Secret Twilight
by BlackRose629
Summary: Summary is in the story...this is a OC fanfiction...Please read and review, but if you just want to say my Fanfic is a mary sue then keep it to yourself. Because I like writing with fan characters and I like it when others do it too... EdwardXOC
1. Prologue

Summary: Diana Martin is persona of myself; Diana's moves to Forks with her mother, a small, perpetually rainy town in Washington, She was okay with the move. But once she meets the mysterious and alluring Edward Cullen, Diana's life takes a thrilling and terrifying turn. Up until now, Edward has managed to keep his vampire identity a secret in the small community he lives in, but now nobody is safe, especially Diana, the person Edward holds most dear. The lovers find themselves balanced precariously on the point of a knife--between desire and danger. Bella is not in this fan-fiction; It's a what if I was in her kind of Fan fiction. Some of it stays true to the book but I do change a and add things to it... This is my first time writing in this style. Please read & review But, if your going to tell me that Diana Martin is a mary-sue or anything like that please keep to yourself don't want to hear it...

But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,

Thou shalt not eat of it:

For in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die…

Genesis 2:17

Prologue

I always wonder how I would die; though I'd some idea after these few months. But even if I hadn't, I never would have imagined something like this.

I watched breathless across the long room, into the dark eyes of the hunter, and he looked pleasantly back at me.

Certainly this was a good way to die; in the place of someone else I love. Brace, even. That has to count for something…

I knew that if I'd never gone to Forks, I wouldn't be facing death now. But as scared as I was, I couldn't bring myself to regret the decision. When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations; is it reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end?

The hunter smiled in an eager way as he sauntered forward to kill me…


	2. Chapter 1 First Encounter

Chapter 1

First Encounter

In the Olympic Peninsula of northwest Washington State, a small town named Forks exists under a near steady cover of clouds. It rains on this town more than any other place in the United States. It was in this town that I now would spend my last 2 years of high school; a decision made by my mother. A decision that didn't bother me as much as it would have if my little sister was in my position. She hated Forks; I had no big opinion about it. My sister loved Florida. The sun with it's blistering heat and the wide beaches. I was more of an indoor kind of person. Spending most of my time drawing, reading, or whatever I was in the mood to do.

I watched my father as he drove my mother and me to the airport; with my sister asleep in the back seat. The AC at full blast seeing is how it was ninety-nine degrees outside. But I wasn't surprised; it was Florida after all, the sky a wonderful cloudless light blue. I was wearing my favorite clothes; cotton black pants; a black short sleeve shirt it read "I'm not minion of evil, I'm upper management." I had got it at a convention a few years back. On my lap lay a Grey sweater.

"Diana," my mom said to me; before we got to the airport. "You don't have to do this."

My mom looks like me, except for her slightly shorter hair. I think she felt a little bad letting Vanessa stay behind to finish the school year. Then asking me to move with. I really didn't mind much. The only things I would miss are my Grandparents, Dad, and my friends.

"I want to go," I said with a sad smile. We continued to talk about it as we went into the airport, heading towards the plane's entrance.

"Are you really sure, sweetie?" She asked again.

"I'm sure."

"We'll see you soon," my dad said hugging me tightly. "You can come home whenever you want."

But I could see the sacrifice in his eyes behind the promise. Knowing him if I did want to come back he'd most likely tell me to stick with for another week. Probably thinking I would forget about it.

"Don't worry about me," I urged. "It'll be great. I love you, Daddy." I hugged him then looked at Vanessa with smile. "Love you."

She smiled back. "You too."

"Make sure to take care of each other." she just rolled her eyes.

"You know we will; Try not to stay indoor too much. You don't to become a hermit. " She laughs softly as tears began to build in her eyes.

"I think I already am…" I laughed.

After a few more hugs and goodbyes; we got on the plane.

It was going to hours before we would reach Port Angeles, and then an hour drive back down to Forks. Mom was really being nice about the whole thing. She wasn't pushy about me moving with her at all. The reason we were moving was that she had gotten an offer for a new job; I'm not sure what the job was; just that she would still be working in the same line work she was doing back in Florida just with more pay. Seeing that we needed the money she took the job instantly. She seemed genuinely pleased about it and that I came so willingly. She'd already gotten me registered for high school.

But it was sure to be awkward; my first day school. I groaned as I thought about.

When we landed in Port Angeles, it was raining. I was expecting this because my mother, sister and I had driven here before along side a moving van. The whole time there it was raining. I learned that Forks was the total opposite of Florida. Mom gave me a one-armed hug when I stumbled my way off the plane.

"Thank you so much for coming with me." she said smiling.

"You're welcome…"

"How are you feeling?"

"Good."

I had only a few bags. Most of my things waited for me in our new home. But, I knew each of us would have to buy whole new wardrobes. I put on my sweater as we walked outside of the airport. But I still felt cold. A taxi waited for us; all of our things fit easily into the trunk.

We talked for few minutes about the weather, which was damp, and that was pretty much it for Conversation. We stared out the windows in silence.

It was beautiful; everything was green: the trees, their trunks covered with moss, their branches hanging with a canopy of it, the ground covered with ferns. Even the air filtered down greenly through the leaves.

Eventually we made it to the house. A medium two storey, Four-bedroom house; There, parked on the street in front of the house was an unfamiliar truck. It was a faded red color. It looked like it was one of those solid iron affairs that weren't easily damaged. The kind you see at the scene of an accident, paint job unscratched, surrounded by the pieces of the foreign car it had destroyed.

"Do you like it?" She asked eagerly

I looked at it bewildered. "Is it for me?"

She beamed at my reaction. "Yup, bought it for you as a thank you gift."

"A Car! Oh, thank you, But mom I don't even have my license. Plus you know I'm scared to drive."

"Honey I know, but the school isn't very close. I'm not going to be able to drive to school all the time."

'She's right.' sighing. "I'll do my best; so what kind of truck is it?"

"A Chevy I think."

"Where did you find it?"

"Do you remember Billy Black over at La Push?" La Push is the tiny Indian reservation on the coast. We got a little lost on our way to our new house and found our selves in the middle of it.

"I don't think so. Was he the man in the wheelchair?" My memory wasn't the best; if I'm not around someone for a while I would almost completely forget all about them.

"Yes, He was the nice man who gave us the right direction back to town and his son helped us move our things in the house."

"Oh, yeah him! What about him?"

"Well, he can't drive anymore, and he offered to sell me his truck really cheap."

"Cheap; huh… how old is it?" I could see from her change of expression that this was the question she was hoping I wouldn't ask.

"Well, Billy said that he's done a lot of work on the engine — it's only a few years old, really."

"Mom, I don't really know anything about cars. I wouldn't be able to fix it if anything went wrong, and it's not like Dad lives a few miles away any more so we couldn't afford a mechanic."

"Really, Diana, the thing runs great."

I looked my car. "Wow, Free… Oh, that's so sweet of you. Thank you!" I hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek.

"You're very welcome. I want you to be happy here. But, when your sister gets here you'll have to drive her to school too."

Sighing "I guess that means waking up early then I have too…"

"And we all know much you just love waking up early; don't we?" She said with a laugh.

Smiling I said "Ha Ha; you're so funny…"

I got out the taxi as my mom talked to the taxi driver. Once I reached my car; I moved my fingers around the door handle. Feeling the smooth cool metal under my fingers; I heard my mother's foot steps come close behind so I turned and grinned at her.

"Wow, mom, I love it! Thanks!"

"And don't worry about school thou I'll drive you till I have to start work."

"Thank you. I'll try to get my license by then." Now my dreadful day tomorrow would be just that much less awful. I never liked the first day of school, plus being the new girl wasn't going to be fun neither. At least, I wouldn't be faced with the choice of either walking two miles in the rain to school.

It took only a couple trips to get all our stuff inside. After Mom paid the taxi driver; Mom walked to her down stair master bedroom and I walked upstairs. I claimed the last bedroom in the back that faced out over the back yard. I liked it the most because it reminded me of my old room. It had that same feel to it; no matter what the hour was the room would stay dark. It was good for days when I would stay up really late and still wanted to sleep in the dark. Not having to worry about the sun prolonging my sleep. The wooden floor, the white walls, the whiten lace curtains around the largest window; those had to go. I'd buy some black ones when I got the chance. The only changes I was able to make when we first came were getting a queen size a bed and a couple of book shelves.

I look at my new room and sighed; it would take some time before it felt more like me. I popped my head out the door;

"Hey, mom…"

"Yeah?" She sounded like she was down stairs.

"Is the computer up and running?"

"Yes, it's all set up in the guest room."

I took a quick look at the door in front of me and grinned.

"Thank you" I yelled down to her.

Opening and walking though the door I spotted the desk next to the twin bed. On it sit our ancient family computer, with the phone line for the modem stapled along the floor to the nearest phone jack. Our family has had this computer since I was elementary school. So to say it was slow would be an epic under statement. But it was the only means of connection to my beloved internet. I pushed the computer's on button and walked out of the room; Heading to the only upstairs bathroom in between my room and the guest room. In future I'm going to have to share it with Vanessa. I tried not to dwell too much on that fact. Once reaching the bathroom I closed it spending about a couple minutes doing what had to do. Then washing my hands and turning back to the guest room where the fully loaded computer waited for me.

Hopping in to the chair next turning it to face the computer; I then started the aol program and signed in. I hated aol with a passion but it was the only able internet browser at the time. Maybe I'll be able to convince mom to get wireless or something like it. Once the most annoying and slowly dial up finished I began to write a couple of e-mails to my friends. After finish with that I check a couple of my favorite web sites. I think I spent about a couple hours internet surfing when I heard my mom call my name from down stairs. She wanted to me to come down so we could eat dinner. I signed out of aol, turned off the computer, and headed down.

Once I got closer to the bottom of the stair way; I could smell the pizza that sat on the kitchen condor. I walked over to the condor noticing that there were four boxes of pizza. That confused me; mom wasn't very king on eating out very much; so if we ordered in she would always order enough too last just a couple of days.

"mom?" I asked still confused.

"yes?"

"Why are so many boxes?"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you; I invited Mr. Black and his son over so to thank them for all their help. They should be here soon."

"Oh, okay…"

I grabbed a plate with a couple slices of cheese pizza. Taking a bite of a slice as I walked to the couch facing the TV; one of my newest favorite cartoons began its theme song. When a knock came from the front door; I leaped to my feet calling to the door "Coming!" I opened the door and greeted out first guests. The boy smiled shyly at me and politely I smiled back.

"It smells great in here…" Stated Mr. Black as his son rolled him in the house. He looked at up me and with a big smile; presenting his large hand up to me. I took it with a smile; He gave me a small squeeze before letting my hand go.

"It's nice to see you again; Diana."

I was surprised that even remembered my name; "You too." I look over at his son. But for the life of me I couldn't remember his name. I think he noticed because when he shook my hand…

"I'm Jacob." He flashed his teeth at me in a grin.

"Nice to see you too; Jake. Do don't mind me calling you that do you?"

He grinned again "Nope; not at all Dee." Both of us laughed.

"So good to see you kids getting along so well." Mom said with plates of pizza in her hands.

Mom handed the plates to Jake and Mr. Black. She headed to the couch; Mr. Black followed her leaving me and Jacob at the doorway. I heard the TV change to a different program.

"So…" I said awkwardly.

"Yeah…" He seemed to feel as awkward as I did.

"So…Do you go Forks high school?" I asked; hoping for a yes.

"No, I go to the high school over at La push."

"Oh…" I said disappointedly; 'Darn, it would have been nice to at least known someone there.' I sighed to myself.

"New girl?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah… it's going to suck so hard…"

"You shouldn't worry so much."

"I can't help it; I'm not very good at getting along with people. I'm just too weird and goofy. "

He looked at me confused. "What are you talking about? You're not weird or goofy."

I laugh softly. "Thanks Jake, but we've only known each other for a short time. To see my true self you'd have to be round me more often."

"Is that an invitation?"

I felt my cheeks become warm as I realized what I had said. "Well; um…"

"Well, we are friends; aren't we?" he asked warmly.

I couldn't help but smile. "Yeah; we are friends." 'Thank you Jake; you don't know much this means to me.'

He and I talked for while; the time seemed to past so quickly as we chatted. Before we knew it was alright 9:00 pm. After Jake and Mr. Black left; I told my mom good night and headed up to my room. It was nice to be alone, not to have to smile and look pleased; a relief to stare tiredly out the window at the sheeting rain. Forks High School… Even thou Jacob told me not to worry. I still did; I really couldn't help it. The school had a frightening small group of students; there were more than eight hundred people in my junior class alone back home. Most have of the kids here must have grown up together; already forming clicks. I would be the new girl from the hottest and sunniest state, a curiosity, a freak.

Maybe, if I looked like a girl from Florida should, I could work this to my benefit. But physically, I'd never fit in anywhere. I should be tan, with light hair, someone into sports, a cheerleader or maybe a surfer; All the things that go with someone living in the sunniest place on the planet.

But, no; I was pale, I was slightly plump but not fat, obviously not an athlete; I didn't have much interest in it. The closest thing I liked to sports was the game of dodge ball; and that wasn't even a real sport.

When I finished putting my clothes in the dresser, I took a clean pair underwear and went to the communal bathroom to clean myself up after the day of travel. I looked at my face in the mirror as I brushed through my wavy, damp hair. It seems to be curling slightly from the moisture. My skin could be pretty if took more importance in my appearances.

Facing my colorless reflection in the mirror, I was forced to admit that I was lying to myself. I liked it the way it was; even the small bags I had under my eyes. But It wasn't just physically that I'd never fit in. It was rare to find a person let alone a group into the things that caught my interests. And if I couldn't even stick with the small click in my old school; what were my chances here? I only had two ready close friends back home. I was sure going to miss them. I'd have to remember to check tomorrow for their e-mail replies.

But, in gently I really didn't relate well to people my age. Maybe the truth was that I didn't relate well to people, period. Even my mother, who I knew me better then I knew myself, was never in harmony with me, never on exactly the same page. Sometimes I wondered if I was seeing the same things through my eyes that the rest of the world was seeing through theirs. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain. But the cause didn't matter. All that mattered was the effect. And tomorrow would be just the beginning.

Taking a quick shower; then actually wearing a t-shirt to bed then my normal nothing but underwear routine. It was to cold to sleep that way.

I was happy for the good night's rest, even after all my worrying. The night's rain shower certainly helped. I loved the rain when was it time to sleep; the composition of the drops were very calming. I was wakened by mom knocking on my locked door.

"Diana! Wake up!"

"Okay; Mom…" I muddled; then rubbed my face on pillow sleepily.

After getting my lazy bum out of bed; I grabbed my glasses and slowly paced to my window. Opening its large frame; letting the damp air fill the room. Thick fog covered the ground of the backyard. I shivered at the cold; I was fully dressed when walked down stairs. Breakfast waited for me on the condor. A cup of coffee, a bagel with cream cheese and a slice cheddar cheese between the bread. Mom was eating her food in front of TV; tuned to the weather channel.

"Hi, mommy…"

She turned around to look at me with a smile. "Hi, Diana…" She said my name in with her Cuban cadence then her normal American one; which made me smile. "Did you find the food I left for you?"

I nodded. "Yeah, thank you; Mama."

She gave one last smile before turning back to the TV.

After eating and making sure I packed my sketch book in my book-bag. We headed over to the van; the drive was only ten or fifteen minutes but already felt like I was going to be sick. My nerves would not let up.

Finding the school wasn't difficult, the map quest directions made sure of that. The school looked like a collection of matching houses, built with maroon-colored bricks. There were so many trees and shrubs I couldn't see its size at first. She parked in front of the first building, which had a small sign over the door reading front office. No one else was parked there, so I was sure it was off limits, but mom wouldn't be here long so it didn't really matter. I stepped unwillingly out of the toasty van and walked with mom down a little stone path lined with dark hedges. I took a deep breath before following her through the door.

Inside, it was brightly lit, and warm. The office was small; a little waiting area with padded folding chairs, orange-flecked commercial carpet, notices and awards cluttering the walls, a big clock ticking loudly. Plants grew everywhere in large plastic pots, as if there wasn't enough greenery outside. The room was cut in half by a long counter, cluttered with wire baskets full of papers and brightly colored flyers taped to its front. There were three desks behind the counter, one of which was manned by a large, red-haired woman wearing glasses. She was wearing a purple t-shirt.

The red-haired woman looked up at me and mom. "Can I help you?"

"Hello, I'm Rachel Martin." Mom said then motioned to me. "This is my Daughter; Diana Martin." She informed the woman.

"One moment, please." she said. She dug through a precariously stacked pile of documents on her desk till she found the ones she was looking for. "Here she is; I have her schedule right here, and a map of the school." She brought several sheets to the counter.

She went through my classes for me, highlighting the best route to each on the map, and gave me a slip to have each teacher sign, which I was to bring back at the end of the day. She smiled at me and mom; then went back to what she was doing before.

When we went back out to the car, other students were starting to arrive. Mom kissed my cheek and wished me good luck at school. I thanked her, knowing her hopes was wasted. Good luck tended to avoid me. Before she left; she told me to meet her here after school. I agreed; then she was gone.

As I walked closer to school; I noticed most of the cars were older like mine, nothing flashy. The nicest car here was a shiny sliver car it seemed to stand out the most. I looked at the map as sat on bench. Hopefully I wouldn't have to walk around with it stuck in front of my nose all day. I stuffed everything in my bag; I kept my face pulled back into my hood as I walked on the sidewalk, crowded with teenagers. My dark blue Betty boop jacket didn't stand out, I noticed with relief.

Once I finally was able to find building three; a large black "3" was painted on a white square on the east corner. I took in deep breath before I approached the door. Letting it out as I followed two girls with raincoats through the door.

The classroom was small. The people in front of me stopped just inside the door to hang up their coats on a long row of hooks. They were two girls, one a porcelain-colored blonde, the other also pale, with light brown hair. At least my skin wouldn't be a standout here.

I took the slip out of my bag and handed it to the teacher, a tall, balding man whose desk had a nameplate identifying him as Mr. Mason. He looked bored as gave the paper a quick look. He sent me to an empty desk at the back without introducing me to the class. Which I thanked the unknown heavens he didn't make me do that. I tend to make an ass of myself when made to do those things. I like to sit the back the most; because I could draw without being bothered. I kept my eyes down on the reading list the teacher had given me. It was fairly basic: Bronte, Shakespeare, Chaucer, and Faulkner. 'This can't be a special-ed class.' I thought to myself. Special-ed is a type of class for students that learn differently then others. I'd have to make sure they placed me in the right classes. I thought it would be hard for my new classmates to stare at me in the back, but somehow, they managed. 'God, they act like they've never another person before. Do they really need to stare at me.' I thought to myself

Thankfully the class seemed to fly by; the bell rang, a nasal buzzing sound, a gangly boy with skin problems and hair black as an oil slick leaned across the aisle to talk to me.

"I'm Eric…" He looked like the helpful, chess club type.

"Diana" I said; everyone within a three-seat radius turned to look at me. 'Okay… to weird.'

"Nice to meet you; Diane."

"Diana" I corrected.

"Oh, sorry; so where's your next class?" he asked.

I had to check in my bag. "Um, Government, with Jefferson, in building six."

There was nowhere to look without meeting curious eyes.

"I'm headed toward building four, I could show you the way…" Definitely the helpful type; I would take any help I could get.

I smiled tentatively. "Thank you so much."

He got his jackets and we headed out into the rain, which had picked up. I could have sworn several people behind us were walking close enough to eavesdrop. I hoped I wasn't getting to paranoid.

"So where are you from?" He asked.

"Florida."

"So, this is a lot different than Flordia, huh?" he asked.

"Very."

"It doesn't rain much there, does it?"

"It does; but it evens outs with the sunny days."

"Wow, that must be nice?" he wondered.

"I guess." I told him.

"You don't look very tan."

"I'm not a very outdoorsy person."

He studied my face worriedly, and I sighed. We walked around the cafeteria, to the south buildings by the gym. Eric walked me right to the door, though it was clearly marked.

"Well, good luck," he said as I touched the handle. "Maybe we'll have some other classes together." He sounded hopeful.

I smiled at him then shrugged "maybe." I thanked him again then went inside.

The rest of my morning passed in the same fashion. My Trig teacher, Mr. Varner, who would I would have hated anyways just because he taught such a horrible subject, made me stand up in front of the class to introduce myself. And as I expected, I made an ass of myself; tripping over my two feet and talking to soft that Mr. Varner thought it would be helpful to shout at me to speak up. Making everyone in the room laugh and me turning tomato red; 'why, me…?' I thought.

When I finally got to sit in my deck; Mr. Varner didn't look too pleased that I had a hard time publicly speaking. After two classes, I started to recognize a few faces in each class. There just had to be someone always braver than the others to introduce themselves and ask me questions- especially the one if I liked Forks or not. I tried to be truthful with my answers to that one, but I did lie a bit. At least I never needed that stupid map.

One girl however sat next to me in both Trig and Spanish, and she walked with me to the cafeteria at lunch. She was tiny, several inches shorter than my five feet four inches, but her massively curly hair made up for the absence in height. I couldn't remember her name however; I was so bad at remembering names. So I smiled and nodded as she chatted on about teachers and classes. I didn't bother to keep up.

She and I both sat at the end of a full table with several of her friends, whom she introduced me to. But I forgot all their names as soon as she spoke them. Also for some odd reason or another they all seemed quite impressed in her bravery to speak to me. The boy from English class, he waved at me from across the room.

I waved back then I went in to my bag and grabbed my sketch book and started to doodle. I think I half way though a drawing of a chibi. When a group passing in front of the room caught my eye; they settled in the corner of the cafeteria, as far away from where I sat as possible in the long room. There were five of them. They weren't talking, and they weren't eating, though they each had a tray of food in front of them. They however weren't gawking at me like the rest, so it was safe to stare at them with out fear of meeting an excessively interested pair of eyes. But it was none of these things that merited my attention.

They didn't look anything alike. Of the three boys, one was big muscled like a serious weight lifter, with dark, curly hair. Another was taller, leaner, but still muscular, and honey blond. The last was lanky, less bulky, with untidy, bronze-colored hair. He was more boyish than the others, but having a hint of a feminine figure; very thin. They looked like they could be in college, or even teachers here rather than students.

The girls were opposites. The tall one was statuesque. She had a beautiful figure, the kind you saw on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, the kind that made every girl around her take a hit on her self-esteem just by being in the same room. She had the ideal body I wanted. Her hair was golden, gently waving to the middle of her back. The short girl was pixie like, thin in the extreme, with small features. Her hair was a deep black, cropped short and spiked in every direction.

And yet, they were all exactly alike. Every one of them was pale, the palest of all the students living in this sunless town. Paler than me; the hermit. They all had very dark eyes despite the range in hair tones. They also had dark shadows under those eyes purplish, bruise like shadows. As if they were all suffering from a sleepless night or almost recovering from broken noses. Though their noses, all their features really were straight, perfect, and sharp.

But all this is not why I couldn't look away.

I stared because their faces, so different, so similar, were all overwhelmingly, inhumanly beautiful. They were faces you never expected to see except perhaps on the airbrushed pages of a fashion magazine. Or painted by an old master as the faces of the angels; It was hard to decide who was the most beautiful; maybe the perfect blond girl, or the bronze-haired boy. They kind of remind me of one of my favorite mythical creatures.

They were all looking away, away from each other, away from the other students, away from anything in particular as far as I could tell. As I watched, the small girl rose with her tray. Unopened soda, unbitten apple, and walked away with a quick graceful lope that belonged on a runway or on ballet. I watched, amazed at her flexible dancer's step, till she dumped her tray and glided through the back door, faster than I would have thought possible. My eyes darted back to the others, who sat unchanging. Then I did a quick head shot of the pixie like girl that left.

"Who are they?" I asked the girl from my Spanish class.

As she looked up to see who I meant; I think she already knew who I was talking, probably, from my tone. Suddenly the thinner one, the boyish one, and the youngest, perhaps; he looked at her. He looked at my neighbor for just a fraction of a second, and then his dark eyes flickered to mine.

I smiled politely at him; He looked away quickly. In that brief flash of a glance, his face held nothing of interest; it was as if she had called his name, and he'd looked up in involuntary response, already having decided not to answer.

My neighbor giggled in embarrassment, looking at the table. I just mouthed the word "Oookay…" then looked back at her.

"That's Edward and Emmett Cullen, and Rosalie and Jasper Hale. The one who left was Alice Cullen; they all live together with Dr. Cullen and his wife." She said this under her breath.

I glanced sideways at the beautiful bronze-hair boy, who was looking at his tray now, picking a bagel to pieces with long, pale fingers. His mouth was moving very quickly, his perfect lips barely opening. The other three still looked away, and yet I felt he was speaking quietly to them.

I noticed then that all their names where quite strange, something that a grandmother or grandfather would have. But maybe elegant and old world names where the vogue in this small town- small town names. I finally then remembered that my neighbor was called Jessica, and that was a more than perfectly common name. There were two girls named Jessica in my History class back home.

"They are very pretty." I said; I wondered if that was the right word to use.

"Yes!" Jessica agreed with another giggle. "They're all together though; Emmett and Rosalie, and Jasper and Alice, I mean. And they live together." Her voice held all the shock and condemnation of the small town; I didn't think much of it.

"Which ones are the Cullens?" I asked. "They don't look related…"

"Oh, they're not. Dr. Cullen is really young, in his twenties or early thirties. They're all adopted. The Hales are brother and sister, twins — the blondes — and they're foster children."

"They look a tad old for foster children."

"They are now, Jasper and Rosalie are both eighteen, but they've been with Mrs. Cullen since they were eight. She's their aunt or something like that."

"That's very sweet of them to take them in. And also care for more kids, even at such a young age."

"I guess so." Jessica admitted reluctantly, and I got the impression that she didn't think of the doctor and his wife so highly. With the glances she was throwing at their adopted children, I would presume she was extremely jealous. "I don't think Mrs. Cullen can have children." she said bluntly as though it should lessen my opinion of her.

Throughout all this conversation, my eyes flickered to the table where the strange family sat and back to my sketch book. They continued to look at the walls and not eating. I had finished doing the two blonds; I moved now to draw the curly brown haired boy.

"Have they always lived in Forks?"

"No," she implied as though it where obvious even to the new girl like me. "They just moved down here two years ago from Alaska."

I felt a surge of pity and relief. Pity because, as beautiful as they were, they were outsiders, they were clearly not accepted. Relief that I wasn't the only one who would end up that way; an outsider and probably not accepted.

Almost finishing the doodle of oldest looking male; I glance up at them, the youngest looking, one of the Cullens, looked up and met my gaze, I looked away my face turning pink. I thought I saw this time an evident curiosity in his expression. I thought I almost saw his perfect smooth lips turn up into a smile. I did notice though his glare had held a sort of unmet expectation; like I had did something amazing. 'Ha; me amazing. That's a bunch of crap-olla.' I thought; continuing to doodle.

"Which one is the boy with the reddish brown hair?" I asked. I peeked at him again from the corner of my eye, and he was still staring at me, but not gawking like everyone else had been; he had a slightly frustrated expression on his features...I looked back my paper.

"Oh that's Edward. He's gorgeous, of course, but don't waste your time. He doesn't date. Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him." she sniffed; I wonder when he turned her down.

Without thinking I said "Maybe he's gay?"

Jessica looked at me like I was crazy.

"You never knew… and just as well; I'm not the type of girl a boy like him would go for." 'If I being truthful; no guy would want me.'

"Oh?" she looked surprised and confused.

"Boys like him; want a thin, big breasted, and beautiful girl. Not a uninteresting, plump girl like me." I said; she gave me the "you are crazy" look again.

I looked away and to my paper to hide from Jessica's reaction to what I said. Then I glanced at him again. His face was turned away, but I thought I saw his cheek appeared lifted, as though he were smiling or about to laugh.

After a few more minutes, the four of the Cullens left the table together. They all were noticeably graceful- even the big brawny one. Edward didn't look at me again as I watch him and has family leave. 'Darn, I did get to start his doodle' I thought.

I sat at that table with Jessica and her friends longer than I would have liked. Maybe I should have just sat alone today. Then I wouldn't have had to place stare tag with that Cullen kid. One this girl who considerately and sweetly reminded me of her name; Angela, had Biology I with me the next hour. She and I walked to class together in an easy silence. I could tell she was shy; which was good I kind of done talking for the day.

When we entered the classroom, Angela went to sit at a black-topped lab table exactly like the ones I was used to. She already had a neighbor. In fact, all the tables were filled but one. Next to the center aisle, I recognized Edward Cullen by his unusual hair, sitting next to that single open seat; my heart beat seemed to pick up.

I then walked down the aisle and introduced myself to the teacher who I had gotten to sign my slip, I watched Edward from the corner of my eyes, and just as I passed, he suddenly went rigid in his seat. He stared at me again, meeting my eyes with the strangest expression on his face- harsh and furious. I looked away quickly shocked; I felt my face heat up... nice I heat up with embarrassment when he looks at me. What was wrong with me today? My brain must be off. I then surprisingly stumbled over a book in the walkway and had to catch myself on the table. The girl sitting there giggled; I stacked out my tongue out which just made the girl giggle again. I'm such a dork…

I noticed then that Edward's eyes were black; coal black.

Mr. Banner signed my slip and handed me a book with no nonsense about introductions. I could tell we where going to get along just fine. Of course he had no choice but to sit me in the only empty seat in the room. I kept my eyes down as I went to sit by Edward, bewildered by the hostile stare he'd given me.

I didn't look up as I set my book on the table and took my seat, but I saw his posture change from the corner of my eye. He was leaning away from me, sitting on the extreme edge of his chair and averting his face like he smelled something awful. I knew I didn't smell bad, I never did... I showered daily and wore cherry blossom perfume. How could I smell bad? I undid my pony tail letting my hair fall over my right shoulders, making a dark curtain between us, trying to pay attention to the teacher.

Unfortunately I lost interest so a swiftly grabbed my sketch book turning to a new page so Edward won't see my mediocre doodles of him and his family; always looking down.

I couldn't stop myself from peeking occasionally through the screen of my hair at the strange boy next to me. During the whole class, he never relaxed his stiff position on the edge of his chair, sitting as far from me as possible. I could see his hand on his left leg was clenched into a fist, tendons standing out under his pale skin. This, too, he never relaxed. He had the long sleeves of his white shirt pushed up to his elbows, and his forearm was surprisingly hard and muscular beneath his light skin. He wasn't nearly as slight as he'd looked next to his burly brother. 'What's wrong with this guy?' I thought as I drew a little Pokémon.

The class seemed to drag on longer than the others. Was it because the end of the day was nearing, or because I was waiting for Edwards's fist to loosen up? It never did however, he continued to just sit there and it looked like he wasn't breathing. 'Is this his normal behavior? Or maybe someone told him my stupid comment.' I questioned my judgment on Jessica's bitterness at lunch today. Maybe she was not as resentful as I'd thought... but her words did speak caution... Edward wasn't interested in any girl around him.

I just forced my mind to think his behavior had nothing to do with me, how could it be; he knows nothing about me.

I wanted to steal another look up at him; God, I regretted it. My eyes widened; he was glaring down at me, his black eyes full of revulsion. I flinched away from him, shrinking into my chair; the phrase 'if looks could kill' ran through my mind.

At that moment the bell rang loudly, catching me off guard; Edward Cullen was out of his seat. Fluidly he rose; he was much taller than I'd thought. His back to me, he was out of that door faster than I thought humanly possible. I sat frozen in my seat, staring blankly after him. He was so mean. It wasn't fair. My hands slowly clenching into fists; I then rushed and gathered my things, trying to keep in the anger I was feeling inside of me. I felt like crying, but then...why would I cry over him...that would just mean he'd won.

"Diane Martin; right?" a male voice asked.

I looked up to see a cute, baby-faced boy; his pale blond hair carefully gelled into orderly spikes, smiling at me in a friendly way. He obviously didn't think I smelled bad.

"Diana" I corrected him, with a smile.

"I'm Mike."

"Hi, Mike."

"Do you need any help finding your next class?"

"I'm headed to the gym; I think I can find it. Of course when comes to me I most likely still get lost."

He laughed; cool, at least I was able to make one person laugh today.

"Well, that's my next class, too." He seemed thrilled.

We walked to class together; I'd have to say he sure liked to talk. He supplied most of the conversation. which I was thankful for. He lived in California till he was ten, but we had mixed thoughts about the sun. He loved it; I just liked as a friend. It turned out he was in my English class too. Mike had to be the nicest person I'd met today.

As we were entering the gym; he asked. "So, did you stab Edward Cullen with a pencil or what? I've never seen him act like that."

I cringed. So I wasn't the only one who had noticed. And, apparently, that wasn't Edward Cullen's usual behavior.

"No; He looked like he hates me or something…" I sighed

"yeah." he said. "He looked like he was in pain or something."

"I don't know why; I didn't even talk to him." I responded.

"Edward's a weird guy." Mike lingered by me instead of going to the boy's locker room. "If I were lucky enough to sit by you, I would have talked to you."

"Thanks; Mike." I said with a smile before walking through the girls' locker room door. He was friendly and clearly admiring. Which a first for me; But in any case he wasn't my type.

The Gym teacher, Coach Clapp, found me a P.E. uniform and made me participate in the activity today saying that, physical education needs no easing in. Here in Forks, P.E. was mandatory all four years, and I hate that so much. But what can you do…

The final bell rang at last. At last I was free from this hell called school. I walked slowly to the office to return my paperwork. The rain had drifted away, but the wind was strong, and colder. I pulled my hood over my head then wrapped my arms around myself.

When I walked into the warm office, my eyes widen at sight of Edward standing at the desk in front of me. I recognized again that tousled bronze hair. He didn't appear to notice the sound of my entrance. I stood pressed against the back wall, waiting for the receptionist to be free. Debating with myself whither if should just leave and gave the woman the papers tomorrow.

I couldn't help but over hear him arguing with the receptionist in a low, attractive voice. I quickly picked up the gist of the argument. He was trying to trade from sixth-hour Biology to another time.

I just couldn't believe what I was hearing; this couldn't be about me, right? It had to be something else, something that happened before I entered the Biology room. The look on his face must have been about another aggravation entirely. It was impossible that this stranger could take such a sudden, intense dislike to me.

The door opened again, and the cold wind suddenly gusted through the room, rustling the papers on the desk. Making my hood fly off; my hair swirling around my face; the girl who came in merely stepped to the desk, placed a note in the wire basket, and walked out again. But Edward's back stiffened, and he turned slowly to glare at me. His face was still handsome; but his eyes were piercing and hate filled eyes. I felt a thrill of genuine fear pulse through me making me slightly shiver. The look only lasted a second, but it chilled me more than the gust of wind from outside did. I looked down at the floor widen eyed. He turned back to the receptionist.

"Never mind, then," he said hastily in a voice like velvet. "I can see that it's impossible. Thank you so much for your help." And he turned on his heel without another look at me, and disappeared out the door.

I went timidly to the desk; handing her the signed slip.

"How did your first day go, dear?" the receptionist asked maternally.

"Fine," I lied; my voice was weak. She didn't look convinced; kind of gave me that pity look as she patted my hand.

"Maybe tomorrow will be better."

After semi agreeing with her; I asked about special-ed. She told me that the school didn't have pacific classes for those kinds of students. That the teachers were already informed about who was SLD; and if they need more help they would get it. I thanked her and waited for my mom outside. I think I was almost the last person to leave; when mom finally arrived. I got in to the car; I laid my head back on the chair and closed my eyes.

"Honey, you okay?" She sounded worried. I really didn't want her to worry so I lied.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just really tired I think I'm going to take a nap when we get home."

"Okay…" she sounded a little relieved, but I wasn't sure.

Once I was in the house; in my bedroom with the door locked. I punched my pillow as I cried out of anger. After calming down I laid my head into my pillow and before I knew it I was asleep…


	3. Chapter 2 A real conversation

Chapter 2

A real conversation

The next morning I got ready at a slow pace. Mom had to keep reminding me to hurry. I really didn't want to go back to school; I wasn't very happy about the idea of sitting next to dagger eyes Edward Cullen in Bio.

Over all the day was a little better but then heck of a lot worse.

It was better because it wasn't raining…yet, though the clouds where threatening rain. It was easier because I knew what to expect of my day. Mike came and sat next to me in English, and walked me to my next class, with Eric glaring at him all the while; that was flattering. People didn't look at me as much as they did yesterday. I found myself adjusting rather nicely.

It was worse though because I was overly exhausted, grey-purple shadows under my eyes. I hadn't slept very well last night; since I went to bed so early I keep waking up in the middle of the night. It was worse; Mr. Varner called on me in Trig class when my hand wasn't raised. I had been drawing not paying attention; I got the answer wrong.

All morning I was dreading lunch, fearing Edward's dagger glares. Part of me wanted to just stomp up to him and get in his face demanding what his problem was...but that would just make me seem more like a bitch. During the time when awake in the night; I would lie in my bed thinking about the settings of how I would confront Edward...though all of that was a fantasy.

When I walked into the cafeteria at with Jessica; trying to keep my eyes from sweeping the place for him. But in the end failing miserably; I saw that his four siblings were sitting together at the same table, and he was not with them.

Mike had interrupted us and moved us to his table. Jessica seemed overjoyed by the attention, and her friends quickly joined us. I sat with a big group at lunch that included Mike, Eric and Jessica and several other people whose faces I had come to remember but completely forgetting their names. But as I tried to listen to their easy lunchroom babble, I was terribly uncomfortable, waiting nervously for the moment of his arrival, if he arrived at all. I was hoping in my mind that he wouldn't or if he did; he'd just ignore me and prove my suspicious of his hate as false.

He didn't come; I felt so relieved. I know; I was being cowardly. I just hated conflict; so I was so happy he wasn't there.

I walked into Biology with more confidence knowing he wasn't there. Mike who was taking on the qualities of man's best friend; walked me faithfully to class. I held my breath at the door; I then exhaled seeing he wasn't there. I went to my seat; Mike followed, starting to talk about an upcoming trip to the beach. He lingered by my desk until the bell rang. Then he smiled at me longingly and went to sit by a girl with braces and a perm. It looked like I was going to have to do something about Mike, before he started liking me more. I wasn't sure how to, and Mike was just so nice, I didn't want to be too mean about it. I knew I'd have to be firm but still nice about I really didn't want to hurt the guy.

I was relieved I had the desk to myself, and Edward was absent, it gave me the freedom to set my bag on his spot so it wouldn't be on the floor. But I couldn't get rid of the nagging suspicion that there was a reason that he wasn't there. It was ridiculous and a bit self-centered of me to think that I had affected him so much. It was impossible but then again I couldn't help but worry that it was true.

When the school day was finally done; I rushed out of the girls locker room, successfully evading my personal puppy dog; Mike. I walked swiftly out to the parking lot. It was crowded now with fleeing students. I waited at the office for mom.

When she got there; mom told me we had no food in the house. So we made a shopping list in the car; we were about to leave for the grocery store.

Mom carefully backed out in the line of cars that were waiting to exit the parking lot. As we waited; I noticed the two Cullens and the Hale twins getting into their car. It was the shiny sliver car I saw on my first day. As I watched; it was obvious that they were all dressed exceptionally well, simply, but clearly from designer origins. With their remarkably good looks and the style in which they carried themselves, they could have worn dishrags and fishing wire and still looked as beautiful as they did. It seemed to me that they had an excessive amount of money, and its a little sad that since they had money and good looks. But no acceptance here.

As I gave that a second thought; I didn't really believe that. The separation must be something that they preferred; I couldn't imagine any door not opened by their degree of beauty.

They looked at my car as I passed them, I tried to kept my eyes straight forward; I was thrilled when we were finally free from school grounds and their stares.

The supermarket wasn't far from school, just a few streets south, off the high way. It was nice to be inside the supermarket; it felt normal. The store was big enough inside that I didn't hear the rain begin to fall on the roof to remind me where I was.

When we got home I unloaded all the groceries, stuffing them in wherever I could find an open space. Mom wrapped potatoes in tin foil and stuck them in the oven to bake; I took my book bag upstairs. I changed into shorts and a t-shirt. I straighten ponytail; turned the family computer on and began to check my messages...three, two from my friends, and one from my little sister. I replied to them quickly and shut down the computer. I decided to unpack some boxes; I started with my box of anime and movies. Putting them in tall piles along side my small TV; I then moved to my next box of my small book collection with my large manga collection. As I was almost done putting them away when my volume one manga of Mars caught my eye; I started to re-read it' I lost track of time. When looked at my cell phone's digital clock it read 6:30 pm. I rushed downstairs to see mom taking the potatoes out and putting the steak in to broil.

"Diana?" Mom called out. She must have heard me coming down.

"Hi, mom."

"Hi sweetie; you hungry?" She asked as she set the timer.

"Yup." I walked into the kitchen and hugged her.

She hugged me back. "So how was school?"

"Fine." This time I didn't have to lie.

"I'm making steak and potatoes, and a salad. Any of that sound good?" She asked; I looked back at her and smiled.

"Very."

She handed me a can of soda as we sat at the dinner table.

"Sorry I was so late picking you up yesterday. I was talking with a Doctor I'm going to work with. And I lost track of time." She said as I spitted at my drink.

"A Doctor, Oooh…" I started whistled.

She laughed. "I think his name was Dr. Cullen."

"Dr. Cullen?" I looked back in amazement as I stared at her.

"Yes, do you know him?" She asked confused.

"Well, no; His kids go to my school."

"Oh; are they nice?"

"I don't really know; I haven't talked to them." Of course I knew one thing about them; Edward wasn't nice.

"I see…"

"Well. I'm goin' take shower, please call me down when dinner's done." I got up and kissed the side of her head then walked towards the stairs.

Mom called me down as I expected; I sniffed the air appreciatively as I walked in the room.

"Smells good Mom." I praised and sat down with her.

"Thanks." She smiled a bit.

Mom and I chatted along through dinner. She cleared the table while I started on the dishes, which I was glad we had a dishwasher and I didn't have to do them by hand. After that I went upstairs unwillingly to work on my homework.

And for once, the weather made the house silent.

The rest of the week was uneventful. I got used to the routine of classes. By Friday I was able to recognized, if not name, everyone in the school by memory. Edward Cullen didn't come back to school.

Every day, I watched nervously until the rest of the Cullens entered the cafeteria without him. Then I could relax and join in on the lunchtime talking. Mostly it was centered around the trip to La Push Ocean Park in two weeks that Mike was putting together. I was invited, and I had agreed to go, more with hidden action. If I was going to La Push; I would see if Jacob wasn't busy. I hadn't seen or talked to him since he came over with his dad.

By Friday I was perfectly comfortable with walking into class and sitting down at the lab table, spreading my things out and doing my work. I was no longer worried that Edward would be there. For all I knew, he had dropped out of school. 'Good riddance.' I tried not to think about him, but I couldn't totally suppress the worry that I was responsible for his continual absence, as crazy as it sounded and seemed. Other than that my week progressed without incident.

Mom just cleaned the house did some unpacking. Well got ahead on my homework, wrote to my friends and family in Florida; letters and such. Mom and I did drive to the library Saturday; after she came back from church. I wasn't very religious myself; mom was nice not making me go with her. I knew she didn't like the fact that I didn't really believe in god. I did believe in the idea of god; but I was the kind of person who had to see it to believe.

Sadly the library so poorly stocked I didn't bother to check anything out. I decided that when I got my license. I would plan a trip to look for a better library or maybe even a book store. The rain stayed soft over the weekend, quiet, so I was still able to sleep even thou I liked to hear it when went to bed. The circles under my eyes had lightened to my normal ones.

Some people greeted me in the parking lot Monday morning. I didn't know all of their names, but I still managed to wave back and smile at all of them. It was colder this morning, but to my happiness it wasn't raining. In English, Mike took his comfortable seat by my side. We had a pop quiz on Wuthering Heights...I aced it; thanks to Mike for helping me study for it.

All in all I was feeling more comfortable there then I thought possible; more comfortable than I had ever expected to ever feel here.

When we walked out of the classroom, the air was full of swirling white bits of snow. I could hear people shouting in excitement to each other, and the wind bit at my cheeks.

"Wow. It's snowing." Mike said holding his hands up to catch some in his open palms.

"Ah…" I watched at the little cotton puffs of snow building up on the walk way. He then looked at me surprised.

"Don't tell me you don't like snow?"

"I don't know; this is the first time I have seen it." I said to him. Mike laughed.

"That's right; you're from Florida so you've never seen the white stuff…" A big squishy ball of dripping snow smacked into the back of his head. We both turned to see where it had come from. I had my suspicions about Eric, who was walking away, his back towards us. Mike apparently had the same notion. He bent over and began to scrape together a pile of white mush.

"I'll see you at lunch Mike, okay?" I said walking as I spoke.

I was mesmerized by the snow; but the last thing I wanted was to get in the middle of a snow ball fight.

He just nodded his eyes on Eric's retreating figure.

Throughout the morning everyone chattered excitedly about the snow fall. Apparently it was the first snowfall of the New Year. I did like playing with it while I walked to class and it was drier than rain, but when it got into my shoes...that's when I started to dislike it.

I watched carefully as I walked to the cafeteria with Jessica after Spanish. Mush balls of snow flying in miscellaneous directions. I kept my binder in my hands, ready to use it if a stray one should come my way. Knowing my luck it would most likely hit me in the face. So I made sure my binder was close to my face. Jessica thought I was hilarious, but something my expression must have held her back from throwing a snow ball at me herself.

Mike caught up to us as we walked through the doors, laughing, with ice melting the spikes in his hair. He and Jessica were talking animatedly about the snow fight as we got in line to buy our food. I glanced towards the table in the corner out of habit. And then I froze. There where now five people at the Cullen table.

Big loud 'NOOOOOOOO!' ran though my mind; Jessica pulled on my arm.

"Hello Dee? Diana? What do you want?"

I looked down; my ears and neck were hot. I had no reason to feel self-conscious and I had to keep reminding myself of that. I hadn't done anything wrong.

"What's with Diana?" Mike asked Jessica.

"It's nothing." I answered. I got myself a pizza, fries, and a soda. Nothing in the world could ruin my appetite. I then caught up to the end of the line.

I waited for them to get their food, and then followed them to their table, my eyes on my feet. I then sat there and nibbling at my slice of pizza. Then sipping on my soda slowly, feeling the bubbles churn in my stomach. Twice Mike asked with unnecessary concern if I was alright. But even though I said I was fine, maybe I should play it up and spend the next hour or so in the nurse's station.

I was being silly; I didn't have to run away. I decided to permit myself one glance at the Cullen family table. If he was glaring at me, I would skip Bio and run to the nurse's station to hide like the coward I was.

I kept my head down and glanced under my lashes. None of them were looking this way so I just flipped my long brown hair over my shoulder and raised my head a little bit.

They were laughing. Edward, Jasper, and Emmet all had their hair entirely saturated with melting snow. Alice and Rosalie where leaning away as Emmet shook his dripping hair towards them. They where enjoying the snow like any normal group of teenagers...except they looked more like a movie scene than real life. I was surprised that I was able to remember all their names. But I guess; After watching them for so long helped.

I examined them, something was different, and something I couldn't put my finger on. I examined Edward the most carefully. His skin was less pale. I assumed from being flush from the cold; the circles under his eyes less noticeable. But there was something more and it was annoying me. I decided since Edward wasn't looking at me I would start and finish his drawing. Still felt ill of him; but that wouldn't stop me. I moved my food to the side; pulled out my sketch book turning back to the page I had the rest of his family on and began to draw. I finished doing the outlines of his face, neck, and shoulder. I looked back up to his face; I wanted to get just right or close to.

"Diana what are you staring at?" Jessica imposed her eyes following my gaze.

At that precise moment, Edward's eyes flashed over and met mine.

I quickly looked back at my paper, letting a few strands of my hair fall to conceal me. I was sure though, that in that very instant our eyes met, that he didn't look harsh or unfriendly as he had the last time I'd seen him. He merely looked curious and unsatisfied again.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you." Jessica giggled in my ear.

"He doesn't look angry does he?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Uh, no." she said, sounding confused by my question. "Should he be?"

"I think he really hates me."

"The Cullens don't like anyone...well, they don't notice anyone enough to dislike them or like them. But he's still staring at you."

"Well stop looking at him!" I hissed.

She snickered, but then looked away. I raised my head to make sure enough she did. She then gushed; that sound made me jump. I looked at her confused.

"Are you drawing who I think your drawing?"

"Shhh! Not so loud!" I felt my cheeks became very warm.

"sorry; I'm just surprised. They're so cute…"

"Thanks" I said; still blushing.

"What style is that?"

"Anime… It's the only one I really know how to draw in."

Mike interrupted us then; he was planning an epic battle of the blizzard in the parking lot after school and wanted Jessica and I to join. Jessica agreed passionately, I on the other hand declined gracefully. I wasn't that susceptible to Mike as Jessica was...she was up for anything he wanted to do...and for that I figured she liked him.

The rest of the lunch period I just stared down at my page and kept silent. I was finally able to finish my doodles of the Cullen family. I decided to honor the bargain I'd made with myself. Since he didn't look angry, I would go to Biology. And if he did decide to go back to stabbing me with his eyes; I would beg the teacher to let me to the nurse's office.

I didn't really want to walk to class with Mike as usual; he seemed to be a popular target for all the snowball snipers. But when we went to the door everyone besides me groaned in unison. It was raining and washing away all traces of the snow away, in clear, icy ribbons down the side of the walk way...I think then that's when a small smile came up onto my face. I would be free to go straight home after gym and not get harassed by anyone with a snow ball on my way to the office.

Mike kept up a string of complaints as we headed to building four.

Once inside the classroom; I saw with relief that my table was still empty. Mr. Banner was walking around the room, distributing microscopes and a box of slides to each table. Class didn't start for another few minutes, and the room buzzed with conversation. I kept my eyes away from the door, doodling a chibi of my favorite pokemon; Mewtwo.

I heard very clearly when the chair next to me moved, but I forced my eyes to stay focused on my drawing.

"Hello," a quiet, musical voice said.

I liked the sound of it; I looked up stunned that he was even speaking to me. He was sitting as far away from me as the desk allowed, but his chair was angled towards me. 'So the man with the eyes of death is talking to me…lovely…' His hair was dripping wet, messy. Even so he looked like he'd just finished shooting a commercial for wet hair gel. His dazzling face was friendly, open, and a slight smile on his flawless lips. But his eyes were careful.

"My name is Edward Cullen." he introduced. "I didn't have the chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Diana Martin?"

My mind was swimming with confusion. Had I made up the whole thing, he was utterly and perfectly polite now. I now had to speak; I didn't want to seem rude.

"How do you know my name?" I said lowly.

He laughed a soft enchanting laugh making me feel a little silly.

"Oh, I think everyone knows your name. You are the newest student we've had in a long time."

I grimaced. I had a feeling it was something like that.

"No what I meant was...usually people call me the English spelling of my first name. Diane; I usually have to correct them cause my name is spelled in the Spanish form. And you called me Diana?"

"Oh, Do you prefer Diane?" he questioned and I shook my head slightly.

"No, I just figured you'd have heard Diane. I'm sure some of kids sometimes still call me that behind my back..."

"Oh." he dropped it and then Mr. Banner began speaking as he started class. I tried to concentrate as he explained the lab we would be doing today. The slides in the box where out of order; working as lab partners we had to separate the slides of onion root cells into the phases of mitosis they represented and label them correctly. We also weren't supposed to use our books, and in twenty minutes he would come around and check to see which group had gotten it right.

"Get started." he commanded.

"Ladies first, partner?" Edward asked. I looked up to seem him smiling a crooked smile so beautiful that I could only stare at him like an idiot.

"Or I could start if you wish." The smile faded; he probably was wondering if I was mentally competent.

"Sorry..." I laughed a bit. "I'm just not all here today. I didn't sleep well last night." I lied; then took up the slide and stood up a bit as I fixed it, focused it and then looked into the microscope. I sighed; I had no clue what this was. I really didn't want to look like an idiot in front of him. He must have known the reason for my sigh.

"Do you mind if I have a look?" he asked and I began to remove the slide, but his hand gently caught mine to prevent the full removal. His fingers where ice cold like he had been holding them in a snowdrift before class. But that's not why I jerked my hand away so quickly. The instant our hands had touched it sent an electrical current through us both.

"I'm sorry." he muttered, pulling his hand back immediately. However, he continued to reach for the microscope.

I quickly said "No; I'm sorry…You just surprised me…" I really hated to be rube.

I watched him, still staggered, as he examined the slide for an even shorter time than I had.

"Prophase." he said writing it neatly in the first space of his worksheet. He swiftly switched out the first slide for the second and then glanced at it curiously.

"Anaphase." he murmured and then writing it down as he spoke.

I kept quiet; I really wasn't the best at science.

"Slide three?" He asked; I held it out on my hand and not looking at him as he took out the other slide and we handed them off.

He handed it to me and it appeared as though he was being careful as to not touch my skin again.

I took the most brief look I could manage.

"Interphase." He then passed me the microscope. He took a swift peek at me and then wrote it down. I would have written down for him if I hadn't been so intimidated by his neat elegant script. It so pretty; I didn't want to ruin the sheet with my bad hand writing.

We where finished before anyone else was close. I could see Mike with his partner comparing two slides again and again, and another group ad their book open under the table. 'Real smooth.' I was just lucky Edward was here.

This left me with nothing to do but try not to look at Edward...and unsuccessfully I glanced up at him, and he was staring at me with that same inexplicable look on his face, the look of frustration in his eyes. Suddenly then I identified the difference in his features.

His eyes.

"Do you get contacts?" I blurted out unthinkingly. And he seemed puzzled by my question.

"No." he said.

"Oh." I mumbled. "Oh never mind I just thought there was something different about your eyes."

He just shrugged and looked away.

In fact, I was sure there was something different. I vividly remember the flat black color of his eyes the last time he'd glared at me- the color was striking against the pale color of his skin and his auburn hair. Today though his eyes were a completely different color: a strange tawny, darker than butterscotch, but with the same golden tone. It reminded me of an anime character I liked…His name was Edward too. I didn't understand how that could be, unless he was lying for some reason about the contacts, but why would he? Or maybe Forks was after all driving me insane.

I looked down; his hands were clenched in a hard fist again.

Mr. Banner came to our table then, to see why we weren't working. He looked over our shoulders to glance at the completed work, and then stared more intently to check the answers.

"So Edward, didn't you think Diane should get a chance with the microscope?" Mr. Banner asked.

"Diana." Edward corrected automatically.

"that's my fault; Mr. banner I really wasn't sure what any of these were."

Mr. Banner looked at me now, his expression disappointed. God, I hate getting that look…

Mr. Banner then nodded. "Maybe you should pay more close to my lessons then you do to your drawing…"

"Yes sir." I said; then sighing.

"Well," he said after a moment. "I guess it's good you two are lab partners then." he walked away... 'Gee thanks; I feel good after that comment…ass…'

"It's too bad about the snow isn't it?" Edward asked. I had the feeling that he was forcing himself to make small talk with me. Suspicion swept over me again. It was like he had heard my conversation with Jessica at lunch and was trying to prove me wrong.

"I guess…" I answered honestly, instead of pretending to be normal like everyone else. I was trying to dislodge my stupid suspicions eating at my brain.

"You don't like the cold." It wasn't a question.

"At time I don't; I'm not really used to snow."

"Forks must be a difficult place for you to live," he mused.

"It's no Florida that's for sure." I said bitterly and darkly.

He looked spellbound by what I said, for some reason I couldn't imagine. His face was such a distraction that I tried not to look at it anymore than courtesy absolutely demanded.

"Why did you come here, then?"

No one had asked me that- not straight forward at least, his sounded demanding.

"It's not really that interesting." I said lowly.

"I think I can keep up." he pressed on.

I paused for a long moment, and then made the mistake of meeting his gaze. His dark gold eyes confused me. I ran my fingers distressed through my hair.

"My mother got a new job; here." I said.

"I see." he said, but his voice sounded sympathetic. "When did it happen?"

"She got the offer a month ago."

"So you didn't have anyone to live with there so you came here to live with your mother?"

"No, I have family there. But mom really wanted me to come. So here I am."

I couldn't fathom his interest, but he continued to stare at me with those piercing eyes, as if my story was somehow vitally important.

"Do you have any siblings?"

"Well, I have a little sister.

"You didn't want to stay at least to finish the year?"

"Mom offered to let me stay. But, I knew she'd be lonely if I didn't come."

"You seem unhappy."

"Do I?" I challenged as I quirked an eyebrow and looked at him.

"That just doesn't seem fair to you." he shrugged but his eyes where still intense.

His gaze then became appraising. "You put on a good show," he said slowly. "But I'd be willing to bet that you're suffering more than you let anyone see."

I grimaced at him, resisting the impulse to stick my tongue out at him. I wasn't going to do that again.

"Am I wrong?"

I tried to ignore him.

"I didn't think so," he murmured smugly.

"Why on earth does it matter to_ you_?" I asked bitterly and quite irritated. I kept my eyes away, watching the teacher make rounds.

"That's a very good question." he muttered, so quietly that I wondered if he was talking to himself. However, a few seconds of silence, I decided that was the only answer that I was going to get.

I sighed and just glared at the blackboard.

"Am I annoying you?" he asked. He sounded amused.

I glanced at him without thinking...and told the truth again.

"Not exactly."

"hm..." he smiled widely flashing a set of perfect, white teeth.

Mr. Banner called the class to order then, and I turned with relief to listen. I was very confused about this beautiful boy who may or may not despise me. He'd seemed engrossed in our conversation, but now I could see from the corner of my eyes that he was leaning away from me again, his hands gripping the edge of the table with unmistakable tension.

I tried to appear attentive as Mr. Banner illustrated with transparencies on the overhead projector, what I had seen in the microscope.

When the bell rang, Edward rushed as swiftly and as gracefully as he had last Monday. And like last Monday he left me amazed.

Mike pranced quickly to my side and picked up my books for me; I just imagined a wagging tail and a pair of cute dog ears on him.

"That was awful," he groaned. "They all looked exactly the same. You're lucky you have Cullen for a partner."

"yeah." I said

"Cullen seemed friendly enough today." Mike commented and he didn't seem too pleased at all about it.

I tried to sound indifferent. "I wonder what was with him last Monday?"

I couldn't concentrate in P.E today. We played soccer but I actually kicked the ball so hard that I had pile drove the ball right into my classmate who was being goalie, right in the stomach. I helped him to the nurse's station after saying I was so sorry a million times. Then got dressed in my normal clothes

The rain was just a mist as I walked to the office where mom was waiting for me. I a lot was happier once I was in the car. I got the heater running; I unzipped my jacket, put the hood down, and fluffed my damp hair out Mom looked around to make sure she was clear. Edward Cullen was leaning against the front door of his car. Three cars down from me, and staring intently in my direction; I swiftly looked away. Mom put the car into reverse, almost hitting a rusty car. Lucky for the person driving it Mom swerved expertly out of the way in a drifting motion and around the car before even the person had time to stop. I took a deep breath, still looking out the other side of my car. She told me sorry for the scare. Then started forward nearing out the parking lot; we passed his car, but from my minor peek, I would swear I saw him laughing.


	4. Chapter 3 Marvel

Chapter 3

Marvel

When I opened my eyes in the morning, something was different.

It was the light. It was still the gray-green light of a cloudy day in the forest, but it was clearer somehow. I realized there was no fog veiling my windows.

I jumped up to look outside, and then groaned in horror.

All the rain from yesterday had frozen solid- coating the needles on the trees in a fantastic, gorgeous patterns and making the driveway a deadly ice slick. I had enough trouble with tripping on things even if I was graceful but the driveway just looked like death. 'Maybe I should just go back to bed.'

I threw down a quick bowl of cereal and some orange juice from the carton. I felt excited to go to school for once in my life and to be honest that kind of scared me a little. I never liked school why all the sudden be excited to go now. I knew it wasn't the learning location, my stem of admirers which really did still surprise me or my friends...no I had to be honest with myself. I knew I was eager to go to school because I knew Edward Cullen was going to be there. And that was very, very stupid of me to even look forward to.

I should be avoiding him entirely after embarrassing babbling about myself; I was suspicious of him. Why should he lie about his eyes? I was still frightened by the hostility I sometimes felt coming off of him, and I was still tongue-tied whenever I pictured his perfect face. I was well aware that he was out of my league; so in all perspective I shouldn't be at all eager to see him today...but I was and there was no denying that.

It took every minute of my concentration to make it down the icy brick driveway alive. I almost lost my balance a few times on my way to the van, and I managed to clink to the side of the car just in time before I fell. Clearly today wasn't going to be a good one.

Driving to school, I distracted myself from my fear of falling and my unwanted theory about Edward Cullen by thinking about Mike and Eric. And the obvious differences in how teenage boys responded to me here. I was sure I looked exactly the same as I had in Florida. Maybe it was just that the boys back home watched me pass slowly through all the awkward phases of adolescence and still thought of me that way. That and the fact that Mike or Eric hadn't seen me when I really acted like my anime and cartoon crazy dorky self. Perhaps it was because I was a novelty here, where novelties were few and far between. Possibly my crippling clumsiness that I sometimes display was seen as endearing rather than pathetic, casting me as an all round damsel in distress. Whatever the reason, Mike's puppy dog behavior and Eric's apparent rivalry with him were disconcerting. I wasn't sure if I should prefer being ignored.

When we got to the school I stood there at the back corner of the car, struggling against my thoughts, when I heard an odd sound.

It was a high-pitched screech, and it was fast becoming painfully loud. I then looked up startled.

I saw several things at the same time. Nothing was moving in slow motion, the way it does in a movie. Instead, the rush seemed to make my brain work much faster, and I was able to absorb in clear detail several things at once.

Edward Cullen was standing four cars down from me, staring at me in horror. His face stood out from a sea of faces, all frozen in the same mask of shock. But of more instant importance was the dark blue van that was skidding, tires locked and squealing against the brakes, spinning wildly across the ice of the parking lot. It was going to hit the back end of my car, and I was standing between them. I didn't even have time to scream or close my eyes bracing for the impact.

Just before I heard the shattering crunch of my car getting hit, something hit me hard, but not from the direction I was expected. My head cracked against the icy black top and I felt something solid and cold pinning me to the ground. I was lying on the pavement behind the tanned car we had parked next to. But I didn't notice anything else, because the van was still coming. It had curled gratingly around my car, still spinning and sliding and it was about to hit me again.

A low oath made me aware that someone was with me and a voice impossible not to recognize. Two long pale hands shot out protectively in front of me and the van shuddered to a stop a foot from my face, the last hands fitting beneficially into a deep dent in the side of the van's body.

Then his hands moved so fast they blurred. One was suddenly gripping under the body of the van, and something was dragging me, swinging my legs around like a rag doll's till they hit the side of the tan car. A groaning metallic thud hurt my ears, and the van settled, glasses popping, onto the blacktop; exactly where a second ago my legs had been.

It was absolutely silent for one long second before the screaming began. In the sudden chaos, I could hear more than one person shouting my name. But more clearly than any of all the yelling, I could hear Edward Cullen's low frantic voice in my ear.

"Diana? Are you alright?"

I didn't reply; He asked more worriedly.

"G-Give me a minute." I took in a deep breath then let it out.

"Diana?" He sounded inpatient

"I'm fine." my voice sounded strange. I tried to sit up, and realized that he was holding me against the side of his body in an iron grasp.

"Be careful." he warned as I struggled. "I think you hit your head pretty hard."

I became aware of a throbbing ache centered above my left ear.

"Ow!" I winced out surprised as I held my head in pain.

"That's what I thought." His voice, amazingly sounded like he was suppressing a laugh.

"How in the..." I trailed off, trying to clear my head, get my bearings straight. "How did you get over here so fast?"

"I was standing right next to you, Diana." he said in a serious tone.

I turned to sit up, and this time he let me, releasing his hold around my waist and sliding as far from me as he could in the limited space. I looked at his concerned, innocent expression and was disoriented again by the force of his golden-colored eyes. What was I asking him?

And then they found us, a crowd of people with tears streaming down their faces my mother being one of them. Shouting at each other, shouting at us.

"Don't move." someone instructed.

"Get Tyler out of the van!" someone else shouted.

There was a flurry of activity around us. I tried to get up, but Edward's cold hand pushed my shoulder back down.

"Just stay put for now."

"But it's cold and wet down here." I complained. It surprised me when he chuckled under his breath. There was an edge to the sound.

"You where over there." I suddenly remembered, and his chuckle stopped short. "You where by your car, I remember that."

His expression then turned hard. "No I wasn't."

"I saw you." all around us was chaos. I could hear gruffer voices of the adults arrive on the scene. But I obstinately clung to our argument; I was right and dammit he was going to admit it!

"Diana I was standing right with you, and pulled you out of the way." he unleashed his full force of his gaze on me with those beautiful honey colored eyes, as if trying to communicate something crucial.

"No."

Then his golden eyes blazed. "Please, Diana."

"Why?" I demanded.

"Trust me." he pleaded, his soft voice overwhelming.

I could hear the sirens now. "Will you please explain everything to me later?" he said nothing.

"Promise me you will."

"Fine," he snapped, abruptly exasperated.

"Fine!" I snapped right back, and his expression was taken aback. "You aren't the only one you know with a nasty temper."

It took six EMT's and two teachers- Mr. Varner and Coach Clapp- to shift the van far enough away from us to bring the stretchers in. Edward fervently refused his, and I tried to do the same, but the traitor told them I'd hit my head and probably had a concussion. 'Concussion my Ass Edward Cullen!'

They had tried to put the neck brace on but I shot my hand out grabbing the EMT's wrist.

"Put that stupid thing on me, and I swear I'll break your hand off." I said dangerously and he took a step back from me as he immediately dropped the neck brace. This mess unleashed the beast called my anger.

But when mom finally able get through the people around the ambulance car; she told me to let the man do his job. From the corner of my eye I could see Edward laughing to himself. It looked like the entire school was there, watching soberly as they loaded me in the back of the ambulance. Edward got to ride in front. Jerk.

When they lifted me away from the car, I'd seen the deep dent in the tan car's bumper- a very distinct dent that fit the contours of Edwards's shoulders...as if his body was enough force to damage a metal frame.

And then there was his family, looking on from a distance, with expressions that ranged from disapproval to fury but held a hint of concern for their brother's safety.

I tried to think of a logical solution for what had just happened, all ending results being that I was definitely insane.

Naturally, the ambulance got a police escort to the county hospital. I felt ridiculous the whole time they where unloading me. What made it worse was that Edward simply glided through the hospital doors under his own power. I gritted my teeth together as I simply hated him at the moment.

They put me in the emergency room, a long room with a line of beds separated by pastel-patterned curtains. A nurse put a pressure cuff on my arm and a thermometer under my tongue. Since no one bothered pulling the curtain around to give me some privacy, I decided that it wasn't necessary for me to be wearing the stupid neck brace anymore.

There was another flurry of hospital personnel; another stretcher was brought to the bed next to me. I recognized Tyler Crowley from Government class beneath the bloodstained bandages wrapped tightly around his head. Tyler looked a hundred times worse than how I looked and felt. But he was staring at me anxiously.

"Diana, I'm so sorry!"

"I'm fine Tyler; you poor thing. You look awful, are you alright?"

As we spoke, nurses began unwinding his soiled bandages, exposing a circle of myriad of shallow slices all over his forehead and left cheek.

He ignored me. "I thought I was going to kill you! I was going to fast, and I hit the ice wrong..."he winced as a nurse started cleaning his face off.

"Don't worry Tyler, you missed me."

"How did you get out of the way so fast? You were there and then you were gone?"

"Uh….um… Edward pulled me out of the way."

Tyler then looked confused. "Who?"

"Edward Cullen- he was standing next to me." I was pretty good at lying; I think it sounded convincing.

"Cullen? I didn't see him...wow, it was all so fast, I guess. Is he okay?"

"I think so. He's here somewhere, but they didn't make him use a stretcher."

I knew I wasn't crazy. What had happened? There was no way to explain what I'd seen.

They had wheeled me away to X-ray my head. I told them nothing was wrong with it, and I was right. I didn't even have a concussion. I asked if I could leave but they said that I'd have to talk to a doctor first.

I was in the ER when my mother had rushed into the room and she leaned over the stretcher railing as she cupped my face with her hands examining my face and then kissing my forehead and hugging me.

"Oh god; Diana are you alright? You're not in pain? Tell me you're not hurting are you?" She was crying.

"No I'm fine." I reached up wiping her face with the sleeves to my jacket.

"I'm not bothering you; am I?" a musical voice asked and my eyes looked up and away from my Mom.

Edward was standing at the foot of my bed, smirking, and I glared at him. It wasn't easy; it would have been more natural to ogle.

"Edward I'm really sorry-," Tyler began from his side of the room.

Edward lifted his hand to stop him.

"No blood, no foul," he said flashing a brilliant smile. He then sat down on a chair next to Tyler's bed and still smirked at me.

"So what's the verdict?"

"Nothings wrong with me, I told you that from the beginning. Until you sold me out and had those EMT's put me on a stretcher. Then one of them tried putting that stupid neck brace on me..."

"You're quite something when you get angry. That threat even made me shiver." Edward teased.

"Is that what happened?" Mom asked and I looked up at her and meekly nodded.

"Sorry." I said and he shook his head and ruffled my hair.

"Well once you don't want to do something it's hard for anyone to change it I suppose." She kissed my forehead again. "I have to go sign a few paperwork and stuff. Then you can leave. I'll have you're father come in and check on her Edward."

"Dr. Cullen?" I asked stupidly.

"Who else?" she chuckled as she left the room; she sounded so happy to hear I was alright.

"How come you aren't strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?"

"It's all about who you know," he answered. "But don't worry, I came to spring you."

Then a doctor walked around the corner, and my mouth fell open. He was young, he was blonde...and he was way handsomer than any movie star I'd ever seen. He was pale though and tired looking, with circles under his eyes. This had to be Edward's father.

"So Miss Martin" Mr. Cullen said in a remarkably appealing voice. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine sir." I said, for the last time I hoped.

"Your X-rays look good." he said. "Does your head hurt? Edward said you hit your head pretty hard."

"It's fine." I sighed and threw Edward a very disapproving glance.

The doctor's cool fingers probed lightly along my skull. When his fingers brushed over my temple I winced and the doctor noticed.

"Tender?" he asked.

"Not really."

I heard a chuckle, and he looked over to see Edward's full of himself smile. My eyes narrowed.

"Well your mother discharged you, you're free to leave."

"Can I go back to school?" 'I can't believe I just said that…'

"I think you should take it easy today Diana."

I glanced at Edward.

"Does _he_ get to go back to school?"

"Well someone has to spread the good news that we survived." Edward said smugly.

"Actually," Dr. Cullen corrected, "most of the school seems to be in the waiting room."

"Oh no!" I moaned out, covering my face with my hands. Dr. Cullen raised his eyebrows with concern.

"Do you want to stay?"

"No, no!" I insisted, throwing my legs over the side of the bed and hopping down quickly- too quickly- I staggered, and Dr. Cullen caught me. He now looked even more concerned.

"Diana maybe you should really consider staying." he asked hopefully and I shook my head being stubborn.

"I really am fine, _really_." no need to tell him my balance problems had anything to do with my head.

"Well take some Tylenol for the pain," he suggested as he set me straight.

"My head doesn't hurt, it's just a bump really. Thank you, but I am fine."

"You were extremely lucky." Dr. Cullen said as he signed my chart.

"Lucky Edward happened to be standing next to me." I corrected with a hard glance at the subject of my statement.

"Oh, well, yes." Dr. Cullen agreed, suddenly occupied with the papers in front of him. Then he looked away, at Tyler, and walked to the next bed, and began checking his cuts.

As soon as the doctor's back was turned, I moved to Edward's side.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" I hissed under my breath. He took a step back from me his jaw suddenly clenched.

"You should go find your mother." he said through his teeth.

I glanced at Dr. Cullen and Tyler.

"I'd like to speak with you alone, if you don't mind," I pressed.

He glared, and then turned his back and strode down the long room. I nearly had to run to keep up. As soon as we turned the corner into a short hallway, he spun around to face me.

"What do you want?" he asked sounding annoyed. His eyes were so cold.

"Don't get defensive with me." I snarled and he looked a bit taken aback. "You owe me an explanation."

"I saved your life- I owe you nothing." I sort of flinched at the resentment in his voice.

"You promised."

"Diana, you hit your head, you have no idea what you're talking about." his beautiful voice was cutting.

My temper flared now, and I glared so harshly at him.

"You and I both know that's a load of crap. There's nothing wrong with my head, I am perfectly competent and sane. If I remember correctly- which I'm perfectly sure I do- you smashed me into the pavement so any and all good conscious injury that been afflicted on me would be cause by _you_!"

"What do you want from me Diana?" he glared back.

"I just want the truth!" I said clenching my fists. "Tell me why I'm lying for you."

"Diana Martin what do you _think_ happened?" he snapped at me. It hurt that he was using my full name and treating me like a child.

It all came out in a rush.

"All I know is that you weren't anywhere near me- Tyler didn't see you either, so don't tell me I hit my head too hard. That van was going to crush us both- and it didn't, and your hands left dents in the sides of it- and you left a dent in the other car, and you're not hurt at all- and the van should have smashed my legs, but you where holding it up..." I stopped hearing myself and how crazy it sounded. I was so mad and so frustrated I took a step back from him as I felt tears coming, streaming down my face.

I wiped the oncoming current of tears with the sleeve of my sweater and looked away from him.

"You think I lifted a van off you?" he asked as if he was questioning my sanity, but it only made me more suspicious. It was like a perfectly delivered line by a skilled actor.

I merely nodded once.

"I know what I saw."

"Nobody is going to believe you, you know." his voice held an edge of derision now.

"It's not like I'm going to tell anyone." I said each word slowly trying to hold in my anger that was still boiling.

Surprise then flitted across his face. "Then why does it matter?"

"It matters to me," I insisted. "I don't like to lie- so there'd better be a good reason to why I am lying."

"Can't you just thank me and get over it?"

"Thank you." I said fuming and expectant.

"You're not going to let it go, are you?"

"No."

"In that case...I hope you enjoy disappointment."

He and I scowled at each other in silence. I was the first to speak trying to keep myself focused. I was in danger of being distracted by his livid, gorgeous face. It was like staring down a destroying angel.

"Why did you even bother?" I asked shakily and frigidly.

He paused, and for a brief second his stunning face was unexpectedly venerable.

"I don't know." he whispered.

Edward then turned and started to walk away and I then turned to the side and sent my fist at the wall.

"Dammit you should have just let me die!" I screamed at him. "It would have been so much better than being stuck here alone and dealing with you!"

I was so angry, it took me a few moments to then move on my own. When I could walk, I made my way slowly to the exit at the end of the hallway...

Mom and I got home at around eleven...Once through the front door I pulled my shoes off and just started stripping my clothes off as I headed towards my room not bothering to get dressed in pajamas. I was so shaken, and a little disappointed in myself...in Edward...in everything. As I lay in bed I looked at the clock next to me and then slowly it faded away as I closed my eyes.

That night was the first night I dreamed of Edward Cullen.


	5. Chapter 4 Offer

Chapter 4

Offer

In my dream it was dark, and what dim light there was seemed to be radiating from Edwards skin. I couldn't see his face, just his back as he walked away from me, leaving me in the blackness. No matter how fast I ran, I couldn't catch up to him; no matter how loud I called, he never turned. Troubled, I woke up a few hours later than when I had fallen asleep and couldn't sleep again for what seemed like a very long time. After that he was just in my dreams nearly every night, but always on the periphery, never with in reach.

The month that followed the accident was uneasy, tense and, at first, embarrassing.

To my dismay, I found myself the center of attention for the rest of that week. Tyler Crowley was impossible, following me around, obsessed with making amends to me somehow. I tried convincing him what I wanted more than anything was for him to forget all about it. Especially since nothing had actually happened to me; but he remained insistent. He followed me between classes, and sat at our now crowded lunch table. Mike and Eric were even less friendly towards him than they were to each other, which made me worry that I had gained another unwelcome admirer. Is it just me or are the boys here a little too friendly…

No one seemed concerned about Edward, though I explained to everyone over and over that he was the real hero- how he had pulled me out of the way and had nearly been crushed, too. I tried to be convincing. Jessica, Mike, Eric and everyone else always commented that they hadn't seen him there till the van was pulled away.

I wondered to myself why no one had seen him standing so far away; before he was suddenly, impossibly saving my life. With mortification, I realized the probable cause- no one else was aware of Edward as I always seemed to. No one else watched him the way I did. 'How pitiful.'

Edward was never surrounded by crowds of curious bystanders eager for a first hand account of what happened. People avoided him as usual. The Cullens sat at the same table as always, not eating, talking only amongst themselves. None of them, especially Edward, didn't glance my way anymore.

When he sat next to me in class, as far away from me as the table would allow, he seemed totally unaware of my presence. Only now and then, when his fist would suddenly ball up- skin stretched even white over the bones- did I wonder if he wasn't quite as unconscious as he appeared.

I wanted very much too still talk to him- and the day after the accident I tried. The last time I'd seen him outside the ER, we'd both been so furious and my little spurt of anger at the end of me wanting to die...I didn't want that to hang between us. I was still angry that he didn't trust me with the truth, even though I was keeping my part of the bargain flawlessly. But he had in fact saved my life, no matter how he'd done it. And overnight, my heated anger had faded and shifted into awed gratitude.

He was already seated when I got into Biology, looking straight ahead. He showed me no signs that I was there even when I sat down next to him.

"Hello Edward." I said showing him I was going to be nice.

He turned his head a little bit toward me, without meeting my gaze, nodded once, and then looked the other way.

And that was the last contact I had with him, though he was there a foot away from me, every day. I watched him sometimes unable to stop myself- from a distance though, in the cafeteria or in the parking lot. I watched as his golden eyes would grow darker, day by day. But in class I gave no more notice that he existed than he showed towards me. I was miserable. And my dreams featuring him, continued. I was amazed at how I was able to remember them all.

Despite my outright lies, the tenor of my talks with mom and mailing my friends in Florida altered my depression slightly. I tried to convince them all it was just the weather that was getting me down.

Mike, at least, was pleased by the obvious coolness between me and my lab partner. I could see he'd been worried that Edward's daring rescue might have impressed me, and he was quite relieved that it seemed to have the opposite effect. If he only knew why we weren't talking...it was for the most stupid reason. He grew more confident, sitting on the edge of my table to talk before Biology class started, ignoring the fact Edward was there, and Edward doing the same right back.

The snow washed away for good after that one dangerously icy day. Mike was disappointed he'd never gotten to stage his snowball fight, but pleased the beach trip would soon be possible. The rain continued heavily though for the weeks passed.

Jessica made me aware of another event looming on the horizon; she called the first Tuesday of December to ask my permission to invite Mike to the girl's choice winter dance in two weeks.

"Are you sure you don't mind...you weren't planning on asking him?" she persisted when I told her that I didn't mind in the least.

"No, Jess, I'm not going." I assured her, I liked dancing. But wasn't good at it.

"It'll be really fun." her attempt to convince me was half hearted. I suspected Jessica enjoyed my inexplicable popularity more than my company in the least.

"You have fun with Mike." I encouraged.

The next day however, I was surprised that Jessica wasn't her usual gushing self in Trig and Spanish. She was silent as she walked by my side between classes, and I was afraid to ask her why. If Mike had turned her down I'd be the last person she'd want to tell.

My fears were strengthened during lunch when Jessica sat as far away from Mike as possible, chatting animatedly with Eric. Mike was unusually silent.

Mike was still quiet as he walked with me to class; the uncomfortable look on his face was a bad sign. But he didn't broach the subject until I was at my seat and he was perched on my desk. As always, I was electrically aware of Edward sitting close enough to touch, as distant as if he were merely and invention of my overactive imagination.

"So," Mike said looking at the floor, "Jessica asked me to the spring dance."

"That's great." I made my voice bright and enthusiastic. "You'll have a lot of fun with Jessica."

"Well..." he floundered as he examined my smile, clearly not enthused about my response."I told her I'd have to think about it."

"How come?" I let disapproval color my tone, though I was relieved he hadn't given her an absolute no.

His face was bright red as he looked down again. Pity took my resolve.

"I was wondering if...well, you might be planning to ask me."

I paused for a moment, hating the wave of guilt that swept through me. But I saw from the corner of my eye, Edward's head tilt reflexively in my direction.

"Mike I seriously think you should tell Jessica yes." I said.

"Did you already ask someone?" Did Edward notice how Mike's eyes flickered in his direction?

"No," I assured him. "I'm not going to the dance at all."

"Why not?" Mike demanded.

I didn't really want to get into it with Mike about my reasons for not going, so I quickly made new plans.

"I'm going to go visit a friend." I exhaled. I did want to see Jake. And this was the perfect time to do it. Thank god I had finally gotten my license

"Can't you go some other weekend?"

"Sorry no, I've been planning this for weeks. I think you should at least give Jessica the common courtesy of saying yes- it's rude to make her wait."

"Yeah, you're right." he mumbled, and turned, dejected to walk back to his seat. I closed my eyes, crossed my arms on the table, and ducking my head into them. Trying to forget the guilt and sympathy out of my head. Mr. Banner began talking. I sighed and opened my eyes.

And Edward was staring at me curiously, that same, familiar edge of frustration even more distinct now in his black eyes.

I stared back, surprised, expecting him to look quickly away. But instead he continued to gaze with probing intensity into my eyes. There was no question of me looking away. My hands started to shake.

"Mr. Cullen?" the teacher called, seeking the answer to a question that I hadn't heard.

"The Krebs Cycle," Edward answered, seeming reluctant as he turned to look at Mr. Banner.

I looked down at my book as soon as his eyes released mine, trying to find my place. Cowardly as ever, I let my curly hair fall over my shoulder and it shielded me so I wouldn't have to look at him. I couldn't believe the rush of emotions pulsing through me- just because he happened to look at me for the first time in half a dozen weeks. I couldn't allow him to have this level of influence over me...not with my current state of affairs. All of this was more than pathetic, it was utterly unhealthy.

I tried very hard not to be aware of him for the rest of the hour, and, since that was impossible, at least not let him know that I was aware of him. When the bell rang at last, I turned my back to him to gather my things, expecting him to leave immediately as usual...but then again nothing really ever goes how I wanted nowadays.

"Diana?" His voice shouldn't have been so familiar to me, as if I had known it all my life rather than just a few short weeks.

I turned slowly, unwillingly. I didn't want to feel what I knew I would feel once our eyes met and I would be staring at his all too perfect face. My expression was wary when I finally turned to him; his expression was unreadable. He didn't say anything.

"What is it? Are you speaking to me again?" I finally asked an unintended note of crabbiness in my voice.

His lips twitched slightly as if he was fighting a smile. "No not really, actually."

I closed my eyes and inhaled slowly through my mouth; He waited.

"Then what do you want, Edward?" I asked keeping my eyes closed; it was easier to talk to him logically that way.

"I'm sorry." He sounded sincere. "I'm being very rude, I know. But it's better this way, really."

I opened my eyes, his face was very serious.

"I don't know what you mean," I said, my voice pending no emotion but it was guarded.

"It's better if we're not friends," he explained. "Trust me."

My eyes narrowed. I had heard that line before.

"Too bad you didn't figure that one out earlier," I hissed at him though my teeth. "You could have saved yourself all this regret."

"Regret?" the word, and my tone, obviously caught him off guard. "Regret for what?"

"For not just letting that stupid van squish me."

When he finally spoke, he almost sounded mad. "You think I regret saving your life."

"I _know_ you do." I snapped.

"Well apparently Diana you don't know anything." He was now definitely mad.

I turned my head sharply from him, clenching my jaw tight against all the wild accusations I wanted to throw at him. I gathered my books together swiftly and a bit angrily, and stood walking to the door. I meant to just glide out of the room like him, but for some odd reason whenever I was angry, or talking, or near Edward my grace just flew out the window. I caught the toe of my boot on the doorjamb and dropped my books. I stood there for a moment as I looked up and blew some of my hair away from my face then sighed and bent down to pick them up. He was already there; he'd already stacked them into a pile. He handed them to me, his face hard.

"Thank you." I said icily, and my eyes sent him the worse glare I could muster.

"You're welcome." he retorted his eyes narrowing at me.

I straightened up swiftly, turned away from him again, and stalked off to gym without a second glance back. 'Bastard; why do you make me so angry…'

Gym was brutal- for everyone else around me. We'd moved on to basketball, another sport that I was bad at. To be fare Coach Clapp separated our teams by gender, to play to the strengths of the boys and girls.

Today was a relief to leave P.E. I almost ran to my car; there were just so many people I wanted to avoid.

I almost had a stroke when I rounded the corner and saw a tall, dark figure leaning against the side of my car. Then I realized it was just Eric. I started walking again.

"Hey, Eric." I called.

"Oh, hey, Diana."

"What's up?" I said as I was unlocking the door. I wasn't paying attention to the uncomfortable edge in his voice, so his next words kind of took me by surprise.

"Uh I was just wondering...if you would go to the spring dance with me?" his voice broke on the last word and I nearly dropped my keys.

"I thought it was the girls' choice," I said to startled to be political.

"Well, yeah," he admitted, shamefaced.

After a moment I recovered my composure and tried to make my smiled warm. "Thank you for asking me, but I'm going to be out of town that day."

"Oh," he said. "Well, maybe next time."

"Maybe." I agreed, and then bit my lip. I wouldn't want him to take that to literally.

He slouched off back towards the school, I heard a low chuckle.

Edward was walking past the front of my car, looking straight forward, his lips pressed together. I pushed the driver's door open more and jumped inside, slamming it loudly behind me. I revved up the engine as it got louder and reversed out into the aisle. Edward was in his car already, two spaces down, sliding out smoothing in front of me, cutting me off. He stopped there- to wait for his family; I could see the four of them walking this way, but still by the cafeteria. I considered taking out the rear of his shiny car; my car could take his out if I wanted to...but there where too many witnesses. I looked in my rearview mirror. A line was beginning to form. Directly behind me, Tyler Crowley was in his recently acquired used car, waving. I was too forced to acknowledge him.

While I was sitting there, looking everywhere but at the car in front of me, I heard a knock on my passenger side window. I looked over; it was Tyler. I glanced back in my rearview mirror, confused. His car was still running, the door left open. I reached over with my left hand and pushed the button down to roll down the passenger window.

"I'm sorry Tyler, I'm stuck behind Cullen." I was annoyed- obviously the hold up wasn't my fault.

"Oh, I know- I just wanted to ask you something while we're trapped here." he grinned.

This could not be happening! Three times in one day! Why me!

"Will you ask me to the spring dance?" he continued.

"I'm not going to be in town Tyler." I said curtly. I had to remember though it wasn't his fault that Mike and Eric had used up my quota of patience today. Not to mention my little spat with Edward after Biology didn't make me all the more friendly either.

"Yeah, Mike said that," he admitted.

"Then why-,"

He shrugged. "I was just hoping you were letting him down easy."

Okay, it was completely his fault.

"Sorry, Tyler," I said, trying with every fiber of being not to tell him to go back to his car and leave me the hell alone. "I really am going out of town."

"That's cool, we still have prom."

And before I could respond, he was walking back to his car. I could feel the shock on my face.

"Why are the boys here so friendly?" I asked myself.

I looked forward to see Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper all sliding into the car. In his rearview mirror, Edward's eyes were on me. He was indubitably shaking with laugher, as if he'd heard every word Tyler had said. My foot itched towards the gas pedal...one little bump couldn't hurt any of them, just the glossy paint job on his fricken car. I revved the engine dangerously as a few people outside jumped.

But they where all in, and Edward was speeding away. I drove home in raged.

When I got home I decided get the pre made chicken enchiladas for dinner. The phone rang. I was almost afraid to answer it, but it might be mom.

It was Jessica, and she was ecstatic; Mike had caught her after school to accept her invitation. I celebrated with her briefly. She had to go; she wanted to call Angela, Lauren and Marie to tell them. I suggested- with casual innocence- that maybe Angela, the shy girl who had Bio with me, could ask Eric. And Lauren, standoffish girl who always ignored me at lunch, could ask Tyler; I'd heard that he was still available. Jess thought it was a great idea. Now that she was sure of Mike, she actually sounded sincere when she said I wished I would go to the dance. I just gave her my friend excuse.

After I hung up, I tried to concentrate on dinner again. I preset the oven. I sat on the couch; my head was overwhelmed, trying to analyze every word Edward had spoken today. What did he mean, it was better if we weren't friends, am I not good enough to be friends with even him?

My stomach twisted as I realized what he must have meant. He must see how absorbed I was by him; he must not want to lead me on...so we couldn't even be friends...because he wasn't interested in me at all. I looked down at the couch. Edward just simply didn't like me.

'Of course he isn't interested in me.' I thought angrily, my eyes stinging- I wasn't interesting. And he was. Interesting...brilliant..And mysterious...and perfect...and beautiful...and possibly able to lift full-sized vans with one hand. But that wasn't even half of it.

Well that was fine. I could leave him alone. And I would leave him alone. I would get through my sentence here. I mean who needed Edward Cullen to survive? And then possibly some school in the Southwest, or possibly Hawaii, would offer me a scholarship. I focused my thoughts on sunny beaches and palm trees as I as got back up to put the enchiladas in the oven.

Mom and I ate in silence for a few moments.

"So how was school?" she asked starting up the conversation.

"Good…"

"So how is work? How is Dr. Cullen?"

"Good as well; he's fine. I talk to him frequently at the hospital. Occasionally one of his kids will come see him. Esme his wife she's so beautiful...it's unreal."

"The kids...don't seem to fit in at school all that much."

Then Mom's facial expressions looked hard.

"People in this town," She muttered. "Carlisle is a wonderful doctor and surgeon, he could work in any hospital in the world, get ten times the salary he gets here. We're extremely lucky to have him here. He's an asset to the community and his children are all so well behaved and polite, they never speak up to him or his wife. I had my doubts but I've seen their family dynamic and it's pure and wonderful. The children are very mature, none of them have gotten into trouble. They stick together the way a family should- camping trips every other weekend...Just because their new comers, people have to talk."

I don't think I've ever heard Mom speak so passionately about someone much less his whole family. She must feel strongly about these people.

"I didn't mean any judgment on their part. They all seemed nice enough to me. I just noticed they kept to themselves is all." I said poking at my food. "They're all really attractive." I said lowly and Mom laughed.

"You should see Dr. Cullen's wife," Mom laughed more. "It's a good thing he's happily married. A lot of the nurses at the hospital can't do their jobs properly with him around."

"Mom?" I asked when she was almost done eatting.

"yes?"

"Um… I just wanted you to know that I'm gong to La push for the day a week from Saturday...if that's okay?"

"Why?" She sounded surprised, as if she was surprised that I wanted to go anywhere within a few miles of home.

"Well, I wanted to see Jacob. I haven't talked to him in a while"

"What about the truck?"

"Don't worry; I'll be fine. It's not far from here; I think my truck can handle it."

"Are you going by yourself?" She asked, and I could tell right off the bat that She was suspicious that I had a secret boyfriend or something, or that She was genuinely worried about car troubles.

"Yes."

"Well, okay…will you be back in time for the dance?"

"And how on earth do you know about that?" I quirked an eye brow as I let my fork fall that was halfway to my mouth.

"It's a small town."

Only in a small town would my mother know when the dance was at the high school.

"No, I really don't like that kind of stuff."

"Oh, okay…"

The next morning, when I pulled into the parking lot, I deliberately parked as far as possible from the silver car. I didn't want to put myself in the path of too much temptation and end up owing him a new car...Getting out of the car, I fumbled with my keys and they fell into a puddle at my feet. Sighing I bent down to get it, a pale hand flashed out and grabbed it before I could. I jerked upright. Edward was right next to me, leaning casually against my car.

"How do you _do_ that?" I asked half amazed and half irritated.

"Do what?" he held my keys out as he spoke. As I reached for it, he dropped it into my palm.

"Appear out of thin air." I slipped my keys into my pocket and then slid my book-bag over my shoulders, while tucking a strand of brown hair behind my ear under the hood.

"Diana, it's not my fault if you are exceptionally un-observant." His voice was quiet as usual- velvet, muted.

I scowled at his perfect face. His eyes were light again today, a deep, golden honey color. Then I had to look down to reassemble my now tangled thoughts.

"So, why the traffic jam last night?" I demanded, still looking away. "I thought you were supposed to be pretending I don't exist, not annoying me to death."

"That was for Tyler's sake, not mine. I had to give him his chance." he snickered.

"You!" I gasped. I couldn't think of a bad enough word at the moment. It felt like the heat of my anger should physically burn him, but he only seemed more amused at my reaction.

"And I'm not pretending you don't exist," he continued.

"So you _are_ trying to irritate me to death!" I said happily. "Since Tyler's van didn't do the job?"

Anger flashed in his golden eyes. His lips pressed together into a hard line, all signs of humor gone.

"Diana, you are utterly absurd," he said, in a low voice growing cold.

My hands tingled- I wanted to badly to hit something. I was surprised at myself; this would be the second time his provoking has wanted to make me lash out. I was actually a nonviolent person and very passive. I turned my back and started to walk away.

"Wait," he called. I kept walking, my boots clicking furiously and sloshing through the rain. But he was next to me easily keeping stride.

"I'm sorry, that was rude," he said as we walked. I of course ignored him. "I'm not saying it isn't true." he continued. "But, it was rude of me to say it, anyway."

"Why won't you just leave me alone?" I grumbled.

"I wanted to ask you something, but you sidetracked me," he chuckled his good humor returning.

"Do you have multiple personality disorder, or perhaps maybe you're bipolar?" I asked severely.

"You're doing it again."

I sighed. "Fine then. What do you want to ask?"

"I was wondering if, a week from Saturday- you know, the day of the winter dance-,"

"Are you trying to be _funny_?" I interrupted him, wheeling around towards him. My face got hot as I looked up at his expression.

His eyes were wickedly amused. "Will you please allow me to finish?"

I noded

"I heard you where going to see a friend, and I was wondering if you wanted a ride."

That was totally unexpected. I think my mouth kind of fell open a bit.

"What?" I wasn't sure what he was getting at.

"Do you want a ride to your friend's home?"

"With who?" I asked, mystified.

"Myself, obviously." he pronounce every syllable, as if he where talking to someone mentally handicapped.

I was still thoroughly stunned. "Why?"

He took a quick look back at my truck then back at me.

"My car is just fine, thank you very much for your concern." I started to walk again as I rolled my eyes.

"You're car won't make it on one tank of gas." He started matching my pace again.

"I don't see how it's any of your business. And are you so sure?" Stupid, shiny pretty sliver car owner.

"Any thing out town would; and the wasting of finite resources is everyone's business."

"Honestly, Edward." I felt a thrill go through me as I said his name, and I hated it...loathed it. "I can't keep up with you, first you say you don't want to be my friend and now you're offering a ride. Where's the video camera?" I laughed sarcastically but venom dripped off my words.

"I said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be. And no, Diana, there is no video camera." he chuckled the last part.

"Oh thanks, now that we have that all cleared up." I realized I had stopped walking again. We were under the shelter of the cafeteria roof now, so I could more easily look at his face. Which certainly didn't help the clearness of my thoughts.

"It would be more... wise for you not to be my friend," he explained. "But honestly, I'm tired of trying to stay away from you, Diana."

His eyes were gloriously intense as he uttered that last sentence, his voice smoldering. I couldn't remember how to breathe and I think my eyes went a bit wider. What's with me?

"Will you allow me to take you?" he asked, still intense.

I couldn't speak, just merely nodded.

He smiled briefly, and then his face became serious.

"You really should stay away from me," he warned. "I'll see you in class."

He turned suddenly and walked back the way we'd come. 'You're so complicated, first you say you want to not be friends, and then you say you can't stay away, but then you turn back around and fight it. Are you trying to drive me insane?'I thought to myself as I just stood there.


	6. Chapter 5 Needles

Chapter 5

Needles

I made my way to English in a daze. I didn't even realize when I first walked in that class had already started.

"Thank you for joining us finally, Miss Martin." Mr. Mason said in a disapproving tone. I was still too dazed as I sat down without replying.

It wasn't till class ended that I realized Mike wasn't sitting in his usual seat next to me. I felt a twinge of guilt. But he and Eric both met me at the door as usual, so I figured I wasn't totally unforgiven. Mike seemed to become more himself as we walked, gaining enthusiasm as he talked about the weather report for this weekend. The rain was supposed to take a minor break, and so maybe his beach trip would be possible. I tried to sound eager, to make up for disappointing him yesterday. It was hard; rain or no rain, it would only be high forties, if we were lucky.

The rest of the morning passed in a blur. It was difficult to believe that I hadn't just imagined what Edward had said, and the way his eyes had looked. Maybe it was just a very convincing dream that I'd confused with reality- after all I did dream about him almost every night. That seemed more probable than that I really appealed to him on any level.

So I was just as impatient and frightened as Jessica when I entered the cafeteria. I wanted to see his face, to see if he'd gone back to the cold, indifferent person I'd known for the past several weeks. Or if, by some miracle, I'd really heard what I'd thought I'd heard this morning. Jessica babbled on and on about her dance plans- Lauren and Angela had asked the other boys and they where all going together- completely unaware of my attention.

Disappointment flooded through me as my eyes unerringly focused on his table. The other four were there, but he was absent. Had he gone home? I followed the still babbling Jessica through the line, crushed. I bought nothing but a bottle of OJ and chips. I wasn't very hungry. I just wanted to go sit down and sulk. 'Maybe, it was a dream after all.'

"Edward Cullen is staring at you again," Jessica said, finally breaking through my generalization with his name. "I wonder why he's sitting alone today."

My head snapped up. I followed her gaze to see Edward, smiling crookedly. Staring at me from an empty table across the cafeteria from where he usually sat. Once he'd caught my eye, he raised one hand and motioned with his index finger for me to join him. As I stared in disbelief, he winked.

"Does he mean _you_?" Jessica asked with insulting surprise in her voice.

"I-I guess…" I muttered for her benefit. "Um, I better go see what he wants."

I could feel her staring at me as I walked away.

When I reached his table, I stood behind the chair across from him, unsure.

"Why don't you sit with me today?" he asked, smiling.

I sat down automatically, watching him with caution. He was still smiling. It was hard to believe that someone so beautiful could exist. I was afraid that he might disappear in a blink of an eye, and I would wake up. 'I need to wake up.'

He seemed to be waiting for me to say something.

"This is different." I finally managed.

"Well..." he paused, and then the rest of his words followed in a rush. "I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly."

I then waited for him to say something that made any sense. The seconds ticked by.

"I have no clue by what you mean," I pointed out.

"I know." he smiled again, and then he changed the subject. "I think your friends are angry with me for stealing you."

"They'll survive. It's not like I'm required to make their lives continue." I could feel their stares boring into my back.

"I may not give you back, though," he said with a wicked glint in his eyes.

I swallowed hard. Why did that make me so happy?

He laughed. "You look worried."

"No," I said, but, my voice then broke slightly. "Surprised actually...what brought all of this on?"

"I told you- I got tired of trying to stay away from you. So I'm giving up." he said still smiling, but his ocher eyes were serious.

"Giving up?" I repeated in confusion.

"Yes- giving up trying to be good. I'm just going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may." His smile sort of faded as he explained, with a hard edge to his voice.

"Sorry, you lost me again."

His breathtaking smile returned.

"I always say too much when I'm talking to you- that's the problem."

"I think we both have that problem; and don't worry- I can hardly understand any of it." I said brushing it off.

"I'm curious on that."

"So in plain English, are we friends now?"

"Friends...," he mused, uncertain.

"Or not," I muttered.

He grinned. "Well, we can try, I suppose. But I'm warning you now that I'm not a good friend for you." Behind his smile the warning was real.

"You know you say that a lot," I noted, trying to ignore the sudden trembling in my stomach and keep my voice even.

"Yes, because you're not listening to me. I'm still waiting for you to believe it. If you're smart you'll avoid me."

"I think you've made your opinion on the subject of my intellect quite clear, too." my eyes narrowed.

"Sorry." He smiled apologetically.

"So, as long as I'm not...being smart, we'll try to be friends?" I struggled to sum up our confusing exchange of words.

"That sounds about right."

I looked at my hands wrapped around the OJ bottle, not sure what to do now.

"What are you thinking?" he asked curiously

I looked up curiously into his deep gold eyes, became puzzled and blurted out the truth.

"I'm trying to figure you out?"

His jaw tightened, but he kept his smile in place with some effort.

"Are you having any luck with that?" he asked in an offhand tone.

"Not really." I admitted.

He chuckled, "What are you theories?"

I could honestly say I blushed this time. I had been wavering the last month between Bruce Wayne, The flash, or maybe the creatures I thought of when I first I saw him and his family. There was no way I was going to own up to that.

"Won't you tell me?" he asked, tilting his head to one side with a shockingly tempting smile. 'SO CUTE.'

I just merely shook my head. "Too silly."

"That's _really _frustrating you know," he complained.

"No," I disagreed quickly. "I can't _imagine _why that would be frustrating at all- just because someone refuses to tell you what they're thinking, even if all the while they're making mysterious little remarks purposely designed to keep you up at night wondering what they could possibly mean...now, why would that be frustrating?"

He grimaced.

"Or better," I continued feeling the rush that I was getting with my string of derision. "Say that person also did a wide range of bizarre things- from saving your life under impossible situations one day to treating you like an exile the next, and he never explained any of that, either, even after he promised. That, also, would be _very_ non-frustrating."

"You've got a bit of a temper, don't you?"

"I don't like double standards, and you have no idea what kind of temper I have. Normally I'm pretty passive...but the times when I do get pissed, I'm pretty dangerous."

We stared at each other; unsmiling.

He glanced over my shoulder, and then, unexpectedly, he snickered.

"What?"

"Your boyfriend seems to think I'm being unpleasant to you- he's debating whether or not to come over to break up our fight." he snickered again.

"Boyfriend?" That's a laugh.… "I don't know who you're talking about." I said frostily my fingers tightening around the OJ bottle. I had to be careful or I was going to break it. "But I'm sure you're wrong anyway."

"I'm not; most people are easy to read."

"Except for me; right?"

"Yes; except for you." His mood shifted suddenly; his eyes turned brooding. "I wonder why that is."

I had to look away from the intensity of his stare. I concerted on unscrewing the lid of my OJ. I took a small sip, staring at the table without seeing it.

"Aren't you hungry?" he asked, distracted.

"Not really." I didn't feel like mentioning that my stomach was full of butterflies. "How about you?" I looked at the empty table in front of him.

"No, I'm not hungry." I didn't understand his expression- it looked like he was enjoying some private joke.

"Can you do me a favor?" I asked after a second of hesitation.

He was suddenly wary. "That depends on what you want."

"It's not much," I assured him.

He waited, guarded, but curious, and I could see his lips curing into a small smile...it looked so attractive on him, that small little half smirk.

"I just wondered...if you could warn me before the next time you decide to ignore me for my own good. Just so I'm prepared." I looked at the bottle as I spoke, tracing the circle of the opening with my forefinger.

"That sounds fair enough." he was pressing his lips together to keep from laughing when I looked up.

"Thanks."

"Then can I have one answer in return?" he demanded.

"Sure...only one though."

"Tell me _one_ theory."

Shoot. "Nope; sorry not that one."

"You didn't limit, you just promised one answer," he reminded me.

"And you've broken promises yourself," I reminded him back.

"Just one theory- I won't laugh."

"Yes, you will." I was positive about that fact. He would laugh at me.

He looked down, and then glanced back up at me thought his long black lashes, his ocher eyes scorching.

"Please?" he breathed, leaning towards me.

I blinked and my mind went blank. 'My gosh; How did he do that! It's like he's got the eyes of a vampire or something! Shit!'

"Er, what?" I asked a bit dazed.

"Please, just tell me one- little- theory." His eyes still smoldered at me.

"Um, well, super powers?" Was he a hypnotist, too? Or was I just a hopeless pushover?

"That's not very creative." he scoffed.

"I'm sorry, that's all I really got," I said with a small smile.

"You're not even close." he teased.

"No powers?"

"Nope."

"And no radioactivity?"

"None."

"Well darn." I sighed playfully.

"Kryptonite doesn't bother me, either," he chuckled.

"You're not supposed to laugh, remember?" so he know his super heroes…neat.

He then struggled to compose his face.

"I'll figure you out eventually," I warned him.

"I wish you wouldn't try; Diana." he was being serious again.

"Why...?"

"What if I'm not a superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?" he smiled playfully, but his eyes were impenetrable. Usually the eyes told everything, but Edward had this power to shut off the window inside. I couldn't read him thoroughly.

"Oh," I said, as sever things he'd hinted suddenly fell into place. "I see." I gave what he said some thought.

"Do you?" His face was abruptly severe, as if he were afraid that he'd accidentally said too much.

"You're dangerous?" I guessed, my pulse quickened as I intuitively realized the truth of my own words. He _was_ dangerous. He'd been trying to tell me that all along.

He just looked at me, eyes full of some emotion I couldn't comprehend.

"Don't think that's really true." I whispered, shaking my head. "No, I refuse to believe that you're bad."

"You're wrong." his voice was almost impossible to hear. He looked down stealing my bottle lid and then spinning it on its side between his pale, long, slender fingers. I stared at him, wondering why I didn't feel afraid. He meant what he was saying- that was obvious. But I just felt worried, on edge at the most...but what's more I just felt spellbound by him. The same way I always felt near him. He seemed to make everything in my life seem so much more interesting.

The silence lasted until I noticed that the cafeteria was empty.

I jumped up to my feet my chair scooting back with a screech and I clenched my jaw tight...I hated that noise. "We're going to be late."

"I'm not going to class today," he said, twirling the lid so fast it was just a blur.

"How come?"

"It's healthy to ditch class now and then." He smiled up at me, but his eyes were still troubled.

"If lucky enough not to get caught."

He laughed "I never do."

"Well, I'm going." I told him. I was far too big of a coward to get caught.

He turned his attention back to his makeshift top. "I'll see you later, then."

I hesitated more than I already was, torn, but then the first bell sent me hurrying out the door- with a last glance confirming that he hadn't moved a centimeter.

As I half ran to class, my head was spinning faster than that bottle cap. So few questions had been answered in comparison to how many new questions had been raised.

At least the rain had stopped.

I was lucky; Mr. Banner wasn't in the room yet when I arrived. I settled quickly into my seat, aware that both Mike and Angela were staring at me. Mike looked resentful; Angela looked surprised and slightly overcome.

Mr. Banner came into the room then, calling the class to order. He was juggling a few small cardboard boxes in his arms. He put them down on Mike's table, telling him to start passing them around to the class.

"Alright, guys, I want you to all take on piece from each box," he said as he produced a pair of rubber gloves from the pocket of his lab jacket and pulled them on. The sharp sound as the gloves snapped into place against his wrists seemed threatening to me. "The first should be an indicator card," he went on, grabbing a white card with four squares marked on it and displaying it. "The second is a four-pronged applicator-," he held up something that looked like a nearly toothless hair pick. "- and the third is a sterile micro-needle." He held up a small piece of blue plastic and split it open. The barb was invisible from this distance, but my stomach flipped. These types of things were used for diabetes testing. I'd seen them on the health channel.

"I'll be coming around with a dropper of water to prepare your cards, so please don't start until I get to you," he began at Mike's table again, carefully putting one drop of water in each of the four squares. "Then I want you to carefully prick your finger with the needle..." he grabbed Mike's hand and jabbed the spike into the tip of Mike's middle finger. Oh no. Clammy moisture broke out across my forehead and my stomach twisted into a knot. I felt my jaw clench up and so did my fists.

"Put a small drop of blood on each of the prongs." He demonstrated, squeezing Mike's finger till the blood flowed. I swallowed convulsively, my stomach heaving. Needles; I extreme dislike them. I think what made me hate them the most was the pain they caused. I was a pansy when it came to pain.

"And then apply to the card," he finished, holding up the dripping red card for us to see. I closed my eyes.

"The Red Cross is having a blood drive in Port Angeles next weekend, so I thought you should all know your blood type." He sounded proud of himself. 'May not know my bloodtype; There is no way in hell am getting the freakin' needle near me.' I covered my face with my hands. "Those of you who aren't eighteen yet will need a parent's permission- I have slips at my desk."

He continued through the room with his water drops. I moved my hand putting my cheek against the cool black tabletop. I think it was about time for me to play sick. All around me I could hear squeals, complaints, and giggles as my classmates skewered their fingers. I breathed slowly through my mouth playing it up.

"Diana, are you alright?" Mr. Banner asked. His voice was close to my head, and it sounded alarmed. He took the bate; Thank god.

"I'm not feeling so good, Mr. Banner," I said in the weakest voice I could manage. It wasn't hard; I could feel my stomach starting to hurt. That happens when I was either really stressed or nervous. I just really hate needles and pain.

"Are you feeling faint?"

"A little." I muttered, mentally kicking myself for not ditching when I had the chance.

"Can someone take Diana to the nurse, please?" he called.

I didn't have to look up to know that it would be mike who volunteered.

"Can you walk?" Mr. Banner asked.

"Yes." I whispered. 'Just get me out of here!' I thought. Hell, I'll crawl if I have to.

Mike seemed eager as he put his arm around my waist and pulled my arm over his shoulder. I leaned against him heavily on the way out of the classroom still playing it up.

Mike towed me slowly across campus. When we were around the edge of the cafeteria, out of sight of building four in case Mr. Banner was watching, I stopped.

"Just let me sit for a moment, please." I asked.

He helped me sit on the edge of the walk, since it was kind of hard to get down on the ground. I slumped over on my side, putting my cheek against the freezing, damp cement of the side walk, closing my eyes. That seemed to help a little. I also seemed to be a lot warmer then normal people; the added heat from seeing the needles didn't help.

"Wow, you're crazy red; Diana," Mike said nervously.

"Diana?" a different voice called from the distance.

No! Please No! Let me be imagining his voice.

"What's wrong- is she hurt?" His voice was closer now, and he sounded upset. I wasn't imagining it. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping to die as I felt my brown hair fall over my face a bit. Or at the very least if I didn't die, I just didn't want to throw up...not in front of him.

Mike seemed stressed. "I think she's fainted. I don't know what happened; she didn't even stick her finger."

"Diana." Edward's voice was right beside me, relieved now. "Can you hear me?"

"Yes." I groaned. "Go away."

He chuckled.

"I was taking her to the nurse," Mike explained in a defensive tone. 'Please Mike don't start that now…' "But she wouldn't go any further." 'What? He making me sound like I refused or something…I just wanted to rest; dude.'

"I'll take her," Edward said. I could hear the smile still in his voice. "You can go back to class."

"No," Mike protested. "I'm supposed to do it."

Suddenly the sidewalk disappeared beneath me. My eyes flew open in shock. Edward had scooped me up in his arms, as easily if I weighed ten pounds instead of a hundred and sixty.

"Edward!" 'Please, please let me not vomit on him!' That's the last thing I needed. He was walking before I was finished talking.

"Hey!" Mike called; already pacing behind us.

Edward just ignored him. "You look awful," he told me, grinning.

"Please, Edward, put me down on the sidewalk," I groaned. The movement of his walking wasn't helping. He held me away from his body; gingerly supporting all the weight with just his arms- it didn't seem to bother him at all.

"So you faint at the sight of blood?" he asked. This seemed to entertain him.

"I didn't faint. My stomach is bugging me."

I closed my eyes and again fought the nausea with all my strength, clamping my lips together.

"And not even your own blood," he continued, enjoying himself.

"It wasn't the blood…"

"Then, what?" Still sounded amused.

"…..needles…."

I thought feel his body shack like he was trying not to laugh out loud. If my gut wasn't bugging me so badly; I would have give him a nice hard smack on his arm. I don't know how he opened the door while still carrying me, but it was suddenly warm, so I knew we where inside.

"Oh my," I heard a female voice gasp.

"She fainted in Biology," Edward explained.

I cracked my eyes open slightly. I was in the office, and Edward was striding past the front counter towards the nurse's door. The redheaded front receptionist ran ahead of him to hold it open. The grandmotherly nurse looked up from a novel, surprised, as Edward swung me into the room and placed me gently on the crackly paper that covered the brown vinyl mattress on the one cot. Then he moved to stand against the wall as far across the narrow room as possible. His eyes were bright, excited.

"She's just a little faint," he reassured the startled nurse. "They're blood typing in Biology."

The nurse nodded sagely. "There's always one."

He muffled a snicker.

"Just lie down for a minute, honey; it'll pass."

"Thank you" I sighed. I could already feel the nausea starting to pass.

"Does it happens a lot?" she asked.

"Sometimes..." I said. I wasn't in the mood to correct that it wasn't the blood; the needles are the cause of this. Edward then coughed to conceal another laugh.

"You can go back to class now," she told him.

"I'm supposed to stay with her." He said this with such assured authority that; even though she pursed her lips. The nurse didn't argue with him any further.

"I'll go get some ice for your forehead, dear," she said to me, and then bustled out of the room.

"You were right." I groaned, letting my eyes close.

"I usually am; but what about in particular this time?"

"Ditching _is_ healthy." I practiced breathing evenly...it kind of sounded like labor breathing.

"You scared me for a minute there," he admitted after a pause. His tone made it sound like he was confessing a humiliating weakness. I feel a twinge of pure happiness; He was worried about me.

"I thought Newton was dragging your dead body off to bury it in the woods."

"Ha Ha." I said sarcastically but couldn't contain my giggle. I still had my eyes closed, but I was feeling more normal every minute.

"Honestly- I've seen corpses with better color. I was concerned that I might have to avenger your murder." I felt the twinge again.

"Poor Mike. I'll beat he's mad."

"He absolutely loathes me," Edward said cheerfully. 'Edward's too cute.'

"You can't know that," I argued, but then suddenly wondered if he could.

"I saw his face; I could tell."

"How did you see me? I thought you were ditching?" I was almost fine now, though the queasiness would probably have passed faster if I'd eaten my chips or something at lunch, but instead I endured on an empty stomach. But on the other hand maybe it was lucky my stomach was empty. The last thing I need is to throw up in front of Edward.

"I was in my car, listening to a CD." Such a normal response; It surprised me.

I heard the door open and I opened my eyes to see the nurse with a cold compress in her hand.

"Here you go, dear." she laid it across my forehead. "You're looking a lot better." she added.

"I think I'm okay now." I said sitting up my long hair flowed down my back.

I could see she was about to make me lie back down, but the door opened just then, and the red-head stuck her head in.

"We've got another one," she warned.

I hopped down to free up the cot for the next invalid who felt like crap.

I handed the nurse the compress back. "Thank you, but I don't need this now."

Then Mike staggered through the door, now supporting a sallow-looking boy in our Biology class. Edward and I drew back against the wall to give them room.

"Oh no," Edward muttered. "Get out to the office, Diana."

I looked up at him, bewildered.

"Trust me; go."

I spun quickly and caught the door before it closed, darting out with a wave of my hair out of the infirmary. I could feel Edward right behind me. I then heard the sounds of vomiting; I quicken my pace.

"You actually listened to me." he was stunned.

"Yeah; why wouldn't I" I said, wrinkling my nose.

"What's wrong? Are you feeling sick again?"

"A little from the sound; it'll pass."

"You can still hear him?" he asked confused.

"Yeah; you mind if we go outside?"

"no."

He was then staring at me with a profound expression.

"What?" I asked.

"It's nothing."

Mike came through the door then, glancing from me to Edward. The look he gave Edward confirmed what Edward had said about loathing. He looked back at me in this accusing manner. It kind of put me off.

"You look better." he accused.

"yeah…" I said flatly.

"Are you going back to class?"

"No; I'd just end up turning around and have to come back here."

"Yeah, I guess...So are you going this weekend? To the beach?" While he spoke, he flashed another glare towards Edward, who was standing against the wall, motionless as a sculpture and staring off into space with a cute look on his handsome features.

I tried to sound as friendly as possibly. "Sure, I said I was in."

"We're meeting at my dad's store, at ten." His eyes flickered to Edward again, wondering if he was giving out too much information. His body language made it clear that it wasn't an open invitation.

"I'll be there," I promised. "I won't go back on my word, you know that."

"I'll see you in Gym, then, we might be having a free day, so we could go play soccer." He looked at me once more, his round face slightly pouting, and then he walked away slowly, and his shoulders slumped. A swell of sympathy washed over me. I pondered seeing his disappointed face in Gym.

"Great, another day to kick a ball in some by stander's face..." I groaned.

"I can take care of that." I hadn't noticed Edward moving to my side, but he spoke now in my ear. "Go sit down inside and look pale." he muttered.

I chuckled.

"Oh that'll be _easy_." and he chuckled too. This wasn't a challenge; I was always pale, and my recent swoon had left a light sheen of sweat on my face. I sat in one of the creaky folding chairs and rested my head against the wall with my eyes closed.

I then heard Edward speaking softly at the counter.

"Ms. Cope?"

"Yes?" I hadn't heard her return to her desk.

"Diana has Gym next hour, and I don't think she feels well enough. Actually I was thinking I should take her home now. Do you think you could excuse her from class?"

His voice was like melting honey. I could imagine how much overwhelming his eyes must be.

"Do you need to be excused, too, Edward?" Ms. Cope fluttered. Why couldn't I do that?

"No, I have Mrs. Goff, she won't mind in the slightest."

"Okay, it's all taken care of. You feel better Diana," she called to me.

I nodded weakly "thank you…" hamming it up just a bit.

"Can you walk, or do you want me to carry you again?" With his back to the receptionist, his expression became sarcastic.

"No thank you. I can walk."

I stood carefully, and I was fine. He held the door for me. My book bag on his shoulder; his smile was polite, but his eyes mocking. I walked out into the cold, fine mist that had just begun to fall. It felt soothing- I enjoyed the constant moisture falling out of the sky- as it washed over on my warm face.

"Thanks," I said as he followed me out. "This is almost worth getting sick to miss Gym."

"You don't like Gym?" he was staring straight forward, squinting into the rain.

"No." I said honestly. "So are you going? This Saturday, I mean?" I was hoping he would, though it seemed so unlikely. I couldn't picture him loading up to carpool with the rest of the kids from school; he didn't belong in the same world. 'He's too good for that.' But I still hoped.

"Where are you all going, exactly?" he asked still looking ahead, expressionless.

"Down to La Push, to First Beach." I studied his face trying to read it. His eyes seemed to narrow.

He glanced down at me from the corner of his eye, smiling dryly. "I really don't think; I was invited."

I sighed. "I'm inviting you."

"Let's you and I not push poor Mike any further this week. We wouldn't want him to snap now would we?" his eyes danced; he was enjoying the idea more than he should.

"Cha- He'll be fine." I muttered, lost in thought by the way he said "you and I." I liked it more than I should.

We were near the parking lot now. I turned towards my car. Something caught my jacket however and yanked me back. He was gripping a fistful of my jacket in one hand.

I was confused. "What?"

"Didn't you hear me promise to take you home safely? Do you think I'm going to let you drive in your condition?" His voice was still indignant.

"What condition, I'm walking, I feel fine. Besides what about my car?" I complained.

"I'll have Alice drop it off after school." he said dragging me towards his car now, pulling me by the jacket. It was all I could do to keep from falling backwards. He'd probably just drag me along the way if I did.

"Let go!" I insisted.

He ignored me. I staggered along sideways across the wet sidewalk, my boots clicking, until we finally reached his car. Then he finally freed me; I stumbled against the passenger door.

"You are so_ pushy_!" I grumbled.

"It's open." was all he responded. He got in the drivers side.

"I'm perfectly capable of driving myself home!"

It was raining harder now, and I'd never put my hood up, so my hair was now dripping down my back, some of it clinging to my face.

He lowered the automatic window and leaned towards me across the seat. "Get in, Diana."

I didn't answer. I was mentally calculating my chances of reaching my car with slipping on the concrete or before he could catch me. I had to admit, they weren't good odds.

"I'll just drag you back," he threatened, guessing my plan.

My eyes darted from him and then back to my car. For some reason I want to see him try. I playfully turned on heel and made a break for it. I hadn't gotten half way across the parking lot when two arms grabbed me and picked me up and I was swept into Edward's arms.

"Let me down!" I yelled and he just laughed as he spun around and led me back to the car. He opened the door of his car and then pushed me inside quickly shutting it and then got in the drivers seat himself.

I tried to maintain myself as well as I could. Though that failed miserably because I looked like a half drowned cat, and there was water in my boots.

"This is completely unnecessary; Can I please have my book bag?." I said awkwardly.

He didn't answer. He handed me my bag; then fiddled with the controls, turning the heater up and the music down. As he pulled out of the parking lot, I was prepared to give him the silent treatment- my face in full pout, even my arms were folded across my chest. I wasn't sure why I was doing this; I wasn't angry. Then I recognized the music playing, and my curiosity got the best of my intentions.

"Beethoven?" I asked, surprised.

"You know of his work?" He too sounded surprised.

"Not well," I admitted. "I just know my favorites."

"It's one of my favorite's too." he stared out through the rain, lost in his thoughts.

I listened to the music, relaxing against the light gray leather seat. It was impossible not to respond to the familiar soothing melody. I felt entirely safe, and at home. The rain blurred everything outside the window into gray and green smudges. I began to realize we were driving very fast; the car moved steadily, so evenly though, I didn't feel the speed. Only the town flashing by gave it away.

"What your mother like?" he asked me suddenly.

I glanced over to see him studying me with curiosity.

"She's a lot like me in the looks department, Different values though," I said. He raised his eyebrows. "To be honest I have too much of my father in me. My mom is more polite than I am, she's braver. She's very responsible, unselfish, very smart, and she's an amazing cook. She's my best friend. I wish I was more like her. " I sighed.

"How old are you, Diana?" his voice sounded frustrated for some reason and I couldn't imagine why. He stopped the car, and I realized we were at my house already. The rain was so heavy I could barely see my house at all. It was like the car was submerged under a river.

"I'm sixteen." I responded, a little confused.

"You don't seem sixteen."

His tone was a little reproachful; it made me laugh fully making the hurt I was just feeling kind of dissipate.

"What?" he asked; curious again.

"My mom always said I was stuck at the age of thirteen. She still can't believe how I can love cartoon so much." I laughed more.

I then paused for a second. "Maybe she's right… I should grow up…"

"I don't think so."

I looked at surprised.

"You may like childish things but you seem very mature." The way he said that made me think he meant it.

"Thanks; but you're wrong…"

"Am I?"

I tried to change the subject off of me.

''You don't seem much like junior in high school yourself," I noted.

He made a face; now he changed the subject.

"So what are your sibling name?"

I was surprised he had even remembered that I hadn't told him that little detail. I'd mentioned her only two months ago to him. It took me a moment to answer.

" My little sister's name is Vanessa." I said looking down a bit.

"Are you Spanish?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm a full Cuban."

"Really…you don't look it." This sounded more a statement then a question.

"You think so?" I asked.

"Yes, why is that?" He said, sounding curious again.

"Does that really matter?" I countered. "It's not uncommon."

"Not really." he said silkily. "I'd just like to know."

"Well, I spent most of my time indoor."

"Why?" he smiled a bit.

"I don't really like the out doors… I mean it's nice to be outside for a while but I really prefer in be inside." I sounded like I was babbling; like I was embarrassed by be an indoors kind of person.

"And why is that?" He didn't sound anxious by what I said so I continued.

"I'm really lazy…" I admitted. This made him laugh; I just looked down at my feet embarrassed;

"I'm sorry; that was rude. I've just never met anyone who would admit to being lazy. It's brave even."

"How does your mother feel about your laziness?" I think he was suppressing another laugh.

"She hates it; of course. But she trys not to bug me about it."

"She trys?"

"She wants me to be happy; But she also wants me to healthy." I took a small glace at my medium sized gut.

"How does she feel about men?"

I looked at him confused. "What do you mean?"

"Let me rephrase; how does she feel about you dating?"

"I think; she's okay with it."

"I see; But no boys with multiple facial piercing and extensive tattoos?"

"She wouldn't care; she'd just hope I was happy. I think a guy like that would scare her a little bit. What about you; how would your family feel?"

But he ignored my question and asked me another. "Do you think that _I_ could be scary?" he raised one eyebrow, and the faint trace of a smile lightened his face.

I thought for a moment, wondering whether the truth or a lie would go over better. I decided to go with the truth.

"Hmm...I think you_ could _be if you wanted to."

"Are you frightened of me now?" the smile then vanished and his heavenly face was suddenly serious.

"No." I answered. His face was still serious.

"So, now are you going to tell me about your family?" I asked to distract him. "It's got to be a much more interesting story than mine."

He was instantly cautious. "What do you want to know?"

"The Cullens adopted you?" I verified.

"Yes."

I hesitated for a moment. "What happened to your parents?"

"They died many years ago." his tone was a matter-of-fact.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. Now I felt bad. Maybe I shouldn't have asked.

"I don't really remember them that clearly. Carlisle and Esme have been my parents for a long time now."

"And you love them." It wasn't a question. It was obvious by the way he spoke of them.

"Yes." he smiled. "I couldn't imagine two better people." That made me smile.

"You're lucky you have them." I fiddled with the sleeve of my jacket in anxiety.

"I know I am."

"And your brothers and sisters?"

He glanced at the clock on the dashboard.

"My brothers and sisters, and Jasper and Rosalie for that matter, are going to be quite upset if the have to stand in the rain waiting for me."

"Oh, sorry, I guess you have to go." I didn't want to get out of the car now. Irony had just then bit me in the butt.

"And you probably want your car back before your mother gets home, so you don't have to tell her about the Biology incident." he grinned at me.

"I'm sure she's already heard. There's no secrets here in Forks is there?" I sighed.

He laughed, and there was an edge to his laughter.

"Have fun at the beach...good weather for sunbathing." he glanced out at the sheeting rain.

"Won't I see you tomorrow?"

"No. Emmet and I are starting the weekend early."

"What are you going to do?" A friend could ask that, right? I hoped the disappointment wasn't too exposed in my soft voice.

"We're going hiking in the Goat Rocks Wilderness, just south of Rainier."

I remembered Mom saying that the Cullens took camping trips every other weekend.

"Oh, well, have fun." I tried to sound a bit enthusiastic. I don't think I fooled him though. A smile was playing around the edge of his lips.

"Will you do something for me this weekend?" he turned to look me straight in the face, unleashing the full power of his golden eyes.

I nodded helplessly.

"Don't be offended, but you just seem to be one of those people who just attract accidents like a magnet. So...please…try not to fall into the ocean or get run over or anything, all right?" he smiled crookedly.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"I'll see what I can do, I can't really make promises on that you know." I sighed as I jumped out into the rain. I closed the door behind me.

I could tell though he was still smiling as he drove away.


	7. Chapter 6 Scary stories on the waves

Chapter 6

Scary stories on the waves

As I sat in the guest room in front of the computer, trying to comprehend what happen today with Edward, I was in that room because I was listening for my truck. I would have thought, even over the pounding rain, I could have heard the engine's roar. But when I went to peek out the curtain; again…it was suddenly there.

I looked at my car surprised; "what the?" I didn't even remember giving Edward my keys.

I wasn't looking forward to Friday and it more than lived up to my expectations. Of course there were the fainting comments. Jessica especially seemed to get a kick out of that story. Luckily Mike had kept his mouth shut, and no one seemed to know about Edward's involvement. She did have a lot of questions about lunch, though.

"So what did Edward Cullen want yesterday?" Jessica asked in Trig.

"I don't know," I answered truthfully. "He never really got to the point."

"You looked kind of mad," she fished.

"Did I?"

"You know, I've never seen him sit with anyone but his family before. That was weird."

"Very," I agreed. She seemed annoyed; she flipped her dark curls impatiently; I guessed she'd been hoping to hear something that would make a good story for her to pass on.

The worst part about Friday was that, even though I knew he wasn't going to be there, I still hoped. When I walked into the cafeteria with Jessica and Mike, I couldn't keep from looking at his table, where Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper sat talking, and heads close together. Amazing how in one day my feeling about him completely changed. From dreading the sight of him; to wanting to see him so badly. I couldn't stop the despair that swallowed me up as I realized I didn't know how long I would have to wait before I saw him again.

At my usual table, everyone was full of our plans for the next day. Mike was animated again, putting a great deal of trust in the local weatherman who promised sun tomorrow. I'd have to see that before I believed it. But it was warmer today; maybe the trip wouldn't have to be canceled from rain after all.

I caught a few unfriendly looks from Lauren during lunch, which I didn't understand until we were all walking out of the room together. I was right behind her, just a foot from her slick, silver blond hair, and she was obviously uninformed of that.

"…don't know why _Diana"_ she sneered my name "doesn't just sit with the Cullens from now on."

I heard her speak softly to Mike. I'd never noticed what an unpleasant, nasal voice she had, and I was surprised by the spite in it. I really didn't know her much at all, certainly not enough for her to dislike me or so I'd thought.

"She's my friend; she sits with us," Mike whispered back loyally, but also a bit territorially. I paused to let Jess and Angela pass me. I didn't want to hear any more.

That night at dinner, Mom seemed excited about my trip to La Push's beach in the morning. She seemed to approve. I think she felt guilty for leaving me home alone most weekends, but she is still new at her job; so they couldn't give her Sundays off; she used to have all of the weekend off back in Florida. I think the only reason they gave her Saturdays off was because of her religion. I wondered if she would approve of my plan to get a ride to La Push with Edward. Not that I was going to tell her.

"Mom, do you know a place called Goat Rocks or something like that? I think its south of Mount Rainier," I asked curiously.

"No…Why?"

I shrugged. "Some kids were talking about camping there."

"Oh…"

I meant to sleep in, but an unusual brightness woke me. I opened my eyes to see a clear yellow light streaming through my window. I couldn't believe it. I hurried to the window to check, and sure enough, there was the sun. It was in the wrong place in the sky, too low, and it didn't seem to be as close as it should be, but it was definitely the sun. Clouds ringed the horizon, but a large patch of blue was visible in the middle.

The Newton's Olympic Outfitters store was just north of town. I'd seen the store, but I'd never stopped there. Mom and I never had much need for any supplies required for being outdoors over an extended period of time. In the parking lot I recognized Mike's and Tyler's car. As I pulled up next to their vehicles, I could see the group standing around in front of Mike's car. Eric was there, along with two other boys I had class with; I was fairly sure their names were Ben and Conner. Jess was there; along her side were Angela and Lauren. Three other girls stood with them, including one I remembered falling over in Gym on Friday. That one gave me a dirty look as I got out of the truck, and whispered something to Lauren. Lauren shook out her hair and eyed me mockingly. So it was going to be like that, was it? I think I can handle mean girls like them; and if things really got the bad I could call mom to get me.

'At least Mike is happy to see me.' I thought as finished parking my car.

"You came!" he called, delighted. "And I said it would be sunny today, didn't I?"

"I told you I was coming," I reminded him.

"We're just waiting for Lee and Samantha… unless you invited someone," Mike added.

"Nope," I lied lightly; hoping… no, more that I was wishing that a miracle would occur and Edward would appear.

Mike looked satisfied.

"Will you ride in my car? It's that or Lee's mom's minivan."

"Sure."

He smiled delightfully. It was so easy to make Mike happy.

"You can have shotgun," he promised. I hid my disappointment. It wasn't as simple to make Mike and Jessica happy at the same time. I could see Jessica scowling at us now.

The numbers worked out in my favor, though. Lee brought two extra people, and suddenly every seat was necessary. I managed to wedge Jess in between Mike and me in the front seat of his car. Mike could have been more graceful about it, but at least Jess seemed happy.

It was only fifteen miles to La Push from Forks, with gorgeous, dense green forests edging the road most of the way and the wide Quileute River snaking beneath it twice. I was glad I had the window seat. We'd rolled the windows down; the car was a bit cramped with nine people in it; it got really warm. So I tried to enjoy the breeze as much as possible.

I'd been to the beaches around Florida many times during my summer breaks with Mom; I wondered how different the beaches would be. It was breathtaking. The water was dark gray, even in the sunlight, white-capped and heaving to the gray, rocky shore. Islands rose out of the steel harbor waters with sheer cliff sides, reaching to uneven summits, and crowned with austere, soaring firs. The beach had only a thin border of actual sand at the water's edge, after which it grew into millions of large, smooth stones that looked uniformly gray from a distance, but close up were every shade a stone could be; terra-cotta, sea green, lavender, blue gray, dull gold. The tide line was strewn with huge driftwood trees, bleached bone white in the salt waves, some piled together against the edge of the forest fringe, some lying solitary, just out of reach of the waves.

There was a brisk wind coming off the waves, cool and briny. Pelicans floated on the swells while seagulls and a lone eagle wheeled above them. The clouds still circled the sky, threatening to invade at any moment, but for now the sun shone bravely in its halo of blue sky.

We picked our way down to the beach, Mike leading the way to a ring of driftwood logs that had obviously been used for parties like ours before. There was a fire circle already in place, filled with black ashes. Eric and the boy I thought was named Ben gathered broken branches of driftwood from the drier piles against the forest edge, and soon had a teepee-shaped creation built atop the old cinders.

"Have you ever seen a driftwood fire?" Mike asked me. I was sitting on one of the bone-colored benches; the other girls came together, gossiping excitedly, on either side of me. Mike kneeled by the fire, lighting one of the smaller sticks with a cigarette lighter.

"No," I said as he placed the blazing twig carefully against the teepee.

"You'll like this then; watch the colors." He lit another small branch and laid it alongside the first. The flames started to lick quickly up the dry wood.

"It's blue!" I said in surprise.

"The salt, does it. Pretty, isn't it?" He lit one more piece, placed it where the fire hadn't yet caught, and then came to sit by me.

Thankfully, Jess was on his other side. She turned to him and claimed his attention. I watched the strange blue and green flames crackle toward the sky.

After a half hour of chatter, some of the boys wanted to hike to the nearby tidal pools. It was a dilemma. On the one hand, I had never seen a tide pools before. They sounded interesting; on the other hand, I could also fall into them. It reminded me of Edward's request; that I not fall into the ocean.

Lauren was the one who made my decision for me. She didn't want to hike, and she was definitely wearing the wrong shoes for it. Most of the other girls besides Angela and Jessica decided to stay on the beach as well. I waited until Tyler and Eric had committed to remaining with them before I got up quietly to join the pro-hiking group. Mike gave me a huge smile when he saw that I was coming.

The hike wasn't too long, though I hated to walk for a long time. So shortness of it made me happy. The green light of the forest was strangely at odds with the teenage laughter, too murky and ominous to be in harmony with the light banter around me. I had to watch each step I took very carefully, avoiding roots below and branches above, and I soon fell behind. Eventually I broke through the emerald confines of the forest and found the rocky shore again. It was low tide, and a tidal river flowed past us on its way to the sea. Along its pebbled banks, shallow pools that never completely drained were teeming with life.

I was very careful not to lean too far over the little ocean ponds. The others were fearless, leaping over the rocks, perching dangerously on the edges. I found a very stable-looking rock on the fringe of one of the largest pools and sat there warily; spellbound by the natural aquarium below me.

The bouquets of brilliant anemones undulated ceaselessly in the invisible current, twisted shells scurried about the edges, obscuring the crabs within them, starfish stuck motionless to the rocks and each other, while one small black eel with white racing stripes wove through the bright green weeds, waiting for the sea to return. I was completely absorbed; except for one small part of my mind that wondered what Edward was doing now. Trying to imagine what he would be saying if he were here with me. He would say "And I thought you said you were an indoor and lazy person?" He then would be smiling in a teasing way. The thought made me smile happily and giggle to myself.

Finally the boys got hungry, and I got up stiffly to follow them back. I tried to keep up better this time. Through the woods, so naturally I fell once. I got some shallow scrapes on my palms, and the knees of my cotton pants were stained green, but it could have been worse.

When we got back to First Beach, the group we'd left behind had multiplied. As we got closer we could see the shining, straight black hair and copper skin of the newcomers, teenagers from the reservation come to socialize. I thought I knew one of them.

The food was already being passed around, and the boys hurried to claim a share while Eric introduced us as we each entered the driftwood circle. Angela and I were the last to arrive, and, as Eric said our names, I noticed a younger boy sitting on the stones near the fire, glancing up at me in interest. It was Jacob; the second I saw him a big smile went across my face. I waved at him and he waved back grinning. I sat down next to Angela, and Mike brought us sandwiches and an array of sodas to choose from; I grabbed a can of dr. pepper. A boy who looked to be the oldest of the visitors rattled off the names of the seven others with him. All I caught was that one of the girls was also named Jessica, and of course Jacob.

It was relaxing to sit with Angela; she was a restful kind of person to be around; she didn't feel the need to fill every silence with chatter. She left me free to think undisturbed while we ate. And I was thinking about how disorderly time seemed to flow in Forks, passing in a blur at times, with single images standing out more clearly than others. And then, at other times, every second was significant, etched in my mind. I knew exactly what caused the difference, and it troubled me.

During lunch the clouds started to advance, slinking across the blue sky, darting in front of the sun momentarily, casting long shadows across the beach, and blackening the waves. As they finished eating, people started to drift away in twos and threes. Some walked down to the edge of the waves, trying to skip rocks across the choppy surface. Others were gathering a second expedition to the tide pools. Mike with Jessica shadowing him; headed up to the one shop in the village. Some of the local kids went with them; others went along on the hike. By the time they all had scattered; I was sitting alone on my driftwood log. Lauren and Tyler occupied themselves by the CD player someone had thought to bring, and three teenagers from the reservation perched around the circle, including Jacob and the oldest boy who had acted as spokesperson.

A few minutes after Angela left with the hikers, Jacob strolled over to take her place by my side.

I really didn't think about it before but, Jake looked fourteen, maybe fifteen. He had has long, glossy black hair pulled back with a rubber band at the nape of his neck. His skin was beautiful, silky and russet-colored; his eyes were dark, set deep above the high planes of his cheekbones. He still had just a hint of childish roundness left around his chin. Altogether, a very pretty face.

"Hi…"

"Hi; Jake." I smiled and he smiled back.

"So, how's the truck treating you?"

"I love it. It runs great."

"Yeah, but it's really slow," he laughed. "I was so relieved when your Mom bought it. My dad wouldn't let me work on building another car when we had a perfectly good vehicle right there."

"It's not that slow," I objected.

"Have you tried to go over sixty?"

"No," I admitted.

"Good. Don't." He grinned.

I couldn't help to but grin back. "It does great in an accident," I offered in my truck's defense.

"I don't think a tank could take out that old monster," he agreed with another laugh.

"So you build cars?" I asked, impressed.

"When I have free time, and parts. You wouldn't happen to know where I could get my hands on a master cylinder for a 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit?" he added jokingly. He had a pleasant, husky voice.

"Sorry," I laughed, "I haven't seen any lately, but I'll keep my eyes open for you." As if I knew what that was. Jake was always so easy to talk with.

He flashed a brilliant smile, looking at me appreciatively in a way I was learning to recognize. I wasn't the only one who noticed.

"You know Diana, Jacob?" Lauren asked; in what I imagined was an insolent tone, from across the fire.

"We met when she first moved here." he laughed, smiling at me again.

"How nice." She didn't sound like she thought it was nice at all, and her pale, fishy eyes narrowed.

"Diana," she called again, watching my face carefully, "I was just saying to Tyler that it was too bad none of the Cullens could come out today. Didn't anyone think to invite them?" Her expression of concern was unconvincing and unbecoming.

"You mean Dr. Carlisle Cullen's family?" the tall, older boy asked before I could respond, much to Lauren's irritation. He was really closer to a man than a boy, and his voice was very deep.

"Yes, do you know them?" she asked scornfully, turning halfway toward him.

"The Cullens don't come here," he said in a tone that closed the subject, ignoring her question.

Tyler, trying to win back her attention, asked Lauren's opinion on a CD he held. She was distracted.

I stared at the deep-voiced boy surprised; but he was looking away toward the dark forest behind us. He'd said that the Cullens didn't come here, but his tone had implied something more like they weren't allowed; they were prohibited. His manner left a strange impression on me; I tried to ignore it without success.

Jacob interrupted my thought. "So is Forks driving you insane yet?"

"Oh, I'd say that's an understatement." I grimaced. He grinned understandingly.

I was still turning over the brief comment on the Cullens, and I had a sudden inspiration. It was a stupid plan, but I didn't have any better ideas. I hoped that Jake was as yet inexperienced around girls, so that he wouldn't see through my sure-to-be-pitiful attempts at flirting.

"Do you want to walk down the beach with me?" I asked, trying to copy that way Edward had of looking up from underneath his eyelashes. It couldn't have nearly the same effect; I was sure. But Jacob jumped up willingly enough.

As we walked north across the colorful stones toward the driftwood seawall, the clouds finally closed ranks across the sky, causing the sea to darken and the temperature to drop. I shoved my hands deep into the pockets of my jacket.

"So you're what, sixteen?" I asked, trying not to look like an idiot as I fluttered my eyelids the way I'd seen girls do on TV and movies.

"I just turned fifteen," he confessed, flattered.

"Really?" My face was full of false surprise. "I would have thought you were older."

"I'm tall for my age," he explained.

"Have you come up to Forks much after having dinner at my house?" I asked archly, as if I was hoping for a yes. I sounded idiotic to myself. I was afraid he would turn on me with disgust and accuse me of my fraud, but he still seemed flattered.

"Not too much," he admitted with a frown. "But when I get my car finished I can go up as much as I want; after I get my license," he amended.

"Cool," I smiled.

"Who was that other boy Lauren was talking to? He seemed a little old to be hanging out with us." Trying to make it clear that I preferred to be with Jacob; which I really did.

"That's Sam; he's nineteen," he informed me.

"What was that he was saying about the doctor's family?" I asked innocently.

"The Cullens? Oh, they're not supposed to come onto the reservation." He looked away, out toward an Island, as he confirmed what I'd thought I'd heard in Sam's voice.

"Why not?"

He glanced back at me, biting his lip. "Oops. I'm not supposed to say anything about that."

"Oh, I won't tell anyone, I'm just curious." I tried to make my smile appealing, wondering if I was laying it on too thick.

He smiled back, though, looking appealed. Then he lifted one eyebrow and his voice was even huskier than before.

"Do you like scary stories?" he asked ominously.

"I _love_ them," I enthused, making an effort to smolder at him. I really didn't mind scary stories; but get me to watch a scary movie and I will be freaked out by it for whole a week. After watching the grudge, I was so scared to even take a shower; that's how freaked out I was.

Jacob strolled to a nearby driftwood tree that had its roots sticking out like the attenuated legs of a huge, pale spider. He perched lightly on one of the twisted roots while I sat beneath him on the body of the tree. He stared down at the rocks, a smile hovering around the edges of his broad lips. I could see he was going to try to make this good. I focused on keeping the vital interest I felt out of my eyes.

"Do you know any of our old stories; about where we came from? The Quileutes, I mean?" he began.

"Not really," I admitted.

"Well, there are lots of legends, some of them claiming to date back to the Flood; supposedly, the ancient Quileutes tied their canoes to the tops of the tallest trees on the mountain to survive like Noah and the ark." He smiled, to show me how little stock he put in the histories. "Another legend claims that we descended from wolves; and that the wolves are our brothers still. It's against tribal law to kill them.

"Then there are the stories about the _cold ones_." His voice dropped a little lower.

"The cold ones?" I asked, not faking my intrigue now. Intensely the word vampire flashed in my mind.

"Yes. There are stories of the cold ones as old as the wolf legends, and some much more recent. According to legend, my own great-grandfather knew some of them. He was the one who made the treaty that kept them off our land." He rolled his eyes.

"Your great-grandfather?" I encouraged.

"He was a tribal elder, like my father. You see, the cold ones are the natural enemies of the wolf; well, not the wolf, really, but the wolves that turn into men, like our ancestors. You would call them werewolves."

"Werewolves have enemies?"

"Only one."

I stared at him seriously, hoping to mask my impatience as admiration.

"So you see," Jacob continued, "the cold ones are traditionally our enemies. But this pack that came to our territory during my great-grandfather's time was different. They didn't hunt the way others of their kind did; they weren't supposed to be dangerous to the tribe. So my great-grandfather made a truce with them. If they would promise to stay off our lands, we wouldn't expose them to the pale-faces." He winked at me.

"If they weren't dangerous, then why… ?" I tried to understand, struggling not to let him see how seriously I was considering his ghost story.

"There's always a risk for humans to be around the cold ones, even if they're civilized like this clan was. You never know when they might get too hungry to resist." He intentionally worked a thick edge of menace into his tone.

"What do you mean by, 'civilized'?"

"They claimed that they didn't hunt humans. They supposedly were somehow able to prey on animals instead."

I tried to keep my voice casual. "So how does it fit in with the Cullens? Are they like the cold ones your great grandfather met?"

"No." He paused dramatically. "They are the _same_ ones."

He must have thought the expression on my face was fear inspired by his story. He smiled, pleased, and continued.

"There are more of them now; a new female and a new male, but the rest are the same. In my great-grandfather's time they already knew of the leader, Carlisle. He'd been here and gone before _your_ people had even arrived." He was fighting a smile.

"And what are they?" I finally asked. "What _are_ the cold ones?"

He smiled darkly.

"Blood drinkers," he replied in a chilling voice. "Your people call them vampires." So I was right…

I stared out at the rough surf after he answered, not sure what my face was exposing.

"You have goose bumps," he laughed delightedly.

"You're a good storyteller," I complimented him, still staring into the waves.

"Pretty crazy stuff, though, isn't it? No wonder my dad doesn't want us to talk about it to anyone."

I couldn't control my expression enough to look at him yet. "Don't worry, I won't give you away."

"I guess I just violated the treaty," he laughed.

"I'll take it to the grave," I promised, I shivered at the word grave.

"Seriously, though, don't say anything to your Mom. She was pretty mad at my dad when she heard that some of us weren't going to the hospital since Dr. Cullen started working there."

"I won't, of course not."

"So do you think we're a bunch of superstitious natives or what?" he asked in a playful tone, but with a hint of worry. I still hadn't looked away from the ocean.

I turned and smiled at him as normally as I could.

"No. I think you're very good at telling scary stories, though. I still have goose bumps, see?" I held up my arm.

"Cool." He smiled.

And then the sound of the beach rocks clattering against each other warned us that someone was approaching. Our heads snapped up at the same time to see Mike and Jessica about fifty yards away, walking toward us.

"There you are, Diana," Mike called in relief, waving his arm over his head.

"Is that your boyfriend?" Jacob asked, alerted by the jealous edge in Mike's voice. I was surprised it was so obvious.

"No, definitely not," I whispered. I was tremendously grateful to Jacob, and eager to make him as happy as possible. I winked at him, carefully turning away from Mike to do so. He smiled, elated by my inept flirting. 'Jake I'm so sorry…' I couldn't believe what I had just done; Jake is so nice.

"So when I get my license…" he began.

"You should come see me again. We could hang out sometime." I felt guilty as I said this, knowing that I'd used him. I really did like Jacob. I'm so glad we were friends; He really is someone I could easily be friends with.

Mike had reached us now, with Jessica still a few paces back. I could see his eyes appraising Jacob, and looking satisfied at his obvious youth.

"Where have you been?" he asked, though the answer was right in front of him.

"Jacob was just telling me some local stories," I volunteered. "It was really interesting."

I smiled at Jacob warmly, and he grinned back.

"Well," Mike paused, carefully reassessing the situation as he watched our display of companionship. "We're packing up; it looks like it's going to rain soon."

We all looked up at the glowering sky. It certainly did look like rain.

"Okay." I jumped up. "I'm coming."

"It was nice to see you _again_," Jacob said, and I could tell he was taunting Mike just a bit.

"It really was. Maybe next time Mom and Me can come down to see you and Billy." I promised.

His grin stretched across his face. "That would be cool."

"And thanks," I added earnestly.

I pulled up my hood as we tramped across the rocks toward the parking lot. A few drops were beginning to fall, making black spots on the stones where they landed. When we got to the car the others were already loading everything back in. I crawled into the backseat by Angela and Tyler, announcing that I'd already had my turn in the shotgun position. Angela just stared out the window at the growing storm, and Lauren twisted around in the middle seat to occupy Tyler's attention, so I could simply lay my head back on the seat and close my eyes and try very hard to fall asleep so I wouldn't think about…the cold ones.


	8. Chapter 7 Nightmares and Fantasies

Chapter 7

Nightmares and Fantasies

Once I got home; I told Mom I had a lot of homework to do, and that I didn't want anything to eat. She was distracted by the TV; so she wasn't aware of anything unusual in my face or tone.

As soon as I was in my room, I locked the door. I dug through my desk where my TV sat; until I found my headphones. It was still plugged into my little CD player. I picked up a CD by Within Temptation, hitting play and turned up the volume until it hurt my ears. I closed my eyes, but the light still broke in, so I moved my arms to cover top half of my face.

I concentrated very carefully on the music, trying to understand the lyrics, to unravel the complicated drum patterns. By the third time I'd listened through the CD, I knew all the words to the choruses, at least.

And it worked. The shattering beats made it impossible for me to think; which was the whole purpose of the exercise. I listened to the CD again and again, until I was singing along with all the songs, until, finally, I fell asleep.

I opened my eyes dreamily to a familiar place. Aware in some corner of my consciousness that I was dreaming; it had been awhile since I lucid dreamed. I recognized the green light of the forest. I could hear the waves crashing against the rocks somewhere nearby. And I knew that if I found the ocean, I'd be able to see the sun. I was trying to follow the sound, but then Jacob was there, tugging on my hand, pulling me back toward the blackest part of the forest.

"Jacob? What's wrong?" I asked. His face was frightened as he yanked with all his strength against my resistance; I didn't want to go into the dark.

"Run, Diana, you have to run!" he whispered, terrified.

"This way, Diana!" I recognized Mike's voice calling out of the gloomy heart of the trees, but I couldn't see him.

"Why?" I asked, still pulling against Jacob's grasp, desperate now to find the light.

But Jacob let go of my hand and yelped, suddenly shaking, falling to the dim forest floor. He twitched on the ground as I watched in horror.

"Jacob!" I screamed. But he was gone. In his place was a large brown wolf with black eyes. The wolf faced away from me, pointing toward the shore, the hair on the back of his shoulders bristling, low growls issuing from between his exposed fangs.

"Diana, run!" Mike cried out again from behind me. But I didn't turn. I was watching a light coming toward me from the beach.

And then Edward stepped out from the trees, his skin faintly glowing, and his eyes black and dangerous. He held up one hand and beckoned me to come to him. The wolf growled at my feet.

I took a step forward, toward Edward. He smiled then, and his teeth were sharp, pointed. A pair of long fangs shined in the light.

"Trust me," he purred.

I took another step.

"That's a good girl," He purred again.

The wolf launched himself across the space between me and the vampire, fangs aiming to him.

"No, stop!" I screamed

But like a flash the whole scene changed; I was in my room. I wore a red long night gown; sitting on my bed. The light from cantles filled the room; black and red silk sheets covered my bed. I was able to remember; this setting. It was one of my fantasies I had with Edward. I would always wait for him at the bed; He come from my door bear chest; and in the end we made love. But something was different the window was open; the wind blowing out the candles nearest to it. Till only the few candles near me were still lit.

I then heard movement come from the window; I turned to look but saw nothing. A few seconds passed; then Edward appeared from the shadows he wore dark clothing with a black and red cape.

"hello," He said as his red eyes glowed in the dark.

I smiled not feeling afraid at all; I was just happy to see him as I always was in this dream.

He walked slowly to me; then holding my face in his hands kissed my lips tenderly. He pressed his body against mine; making me lie down the bed. He kissed my neck as one of his hands moved over my body. And I thought my dream was going back to normal; I heard his lips part. Seeing fangs from the corner of my eye; my eyes widen as he sunk his teeth into my neck.

"NO!" I screamed, wrenching upright out of my bed.

My sudden movement caused me to push the CD player off the bed and it clattered to the wooden floor.

My light was still on, and I was sitting fully dressed on the bed, with my shoes on. I glanced, confused, at the clock on my dresser. It was five-thirty in the morning.

I groaned, fell back, and rolled over onto my face, kicking off my boots. I was too uncomfortable to get anywhere near sleep, though. I rolled back over and unbuttoned my pants, yanking them off awkwardly as I tried to stay horizontal. I could feel the braid in my hair, an uncomfortable ridge along the back of my skull. I turned onto my side and ripped the rubber band out, quickly combing through it with my fingers. I pulled the pillow back over my eyes.

It was all no use, of course. My subconscious had got exactly the images I'd been trying so desperately to avoid. I was going to have to face them now.

I sat up, and my head spun for a minute as my blood flowed downward. First things first, I thought to myself, happy to put it off as long as possible. I walked over to the bathroom.

The shower didn't last nearly as long as I hoped it would, though. Even taking the time to wash my hair, I was soon out of things to do in the bathroom. Wrapped in a towel, I went back to my room. I couldn't tell if Mom was still asleep, or if she had already left. I went to look out my window, and the van was gone.

I dressed slowly in my most comfy clothes and then made my bed; something I never did. I couldn't put it off any longer. I lied down on my bed closed my eyes. I then went over what I already knew about vampires. They drunk human blood, they're immoral, they had no heartbeats, they were killed by a stab though the heart or by sunlight and they slept in coffins in the daytime.

I decided that I would find out more. I went to the guest room and switched on my old computer.

Aol's dialing up took so long that I went to go get myself a bowl of cereal while I waited.

I ate slowly, when I was done, I washed the bowl and spoon, dried them, and put them away. My feet dragged as I climbed the stairs. I went to my CD player first, picking it up off the floor then grabbing the headphones heading back to the computer. I place the CD player in the center of the table. I pulled out the headphones, and put them back over my ears. Then I turned the same CD on, turning it down to the point where it was background noise.

With another sigh, I turned to my computer. I sat in my chair and began my favorite search engine. I then typed in one word.

_Vampire._

It took an annoyingly long time, of course. When the results came up, there was a lot to sift through; everything from movies and TV shows to role-playing games, underground metal, and gothic cosmetic companies.

Then I found a promising site; Vampires A—Z. I waited impatiently for it to load; finally the screen was finished. Simple white background with black text, academic-looking. Two quotes greeted me on the home page:

_Throughout the vast shadowy world of ghosts and demons there is no figure so terrible, no figure so dreaded and abhorred, yet delight with such fearful fascination, as the vampire, who is himself neither ghost nor demon, but yet who partakes the dark natures and possesses the mysterious and terrible qualities of both. — Rev. Montague Summers_

_If there is in this world a well-attested account, it is that of the vampires. Nothing is lacking: official reports, affidavits of well-known people, of surgeons, of priests, of magistrates; the judicial proof is most complete. And with all that, who is there who believes in vampires? — Rousseau_

The rest of the site was an alphabetized listing of all the different myths of vampires held throughout the world. The first I clicked on, the _Danag_, was a Filipino vampire supposedly responsible for planting taro on the islands long ago. The myth continued that the _Danag_ worked with humans for many years, but the partnership ended one day when a woman cut her finger and a _Danag_ sucked her wound, enjoying the taste so much that it drained her body completely of blood.

I read carefully through the descriptions, looking for anything that sounded familiar, let alone believable. It seemed that most vampire myths centered on beautiful women as demons and children as victims; they also seemed like constructs created to explain away the high mortality rates for young children, and to give men an excuse for infidelity. Many of the stories involved bodiless spirits and warnings against improper burials. There wasn't much that sounded like the movies I'd seen, and only a very few, like the Hebrew _Estrie_ and the Polish _Upier_, who were even preoccupied with drinking blood.

Only three entries really caught my attention: the Romanian _Varacolaci_, a powerful undead being who could appear as a beautiful, pale-skinned human, the Slovak _Nelapsi_, a creature so strong and fast it could massacre an entire village in the single hour after midnight, and one other, the _Stregoni benefici_.

About this last there was only one brief sentence.

_Stregoni benefici: An Italian vampire, said to be on the side of goodness, and a mortal enemy of all evil vampires._

It was a relief, that one small entry, the one myth among hundreds that claimed the existence of good vampires.

Overall, though, there was little that matched with Jacob's stories or my own observations. I'd made a little catalogue on a piece of paper as I'd read and carefully compared it with each myth. Speed, strength, beauty, pale skin, eyes that shift color; and then Jacob's and my conditions: blood drinkers, enemies of the werewolf, cold-skinned, and immortal. There were very few myths that matched even one factor.

And then another problem, one that I'd remembered from my recalling on the bed and I'd also seen in some of my favorite movies and animes; also was backed up by today's reading. Vampires couldn't come out in the daytime, the sun would burn them to a cinder. They slept in coffins all day and came out only at night.

Irritated, I snapped off the computer's main power switch, not waiting to shut things down properly. Through my irritation, I felt overwhelming embarrassment. It was all so stupid. I was sitting in the guest room, researching vampires. What was wrong with me? I decided that most of the blame belonged on my silly fantasies about vampires. How I used to think it would be cool to have a boyfriend that was a vampire. Remembering one of my favorite anime that centered on human and vampire love. Now I wasn't sure.

I had to get out of the house, but there was nowhere I wanted to go. I pulled on my boots anyway, unclear where I was headed, and went downstairs. I shrugged into my jacket without checking the weather and stomped out the door.

It was overcast, but not raining yet. I ignored my truck as I walked across the yard and street toward the ever-encroaching forest. It didn't take long till I was deep enough for the house and the road to be invisible, for the only sound to be the squish of the damp earth under my feet and the sudden cries of the jay birds.

There was a thin ribbon of a trail that led through the forest here, or I wouldn't risk wandering on my own like this. My sense of direction was hopeless; I could get lost in much less helpful surroundings. The trail wound deeper and deeper into the forest, mostly east as far as I could tell. I followed the trail as long as my annoyance at myself pushed me forward. As that started to subside, I slowed. A few drops of moisture trickled down from the covering above me, but I couldn't be certain if it was beginning to rain or if it was simply pools left over from yesterday, held high in the leaves above me, slowly dripping their way back to the earth. A recently fallen tree; creating a sheltered little bench just a few safe feet off the trail. I stepped over the ferns and sat carefully, making sure my jacket was between the damp seat and my clothes wherever they touched, and leaned my hooded head back against the living tree.

This was the wrong place to have come. I should have known, but where else was there to go? The forest was deep green and far too much like the scene first in last night's dream to allow for peace of mind. At least it wasn't like the last part…I shiver at the thought; amazing how a few changes could ruin one of my favorite dreams.

Now that there was no longer the sound of my soggy footsteps, the silence was piercing. The birds were quiet, too, the drops increasing in frequency, so it must be raining above. The ferns stood higher than my head, now that I was seated, and I knew someone could walk by on the path, three feet away, and not see me.

Here in the trees it was much easier to believe the ridiculousness that embarrassed me indoors. Nothing had changed in this forest for thousands of years, and all the myths and legends of a hundred different lands seemed much more likely in this green haze than they had in my clear-cut bedroom.

I forced myself to focus on the two most vital questions I had to answer, but I did so unwillingly.

First, I had to decide if it was possible that what Jacob had said about the Cullens could be true.

Immediately my mind responded with a resounding negative. It was silly and morbid to entertain such ridiculous notions. But what, then? I asked myself. There was no rational explanation for how I was alive at this moment. I listed again in my head the things I'd observed myself: the impossible speed and strength, the eye color shifting from black to gold and back again, the inhuman beauty, the pale, frigid skin. And more small things that registered slowly how they never seemed to eat, the disturbing grace with which they moved. And the way He sometimes spoke, with unfamiliar cadences and phrases that better fit the style of a turn-of-the-century novel than that of a twenty-first-century classroom. He had skipped class the day we'd done blood typing. He hadn't said no to the beach trip till he heard where we were going to La Push. He seemed to know what everyone around him was thinking…except me. He had told me he was the villain, dangerous…

Could the Cullens be vampires?

Well, they were _something_. Something outside the possibility of rational justification was taking place in front of my doubtful eyes. Whether it be Jacob's _cold ones_ or my own superhero theory, Edward Cullen was not… human. He was something more.

So then maybe. That would have to be my answer for now.

And then the most important question of all. What was I going to do if it was true?

If Edward was a vampire; then what should I do? Involving someone else was definitely out. I couldn't even believe myself; anyone I told would have me committed.

Only two options seemed practical. The first was to take his advice: to be smart, to avoid him as much as possible. To cancel our plans, to go back to ignoring him as far as I was able. To pretend there was an impenetrably thick glass wall between us in the one class where we were forced together. To tell him to leave me alone; and mean it this time.

I was gripped in a sudden agony of despair as I considered that alternative. My mind rejected the pain, quickly skipping on to the next option.

I could do nothing different. After all, if he was something… evil, he'd done nothing to hurt me so far. In fact, I would be a dent in Tyler's fender if he hadn't acted so quickly. So quickly, I argued with myself, that it might have been sheer reflexes. But if it was a reflex to save lives, how bad could he be? I snapped. My head spun around in answerless circles.

There was one thing I was sure of, if I was sure of anything. The dark Edward in my dream last night was a reflection only of my fear of the word Jacob had spoken, and not Edward himself. Even so, when I'd screamed out in terror at the werewolf's lunge, it wasn't fear for the wolf that brought the cry of "no, stop" to my lips. It was fear that _he_ would be harmed; even as he called to me with sharp-edged fangs, I feared for _him_.

And I knew in that, I had my answer. I didn't know if there ever was a choice, really. I was already in too deep. Now that I knew; _if I_ knew. I could do nothing about my upsetting secret. Because when I thought of him, of his voice, his hypnotic eyes, the magnetic force of his personality, I wanted nothing more than to be with him right now. Even if… but I couldn't think it. Not here, alone in the darkening forest. Not while the rain made it dim as twilight under the canopy and pattered like footsteps across the matted earthen floor. I shivered and rose quickly from my place of concealment, worried that somehow the path would have disappeared with the rain.

But it was there, safe and clear, winding its way out of the dripping green maze. I followed it hurriedly, my hood pulled close around my face, becoming surprised, as I nearly ran through the trees, at how far I had come. I started to wonder if I was heading out at all, or following the path farther into the boundaries of the forest. Before I could get too frightened, though, I began to sight some open spaces through the webbed branches. And then I could hear a car passing on the street, and I was free, my lawn stretched out in front of me, the house beckoning me, promising warmth and dry clothes.

It was just noon when I got back inside. I went upstairs and got dressed for the day, cotton pants and a t-shirt, since I was staying indoors. It didn't take too much effort to concentrate on my task for the day, a paper on _Macbeth_ that was due Wednesday. I settled into outlining a rough draft contentedly, more serene than I'd felt since… well, since Thursday afternoon, if I was being honest.

This decision was ridiculously easy to live with. Dangerously easy.

And so the day was quiet, productive; I finished my paper before eight. Mom came home with dinner from the hospital.

I slept dreamlessly for once that night, exhausted from beginning my day so early, and sleeping so poorly the night before. I woke, for the second time to the bright yellow light of a sunny day. I skipped to the window, stunned to see that there was hardly a cloud in the sky, I opened the window I sucked in the relatively dry air. It was nearly warm and hardly windy at all.

Mom was finishing breakfast when I came downstairs, and she picked up on my mood immediately.

"Nice day out," she commented.

"Yes," I agreed with a grin.

She smiled back; I ate breakfast cheerily, watching the dust moats stirring in the sunlight that streamed in the back window. Mom called out a goodbye, and I heard the van pull away from the house. I hesitated on my way out the door, hand on my jacket. It would be tempting fate to leave it home. With a sigh, I through it over my shoulder and stepped out into the brightest light I'd seen in months.

I was able to get both windows in the truck almost completely rolled down. I was one of the first ones to school; I hadn't even checked the clock in my hurry to get outside. I parked and headed toward the seldom-used picnic benches on the south side of the cafeteria. The benches were still a little damp, so I sat on my jacket, glad to have a use for it. My homework was done; the product of a slow social life. But I took out my sketch book it had been a while since I last drew something; I decided to doodle to see what made idea may come from them. I was daydreaming, watching the sunlight play on the red-barked trees. After a few minutes, I suddenly realized I'd drawn five pairs of dark eyes staring out of the page at me. I scrubbed them out with the eraser.

"Diana!" I heard someone call, and it sounded like Mike.

I looked around to realize that the school had become populated while I'd been sitting there absentminded. Everyone was in t-shirts, some even in shorts though the temperature couldn't be over sixty. Mike was coming toward me in shorts and a striped shirt, waving.

"Hey, Mike," I called, waving back, unable to be halfhearted on a morning like this.

He came to sit by me, the tidy spikes of his hair shining golden in the light, his grin stretching across his face. He was so delighted to see me; I couldn't help but feel grateful.

"I never noticed before your hair has a golden color to it," he commented, catching between his fingers a strand that was fluttering in the light breeze.

"Only in the sun."

I became just a little uncomfortable as he tucked the lock behind my ear.

"Great day, isn't it?"

"yup," I agreed.

"What did you do yesterday?" His tone was just a bit too proprietary.

"I mostly worked on my essay." I didn't add that I was finished with it; no need to sound smug.

He hit his forehead with the heel of his hand. "Oh yeah; that's due Thursday, right?"

"Um, Wednesday, I think."

"Wednesday?" He frowned. "That's not good…I guess I'll have to get to work on that tonight," he said, deflated. "I was going to ask if you wanted to go out."

"Oh…um," I was taken off guard. Why couldn't I ever have a pleasant conversation with Mike anymore without it getting awkward?

"Well, we could go to dinner or something… and I could work on it later." He smiled at me hopefully.

"Mike…" I hated being put on the spot. "I don't think that would be the best idea."

His face fell. "Why?" he asked, his eyes guarded. My thoughts flickered to Edward, wondering if that's where his thoughts were as well.

"I think… and if you ever repeat what I'm saying right now I will cheerfully beat you to death," I threatened, "but I think that would hurt Jessica's feelings."

He was bewildered, obviously not thinking in _that_ direction at all. "Jessica?"

"Really, Mike, are you _blind_?"

"Oh," he exhaled; clearly dazed. I took advantage of that to make my escape.

"It's time for class, and I can't be late again." I gathered my books up and stuffed them in my bag.

We walked in silence to building three, and his expression was distracted. I hoped whatever thoughts he was absorbed in were leading him in the right direction.

When I saw Jessica in Trig, she was bubbling with eagerness. She, Angela, and Lauren were going to Port Angeles tonight to go dress shopping for the dance, and she wanted me to come, too, even though I didn't need one. I was unsure. It would be nice to get out of town with some friends, but Lauren would be there. And who knew what I could be doing tonight… But that was definitely the wrong path to let my mind wander down. I was happy about the sunlight. But that wasn't completely responsible for the overjoyed mood I was in, not even close.

So I gave her a maybe, telling her I'd have to talk with Mom first.

She talked of nothing but the dance on the way to Spanish, continuing as if without an intermission when class finally ended, five minutes late, and we were on our way to lunch. I was far too eager to get to lunch to notice much of what she said. I was painfully eager to see not just him but all the Cullens; to compare them with the new suspicions that plagued my mind. As I crossed the entrance of the cafeteria, would they be able to know what I was thinking? I felt the first true tingle of fear slither down my spine and settle in my stomach. And then a different feeling jolted through me; would Edward be waiting to sit with me again?

As was my routine, I glanced first toward the Cullens' table. A shiver of panic trembled in my stomach as I realized it was empty. With decreasing hope, my eyes battered the rest of the cafeteria, hoping to find him alone, waiting for me. The place was nearly filled; Spanish had made us late. But there was no sign of Edward or any of his family. Despair hit me with crippling strength.

I shambled along behind Jessica, not bothering to pretend to listen anymore.

We were late enough that everyone was already at our table. I avoided the empty chair next to Mike in favor of one by Angela. I vaguely noticed that Mike held the chair out politely for Jessica, and that her face lit up in response.

Angela too, invited me to go with them tonight, and I agreed now, grasping at anything that may brighten my mood.

I realized I'd been holding on to a last shred of hope when I entered Biology, saw his empty seat, and felt a new wave of disappointment. It really wasn't fair …

The rest of the day passed slowly, gloomily. In Gym, we had a lecture on the rules of badminton, the next torture they had lined up for me. But at least it meant I got to sit and listen instead of stumbling around on the court. The best part was the coach didn't finish, so I got another day off tomorrow. Never mind that the day after they would arm me with a racket before unleashing me on the rest of the class.

I was glad to leave campus, so I would be free to pout and mope before I went out tonight with Jessica and company. But right after I walked in the door of the house, Jessica called to cancel our plans. I tried to be happy that Mike had asked her out to dinner; I really was relieved that he finally seemed to be catching on. But my eagerness sounded false in my own ears. She rescheduled our shopping trip for tomorrow night.

Which left me with little in the way of distractions; I spent a focused half hour on homework, but then I was through with that, too. I checked my e-mail, reading the backlog of letters from my friends, I reply to them apologizing for not write back sooner. I decided to kill an hour with non-school-related reading. I went over to my mangas; I selected a couple and headed to the backyard, grabbing a ragged old blanket from the linen cupboard at the top of the stairs on my way down.

Outside in the small, square yard, I folded the blanket in half and laid it out of the reach of the trees' shadows on the thick lawn that would always be slightly wet, no matter how long the sun shone. I lay on my stomach, crossing my ankles in the air, fliped out the manga I began to read recalling that the hero of the story happened to be named _Edward_. Angrily, I turned to my other book, but the hero of that one was named _Edwin_, and that was just too close. Weren't there any other names they could have used? I snapped the book shut, annoyed, and rolled over onto my back. I pushed my sleeves up as high as they would go, and closed my eyes. I would think of nothing but the warmth on my skin, I told myself severely. The breeze was still light, but it blew stems of my hair around my face, and that tickled a bit. I pulled all my hair over my head, letting it fan out on the blanket above me, and focused again on the heat that touched my eyelids, my cheekbones, my nose, my lips, my forearms, my neck, soaked through my light shirt…

The next thing I was aware of was the sound of Mom's car turning onto the driveway. I sat up in surprise, realizing the light was gone, behind the trees, and I had fallen asleep. I looked around, muddled, with the sudden feeling that I wasn't alone.

"Mom?" I asked. But I could hear her door slamming in front of the house.

I jumped up, foolishly nervous, gathering the now-damp blanket and my books. I ran inside to greet her. I watched TV with Mom after dinner, for something to do. There wasn't anything on I wanted to watch, so she turned it to some mindless sitcom that we seemed to enjoy. She seemed happy to be doing something together. And it felt good, despite my disappointment, to make her happy.

"Mom," I said during a commercial, "Jessica and Angela are going to look at dresses for the dance tomorrow night in Port Angeles, and they wanted me to help them choose… do you mind if I go with them?"

He was confused. "But you're not going to the dance, right?"

"No, but I'm helping _them_ find dresses." I never was known for wearing dresses; so I could understand why mom had to ask.

"Well, okay." She seemed happy about me wanting to go out. "It's a school night, though."

"We'll leave right after school, so we can get back early."

She smiled "Good."

It was sunny again in the morning. I awakened with renewed hope that I gloomily tried to suppress. I dressed for the warmer weather in a Green sweater; something I'd worn in the dead of winter in Florida.

I had planned my arrival at school so that I barely had time to make it to class. With a sinking heart, I circled the full lot looking for a space, while also searching for the silver car that was clearly not there. I parked in the last row and hurried to English, arriving breathless, but subdued, before the final bell.

It was the same as yesterday; I just couldn't keep little spreads of hope from forming in my mind, only to have them smashed painfully as I searched the lunchroom in vain and sat at my empty Biology table.

The Port Angeles plan was back on again for tonight and made all the more appealing by the fact that Lauren had other responsibilities. I was anxious to get out of town so I could stop glancing over my shoulder, hoping to see him appearing out of the blue the way he always did. I vowed to myself that I would be in a good mood tonight and not ruin Angela's or Jessica's fun in the dress hunting. Maybe I could do a little clothes shopping as well. I refused to think that I might be alone in this weekend, no longer interested in the earlier arrangement. Surely he wouldn't cancel without at least telling me. Of course I'd have to change where we were going; since he and family weren't allowed to be on La Push land.

After school, Jessica followed me home in her car so that I could ditch my books and truck. I brushed through my hair quickly when I was inside, feeling a slight lift of excitement as I contemplated getting to go out with friends. I left a note for Mom on the table, explaining again where I would be, switched my school bag for my small black purse, and ran out to join Jessica. We went to Angela's house next, and she was waiting for us. My excitement increased as we actually drove out of the town limits.


	9. Chapter 8 Port Angeles

Chapter 8

Port Angeles

Jess drove fast, so we made it to Port Angeles by four. It had been a while since I'd had a girls' night out, and I was very excited. We listened to whiny rock songs while Jessica jabbered on about the boys we hung out with. Jessica's dinner with Mike had gone very well, and she was hoping that by Saturday night they would have progressed to the first-kiss stage. I smiled to myself, pleased. Angela was passively happy to be going to the dance, but not really interested in Eric. Jess tried to get her to confess who her type was, but I interrupted with a question about dresses after a bit, to spare her. Angela threw a grateful glance my way.

Port Angeles was a beautiful little tourist trap, much more polished and quaint than Forks. But Jessica and Angela knew it well, so they didn't plan to waste time on the picturesque boardwalk by the bay. Jess drove straight to the one big department store in town, which were a few streets in from the bay area's visitor-friendly face.

The dance was billed as semiformal, and we weren't exactly sure what that meant. Both Jessica and Angela seemed surprised and almost disbelieving when I told them I'd never been to a dance in Florida.

"Didn't you ever go with a boyfriend or something?" Jess asked dubiously as we walked through the front doors of the store.

"I've never had a boyfriend or anything close."

"Why not?" Jessica demanded.

"No one asked me," I answered honestly.

She looked doubtful. "People ask you out here," she reminded me, "and you tell them no." We were in the juniors' section now, scanning the racks for dress-up clothes.

"Well, except for Tyler," Angela amended quietly.

"Cha- Excuse me?" I gasped.

"Tyler told everyone he's taking you to prom," Jessica informed me with doubtful eyes.

"He said _what_?" I sounded like I was choking.

"I told you it wasn't true," Angela murmured to Jessica.

I was silent, still lost in shock that was quickly turning to irritation. But we had found the dress racks, and now we had work to do.

"That's why Lauren doesn't like you," Jessica giggled while we pawed through the clothes.

I narrowed my eyes. "Do you think that if I ran him over with my truck he would stop feeling guilty about the accident? That he might give up apologizing and call us even?"

"Maybe," Jess snickered. '"_If_ that's why he's doing this."

The dress selection wasn't large, but both of them found a few things to try on. I sat on a low chair just inside the dressing room, by the three-way mirror, trying to control my fuming.

Jess was torn between two; one a long, strapless, basic black number, the other a knee-length electric blue with spaghetti straps. I encouraged her to go with the blue; why not play up the eyes? Angela chose a pale pink dress that draped around her tall frame nicely and brought out honey tints in her light brown hair. I complimented them both kindly and helped by returning the rejects to their racks. The whole process was much shorter and easier than I thought it would be. I guess there was something to be said for limited choices.

We headed over to shoes and accessories. While they tried things on I merely watched and critiqued, not in the mood to shop for myself. The girls'-night high was wearing off in the wake of my annoyance at Tyler, leaving room for the gloom to move back in. How someone could make a simple apology in to this crazy mess is be on me. I told him it was okay; I wasn't hurt. Truthfully if I wasn't more distasted by the thing with Edward I may have been pissed off; but right now I could careless.

Angela was overjoyed to have a date tall enough that she could wear high heels at all. She was trying on a pair of pink strappy heels; '…uh…pink…' I thought as I watched her. Nothing against pink; I just really like it. Jessica had drifted to the jewelry counter and we were alone.

"Angela?" I began, uncertain.

"Yes?" She held her leg out, twisting her ankle to get a better view of the shoe.

I chickened out and lied. "I like those."

"I think I'll get them; though they'll never match anything but the one dress," she mused.

"They're on sale," I encouraged. She smiled, putting the lid back on a box that contained more practical-looking off-white shoes.

I tried again. "Um, Angela…" She looked up curiously.

"Is it normal for the… Cullens" I kept my eyes on my hands "to be out of school a lot?" I failed miserably in my attempt to sound casual.

"Yes, when the weather is good they go backpacking all the time; even the doctor. They're all real outdoorsy," she told me quietly, examining her shoes, too. She didn't ask one question, let alone the hundreds that Jessica would have unleashed. I was beginning to really like Angela. _They're all real outdoorsy, _the words repeated in my mind; great another thing that made me and him so different.

"Oh." _They're all real outdoorsy, _the words repeated in my mind over and over. Great another thing that made me and him so different.

I let the subject drop as Jessica returned to show us the jewelry she'd found to match her silver shoes.

We planned to go to dinner at a little Italian restaurant on the boardwalk, but the dress shopping hadn't taken as long as we'd expected. Jess and Angela were going to take their clothes back to the car and then walk down to the bay. I told them I would meet them at the restaurant in an hour; I gave them both my cell phone number then headed to a group of stores; I wanted to look for a good Bookstore or if was lucky a videogame store. They were both willing to come with me, but I encouraged them to go have fun; they didn't know how preoccupied I could get when shopping. They walked off to the car chattering happily, and I headed in the direction Jess pointed out.

I had no trouble finding the bookstore, but it wasn't what I expected. The windows were full with very pretty crystals, dream-catchers, and books about spiritual healing. It looked appealing; but I didn't go inside. Through the glass I could see a fifty-year-old woman with long, gray hair worn straight down her back, clad in a dress right out of the sixties, smiling welcomingly from behind the counter. A smile politely then tried my lucky on finding a videogame store; There had to be a one those or a least a normal bookstore in town.

I strolled through the streets. Starting to sing softly to myself; _we are one_ from lion king 2. The streets were filling up with end of the workday traffic; I hoped I was headed toward downtown. I wasn't paying as much attention as I should to where I was going; I was wrestling with despair. I was trying so hard not to think about him, and what Angela had said… and more than anything trying to beat down my hopes for Saturday, fearing that disappointment the most. When I looked up to see someone's silver car parked along the street and it all came crashing down on me. I'm being silly; I haven't even spoken to him in a few days; for all I knew he was still look forward to Saturday like I still was. I almost considered waiting near the car to see if it really was his; but I squished that thought as soon as it formed. 'You're being stupid, Diana.' I thought to myself.

I paced along in a southerly direction, toward some glass-fronted shops that looked promising. But when I got to them, they were just a repair shop and a vacant space. I still had too much time to go looking for Jess and Angela yet, and I definitely needed to get in a better mood before I met back up with them. I ran my fingers through my hair a couple of times then pulled it up in a ponytail with a hair-tie I had in my pocket; after taking some deep breaths. I continued around the corner.

I started to realize, as I crossed another road, that I was going the wrong direction. The little foot traffic I had seen was going north, and it looked like the buildings here were mostly warehouses. I decided to turn at the next corner, and then circle around after a few blocks and try my luck again on a different street on my way back to the boardwalk.

A group of four men turned around the corner I was heading for, dressed too casually to be heading home from the office, but they were too grimy to be tourists. As they approached me, I realized they weren't too many years older than I was. They were joking loudly among themselves, laughing raucously and punching each other's arms. I moved as far to the inside of the sidewalk as I could to give them room, walking swiftly, looking past them to the corner.

"Hey, there!" one of them called as they passed, and he had to be talking to me since no one else was around. I glanced up automatically. Two of them had paused, the other two were slowing. The closest, a heavyset, dark-haired man in his early twenties, seemed to be the one who had spoken. He was wearing a flannel shirt open over a dirty t-shirt, cut-off jeans, and sandals. He took half a step toward me.

With a quick "Hello" back; I swiftly looked away and walked faster toward the corner. I could hear them laughing at full volume behind me.

"Hey, wait!" one of them called after me again, but I kept my head down and rounded the corner. I could still hear them chortling behind me.

I found myself on a sidewalk leading past the backs of several somber-colored warehouses, each with large bay doors for unloading trucks, padlocked for the night. The south side of the street had no sidewalk, only a chain-link fence topped with barbed wire protecting some kind of engine parts storage yard. I spoke a curse word to myself as I looked around.

I'd wandered far past the part of Port Angeles that I, as a guest, was intended to see. It was getting dark, I realized, the clouds finally returning, piling up on the western horizon, creating an early sunset. The eastern sky was still clear, but graying, shot through with streaks of pink and orange. I'd left my jacket in the car, and a sudden shiver made me cross my arms tightly across my chest. A single van passed me, and then the road was empty.

The sky suddenly darkened further, and, as I looked over my shoulder to glare at the offending cloud, I realized with a shock that two men were walking quietly twenty feet behind me. My breath started to quicken; I was hyperventilating for the first time in my life.

They were from the same group I'd passed at the corner, though neither was the dark one who'd spoken to me. I turned my head forward at once, quickening my pace. A chill that had nothing to do with the weather made me shiver again. My purse was on a shoulder strap and I had it slung across my body, the way you were supposed to wear it so it wouldn't get snatched. I didn't have much money with me; just a twenty and some ones. I thought about _accidentally _dropping my bag and walking away. But a small, frightened voice in the back of my mind warned me that they might be something worse than thieves.

I listened intently to their quiet footsteps, which were much too quiet when compared to the manic noise they'd been making earlier, and it didn't sound like they were speeding up, or getting any closer to me. Breathe, I had to remind myself. You don't know they're following you. I continued to walk as quickly as I could without actually running, focusing on the right-hand turn that was only a few yards away from me now. I could hear them, staying as far back as they'd been before. A blue car turned onto the street from the south and drove quickly past me. I reached the corner, but a swift glance revealed that it was only a blind drive to the back of another building. I was half-turned in anticipation; I had to hurried correctly and dash across the narrow drive, back to the sidewalk. The street ended at the next corner, where there was a stop sign. Listening for the faint footsteps behind me; deciding whether or not to run. They sounded farther back, though, and I knew they could outrun me in any case. I tried to go any faster. The foot steps were definitely farther back. I risked a quick glance over my shoulder, and they were maybe forty feet back now, I saw with relief. But they were both staring at me.

It seemed to take forever for me to get to the corner. I kept my pace steady, the men behind me falling ever so slightly farther behind with every step. Maybe they realized they had scared me and were sorry. I saw two cars going north pass the intersection I was heading for, and I exhaled in relief. There would be more people around once I got off this deserted street. I paced around the corner with a grateful sigh.

But I then skidded to a stop.

The street was lined on both sides by blank, door-less, windowless walls. I could see in the distance, two intersections down, streetlamps, cars, and more pedestrians, but they were all too far away. Lounging against the western building, midway down the street, were the other two men from the group, both watching with excited smiles as I froze dead on the sidewalk. I realized then that I wasn't being followed.

I was being herded.

I paused for only a second, but it felt like a very long time. I turned then and darted to the other side of the road. I had a sinking feeling that it was a wasted attempt. I could feel tears forming in my eyes. The footsteps behind me were louder now.

"There you are!" The booming voice of the stocky, dark-haired man shattered the intense quiet and made me jump. In the gathering darkness, it seemed like he was looking past me.

"Yeah," a voice called loudly from behind me, making me jump again as I tried to hurry down the street. "We just took a little detour."

My steps had to slow now. I was closing the distance between myself and the lounging pair too quickly. At any rate I had to let out a good loud scream, and I sucked in air, preparing to use it, but my throat was so dry I wasn't sure how much volume I could manage. Gripped the strap of my purse nervous; I could feel the cold hold of fear starting to take over me.

The thickset man shrugged away from the wall as I warily came to a stop, and walked slowly into the street.

"Stay away from me," I warned in a voice that was supposed to sound strong and fearless. But sounded weak and scared, I was right about the dry throat; no volume.

"Don't be like that, sugar," he called, and the raucous laughter started again behind me.

The same gloomy voice in my mind spoke up then, reminding me that I probably wouldn't have a chance against one of them, and there were four. Shut up! I commanded the voice before terror could fully take over me. I wasn't going out without taking someone with me. I tried to swallow so I could build up a decent scream; then clenching my fists.

Headlights suddenly flew around the corner, the car almost hitting the stocky one, forcing him to jump back toward the sidewalk. I dove into the road; _this_ car was going to stop, or have to hit me. But the silver car unexpectedly fishtailed around, skidding to a stop with the passenger door open just a few feet from me.

"Get in," a furious voice commanded.

As soon as I heard his voice. I jumped into the seat, slamming the door shut behind me. I still a little was still breathing heavily; tears still in my eyes. But it was amazing how the choking fear was almost gone; amazing how suddenly the feeling of security washed over me. His voice was thanks for that.

It was dark in the car, no light had come on with the opening of the door, and I could barely see his face in the glow from the dashboard. The tires squealed as he spun around to face north, accelerating too quickly, swerving toward the stunned men on the street. I caught a glimpse of them diving for the sidewalk as we straightened out and sped toward the harbor.

"Put on your seat belt," he commanded, and I realized I was clutching the seat with both hands. I quickly obeyed; the snap as the belt connected was loud in the darkness. He took a sharp left, racing forward, blowing through several stop signs without a pause.

But I felt utterly safe and, for the moment, totally unconcerned about where we were going. Soon my breathing was normal again. I wiped the tears from my eyes as stared at his face in profound relief, relief that went beyond my sudden rescue. I studied his flawless features in the limited light, his expression was murderously angry.

"Are you alright?" I asked, surprised at how rasped my voice sounded. I need some to drink.

"No," he said curtly, and his tone was furious.

I sat in silence my head resting on the seat. Watching his face from the corner of my eye, His blazing eyes stared straight ahead, until the car came to a sudden stop. My head popped up as I glanced around, but it was too dark to see anything beside the vague outline of dark trees crowding the roadside. We weren't in town anymore.

"Diana?" he asked his voice tight, controlled.

"Yeah?" My voice was still rough. I tried to clear my throat.

"Are you all right?" He still didn't look at me, but the fury was plain on his face.

"Yes," I croaked softly.

"Distract me, please," he ordered.

"Huh?" I looked confused at him.

He exhaled sharply. "Just prattle about something unimportant until I calm down," he explained, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

"Uh…." I searched my brain for something trivial. "I'm think about running over Tyler Crowley with my truck tomorrow before school?"

He was still squeezing his eyes closed, but the corner of his mouth twitched. "Why?"

"He told everyone that he's taking me to prom; either he's insane or he's still trying to make up for almost killing me last… well, you remember, and he thinks _prom_ is somehow the correct apology. So I figure if I endanger his life, then we're even, and he can't keep trying to make amends. Maybe Lauren would back off if he left me alone. I don't need enemies; I might have to total his car, though. If he doesn't have a ride he can't take anyone to prom…" I babbled on; hoping that helped.

"I heard about that." He sounded a bit more composed.

"What?!" I asked in disbelief, my previous annoyance flaring. "Maybe If he's paralyzed from the neck down, he can't go to the prom, either," I muttered, refining my plan. Rubbing my palms evilly; I would have done a playful evil laugh. But now wasn't the best time to be goofy.

Edward sighed, and finally opened his eyes.

I looked worriedly at him "All better?"

"Not really."

I waited, but he didn't speak again. He leaned his head back against the seat, staring at the ceiling of the car. His face was rigid.

"What's wrong?"

"Sometimes I have a problem with my temper, Diana." He stared out the window, his eyes narrowed into slits. "But it _wouldn't_ be helpful for me to turn around and hunt down those…" He didn't finish his sentence, looking away, struggling for a moment to control his anger again. "At least," he continued, "that's what I'm trying to convince myself."

"Oh." The word seemed not enough, but I couldn't think of a better response. I won't afraid any more; with him I couldn't be. But I was angry at those men. Others monsters… I think he saw the loathing in my eyes.

"Diana, are you really alright?"

"I'm fine, Edward please don't…" I was looking down.

"Don't, what," He sounded a little miffed

"Please don't go after those…" But He cut me off.

"How can you just acted as if nothing had occurred?!"

"I just want to forget about…"

We sat in silence again. I glanced at the clock on the dashboard. It was past six-thirty.

"Jessica and Angela will be worried," I murmured. "I was supposed to meet them."

He started the engine without another word, turning around smoothly and speeding back toward town. We were under the streetlights in no time at all, still going too fast, weaving with ease through the cars slowly cruising the boardwalk. He parallel-parked against the curb in a space; I looked out the window to see the lights of La Bella Italia, and Jess and Angela just leaving, pacing uneasily away from us.

"How did you know where…?" I began, but then I just shook my head. I heard the door open and turned to see him getting out.

"Edward?" I asked; a little puzzled.

"I'm taking you to dinner." He smiled slightly, but his eyes were hard. He stepped out of the car and slammed the door. I scrabbled with my seat belt, and then hurried to get out of the car as well. He was waiting for me on the sidewalk.

He spoke before I could. "Go stop Jessica and Angela before I have to track them down, too. I don't think I could restrain myself if I ran into your other friends again."

I shivered at the threat in his voice; then nodded quickly.

"Jess! Angela!" I yelled after them, waving when they turned. They rushed back to me, the obvious relief on both their faces at the same time changing to surprise as they saw who I was standing next to. They paused a few feet from us.

"Where have you been?" Jessica's voice was wary.

"I got lost," I admitted guiltily. "And then I ran into Edward." I motioned toward him.

"Would it be all right if I joined you?" he asked in his silken, irresistible voice. I could see from their staggered expressions that he had never unleashed his talented eyes on them before.

"Er… sure," Jessica breathed.

"Um, actually, Diana, we already ate while we were waiting; sorry," Angela confessed.

"Oh." I said disappointed; but I was surprised I was late after all. "Well, that's ok. I'll just eat something when I got home." I shrugged.

"I think you should eat something now." Edward's voice was low, but full of authority. He looked up at Jessica and spoke slightly louder. "Do you mind if I drive Diana home tonight? That way you won't have to wait while she eats."

"Uh, no problem, I guess…" She bit her lip, trying to figure out from my expression whether that was what I wanted. I grinned at her. I wanted nothing more than to be alone with my perpetual savior anyway. There were so many questions that I couldn't shower him with till we were by ourselves.

"Okay." Angela was quicker than Jessica. "See you tomorrow, Diana… Edward." She grabbed Jessica's hand and pulled her toward the car, which I could see a little ways away, parked across First Street. As they got in, Jess turned and waved her face eager with curiosity. I waved back, waiting for them to drive away before I turned to face him. I was so going to have her bug me about this later…

"Really, I can wait," I insisted, looking up to examine his face. His expression was unreadable.

"Humor me."

He walked to the door of the restaurant and held it open with a determined expression. Obviously, there would be no further discussion. I walked past him into the restaurant with a resigned sigh.

The restaurant wasn't crowded; it was the off-season in Port Angeles. The host was female, and I understood the look in her eyes as she assessed Edward. She welcomed him a little more warmly than necessary. I was surprised by how much that bothered me. She was several inches taller than I was, and blond.

"A table for two?" His voice was appealing, whether he was aiming for that or not. I saw her eyes flicker to me and then away, satisfied by my obvious ordinariness, and by the cautious, no-contact space Edward kept between us. I sighed annoyed as she led us to a table big enough for four in the center of the most crowded area of the dining floor.

I was about to sit, but Edward shook his head at me.

"Perhaps something more private?" he insisted quietly to the host. I wasn't sure, but it looked like he smoothly handed her a tip.

"Sure." She sounded as surprised as I was. She turned and led us around a panel to a small ring of booths; all of them empty. "How's this?"

"Perfect." He flashed his gleaming smile, dazing her momentarily.

"Um," she shook her head, blinking "your server will be right out." She walked away unsteadily.

I giggled "You really shouldn't do that to people," I tensely; giggling again. "It's hardly fair."

"Do what?"

"Dazzle them like that; she's probably hyperventilating in the kitchen right now."

He seemed confused.

"Oh, come on," I said doubtfully. "You _have_ to know the effect you have on people."

He tilted his head to one side, and his eyes were curious. 'He so cute he does that!' I thought to myself.

"I dazzle people?"

"You haven't noticed? Do you think everybody gets their way so easily?"

He ignored my questions. "Do I dazzle _you_?"

I was quiet for a second; then sighed "Yes," I admitted.

Our server arrived, her face eager. The hostess must have dished behind the scenes, and this new girl didn't look disappointed. She flipped a strand of short black hair behind one ear and smiled with unnecessary warmth.

"Hello. My name is Amber, and I'll be your server tonight. What can I get you to drink?" I didn't miss that she was speaking only to him.

He looked at me.

"I'll have a Dr. Pepper." It sounded annoyed.

"Two Dr. Peppers," he said.

"I'll be right back with that," she assured him with another unnecessary smile. But he didn't see it. He was watching me.

"What?" I asked when she left.

His eyes stayed fixed on my face. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," I replied, surprised by his intensity.

"You don't feel dizzy, sick, cold…?"

"Should I?"

He chuckled at my puzzled tone.

"Well, I'm actually waiting for you to go into shock." His face twisted up into that perfect crooked smile.

"I don't think that will happen," I said.

"Just the same, I'll feel better when you have some sugar and food in you."

Right on cue, the waitress appeared with our drinks and a basket of breadsticks. She stood with her back to me as she placed them on the table.

"Are you ready to order?" she asked Edward.

"Diana?" he asked. She turned unwillingly toward me.

I picked the first thing I saw on the menu. "Um… I'll have the beef and cheese ravioli."

"And you?" She turned back to him with a smile.

"Nothing for me," he said; Of course.

"Let me know if you change your mind." The coy smile was still in place, but he wasn't looking at her, and she left dissatisfied.

"Drink," he ordered.

"okay…" I sipped at my soda unquestioningly, and then drank more deeply, surprised by how thirsty I really was. I realized I had finished the whole thing when he pushed his glass toward me.

"Thanks," I muttered, still thirsty. The cold from the icy soda was radiating through my chest, and I shivered.

"Are you cold?"

"It's just the soda," I explained, shivering again.

"Don't you have a jacket?" His voice was disapproving.

"Yes." I looked at the empty bench next to me. "Oh; I left it in Jessica's car," I realized.

Edward was shrugging out of his jacket. I suddenly realized that I had never once noticed what he was wearing; not just tonight, but ever. I just couldn't seem to look away from his face. I made myself look now, focusing. He was removing a light beige leather jacket now; underneath he wore an ivory turtleneck sweater. It fit him snugly, emphasizing how muscular his chest was.

He handed me the jacket, interrupting my ogling.

"Thanks," I said again, sliding my arms into his jacket. It was cold; the way my jacket felt when I first picked it up in the morning, hanging in the drafty hallway. I shivered again. It smelled amazing. I inhaled, trying to identify the delicious scent. It didn't smell like cologne. The sleeves were much too long; my fingers slightly sticking out from the sleeves.

"That color blue looks lovely with your skin," he said, watching me. I was surprised; I looked down, flushing, of course.

"Thank you…"

He pushed the bread basket toward me.

"thanks, but really I'm not going into shock," I protested.

"You should be; a _normal_ person would be. You don't even look shaken." He seemed unsettled. He stared into my eyes, and I saw how light his eyes were, lighter than I'd ever seen them, golden butterscotch.

"Don't get me wrong I was scary But, I feel very safe with you," I confessed, captivated into telling the truth again.

That displeased him; his alabaster brow furrowed. He shook his head, frowning.

"This is more complicated than I'd planned," he murmured to himself.

I picked up a breadstick and began nibbling on the end, measuring his expression. I wondered when it would be okay to start questioning him.

"Usually you're in a better mood when your eyes are golden," I commented, trying to distract him from whatever thought had left him frowning and somber.

He stared at me, stunned. "What?"

"You're always crabbier when your eyes are black; I expect it then," I went on. "I have a theory about that."

His eyes narrowed. "More theories?"

"Mm-hm." I chewed on a bite of the bread, trying to look indifferent.

"I hope you were more creative this time… or are you still stealing from comic books?" His faint smile was mocking; his eyes were still tight.

"Well, no, I didn't get it from a comic book, but I didn't come up with it on my own, either," I confessed.

"And?" he prompted.

But then the waitress strode around the partition with my food. I realized we'd been unconsciously leaning toward each other across the table, because we both straightened up as she approached. She set the dish in front of me; it looked pretty good. She turned quickly to Edward.

"Did you change your mind?" she asked. "Isn't there anything I can get you?" I may have been imagining the double meaning in her words.

"No, thank you, but some more soda would be nice." He gestured with a long pale hand to the empty cups in front of me.

"Sure." She removed the empty glasses and walked away.

"You were saying?" he asked.

"I'll tell you about it in the car. If…" I paused.

"There are conditions?" He raised one eyebrow, his voice ominous.

"No, I just have a few questions, of course."

"Of course."

The waitress was back with two more Dr. Peppers. She sat them down without a word this time, and left again.

I took a sip; smiling to myself and holding back a giggle.

"Well, go ahead," he pushed, his voice still hard.

I started with the easiest he could answer. "Why are you in Port Angeles?"

He looked down, folding his large hands together slowly on the table. His eyes flickered up at me from under his lashes, the hint of a smirk on his face.

"Next."

"But that's the easiest one," I objected.

"Next," he repeated.

I looked down, frustrated. I unrolled my silverware, picked up my fork, and carefully spearing a ravioli. I put it in my mouth, still looking down, chewing while I thought. The beef and cheese was good. I swallowed and took another sip of my soda before I looked up.

"Okay, then." I looked at him, and continued slowly. "Let's say that supposedly… someone… could know what people are thinking, read minds if you will; with a few exceptions."

"Just _one_ exception," he corrected, "hypothetically."

"All right, with one exception, then." I was thrilled that he was playing along, but I tried to seem casual.

"How does that work? What are the limitations? How would… that person… find someone else at exactly the right time? How would he know she was in trouble?" I wondered if my convoluted questions even made sense.

"Hypothetically?" he asked.

"Sure."

"Well, if… that someone…"

"Let's call him _Bob_," I suggested.

He smiled wryly. "Bob, then. If Bob had been paying attention, the timing wouldn't have needed to be quite so exact." He shook his head, rolling his eyes. "Only _you_ could get into trouble in a town this small. You would have devastated their crime rate statistics for a decade, you know."

"Hey we're speaking of a theoretical case," I reminded him frostily.

He laughed at me, his eyes warm.

"Yes, we were," he agreed. "Shall we call you _Jane_?"

"How did you know?" I asked, losing control of my intensity. I realized I was leaning toward him again.

He seemed to be wavering, torn by some internal dilemma. His eyes locked with mine, and I guessed he was making the decision right then whether or not to simply tell me the truth.

"You know, you can trust me, right?" I speak softly. I reached forward, without thinking, to touch his folded hands, but he slid them away minutely, and I pulled my hand back. I hoped my face didn't give away how displeasured at his reaction.

"I don't know if I have a choice anymore." His voice was almost a whisper. "I was wrong; you're much more observant than I gave you credit for."

"Here, I thought you were always right."

"I used to be." He shook his head again. "I was wrong about you on one other thing, as well. You're not a magnet for accidents; that's not a broad enough classification. You are a magnet for _trouble_. If there is anything dangerous within a ten-mile radius, it will invariably find you."

I laughed "Forks has that crazy affect on me."

"Indeed" He said, with a small nodded.

"And you put yourself into that category?" I guessed.

His face turned cold, expressionless. "Unequivocally."

I stretched my hand across the table again; ignoring him when he pulled back slightly once more. I touched the back of his hand shyly with my fingertips. His skin was cold and hard, like a stone.

"I don't think so, I really don't." I smiled; he looked at me quiet. "Thank you." My voice was eager with gratitude. "That's twice now."

His face softened. "Let's not try for three, agreed?"

I smirked, but nodded. He moved his hand out from under mine, placing both of his under the table. But he leaned toward me.

"I followed you to Port Angeles," he admitted, speaking in a rush. "I've never tried to keep a specific person alive before, and it's much more troublesome than I would have believed. But that's probably just because it's you. Ordinary people seem to make it through the day without so many catastrophes." He paused.

"Catastrophes?" I hadn't heard that word before.

He smiled wryly "It's another way to say misfortune."

"Oh, well you learn something new day…" I could see that he was holding back a laugh.

I wondered if it should bother me that he was following me; instead I felt a strange surge of pleasure. He stared, maybe wondering why my lips were curving into an involuntary smile.

"Did you ever think that maybe my number was up the first time, with the van, and that you've been interfering with fate?" I speculated, distracting myself.

"That wasn't the first time," he said, and his voice was hard to hear. I stared at him in amazement, but he was looking down. "Your number was up the first time I met you."

I felt a faint twinge of fear at his words, and the sudden memory of his violent black glare that first day… but the overpowering sense of safety I felt in his presence subdued it. By the time he looked up to read my eyes, there was no trace of fear in them.

"You remember?" he asked, his angel's face grave.

"Yes." I was calm.

"And yet here you sit." There was a trace of disbelief in his voice; he raised one eyebrow.

"Yes, here I sit… because of you." I paused. "Because somehow you knew how to find me today… ?" I prompted.

He pressed his lips together, staring at me through narrowed eyes, deciding again. His eyes flashed down to my full plate, and then back to me.

"You eat, I'll talk," he bargained.

I quickly scooped up another ravioli and popped it in my mouth.

"It's harder than it should be; keeping track of you. Usually I can find someone very easily, once I've heard their mind before." He looked at me worriedly, and I realized I had frozen. I made myself swallow, then stabbed another ravioli and tossed it in.

"I was keeping tabs on Jessica, not carefully; like I said, only you could find trouble in Port Angeles. At first I didn't notice when you took off on your own. Then, when I realized that you weren't with her anymore, I went looking for you at the bookstore I saw in her head. I could tell that you hadn't gone in, and that you'd gone south… and I knew you would have to turn around soon. So I was just waiting for you, randomly searching through the thoughts of people on the street; to see if anyone had noticed you so I would know where you were. I had no reason to be worried… but I was strangely anxious…" He was lost in thought, staring past me, seeing things I couldn't imagine.

"I started to drive in circles, still… listening. The sun was finally setting, and I was about to get out and follow you on foot. And then…" He stopped, clenching his teeth together in sudden fury. He made an effort to calm himself.

"Then what happened?" I whispered. He continued to stare over my head.

"I heard what they were thinking," he growled, his upper lip curling slightly back over his teeth. "I saw your face in his mind." He suddenly leaned forward, one elbow appearing on the table, his hand covering his eyes. The movement was so swift it startled me.

"It was very… hard; you can't imagine how hard, for me to simply take you away, and leave them… alive." His voice was muffled by his arm. "I could have let you go with Jessica and Angela, but I was afraid if you left me alone, I would go looking for them," he admitted in a whisper.

I sat quietly, dazed, my thoughts all over the place. My hands were folded in my lap, and I was leaning weakly against the back of the seat. He still had his face in his hand, and he was as still as if he'd been carved from the stone his skin resembled.

Finally he looked up, his eyes seeking mine, full of his own questions.

"Are you ready to go home?" he asked.

"I'm ready to leave," I was overly grateful that we had the hour long ride home together. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to him.

The waitress appeared as if she'd been called. Or watching.

"How are we doing?" she asked Edward.

"We're ready for the check, thank you." His voice was quiet, rougher, still reflecting the strain of our conversation. It seemed to muddle her. He looked up, waiting.

"S-sure," she stuttered. "Here you go." She pulled a small leather folder from the front pocket of her black apron and handed it to him.

There was a bill in his hand already. He slipped it into the folder and handed it right back to her.

"No change." He smiled. Then he stood up, and I scrambled awkwardly to my feet.

She smiled invitingly at him again. "You have a nice evening."

He didn't look away from me as he thanked her. I suppressed a smile.

He walked close beside me to the door, still careful not to touch me. I remembered what Jessica had said about her relationship with Mike, how they were almost to the first-kiss stage. I sighed. Edward seemed to hear me, and he looked down curiously. I looked at the sidewalk, grateful that he didn't seem to be able to know what I was thinking.

He opened the passenger door, holding it for me as I stepped in; I thanked him as he shut it softly behind me. I watched him walk around the front of the car, amazed, yet again, by how graceful he was. I probably should have been used to that by now; but I wasn't. I had a feeling Edward wasn't the kind of person anyone got used to.

Once inside the car, he started the engine and turned the heater on high. It had gotten very cold, and I guessed the good weather was at an end. I was warm in his jacket, breathing in the scent of it when I thought he couldn't see.

Edward pulled out through the traffic, apparently without a glance, flipping around to head toward the freeway.

"Now," he said significantly, "it's your turn."


	10. Chapter 9 Myths and Theories

Chapter 9

Myths and Theories

"Can I ask just one more?" I pleaded as Edward speed up much too quickly down the quiet street. He didn't seem to be paying any attention to the road.

He sighed.

"One," he agreed. His lips pressed together into a cautious line.

"Well… you said you knew I hadn't gone into the bookstore, and that I had gone south. I was just wondering how you knew that."

He looked away, deliberating.

"I thought we were past all this," I grumbled.

He almost smiled.

"Fine, I followed your scent." He looked at the road, giving me time to compose my face. I couldn't tell if I was shocked from reality of this or how my fandom desires were coming true. I tried to refocus. I wasn't ready to let him be finished, now that he was finally explaining things.

"And you didn't answer one of my first questions…" I proceeded.

He looked at me with disapproval. "Which one?"

"How does it work; the mind-reading thing? Can you read anybody's mind, anywhere? How do you do it? Can the rest of your family… ?" I felt silly, asking for clarification on make-believe.

"That's more than one," he pointed out. I simply smiled and waited for his answers.

"No, it's just me. And I can't hear anyone, anywhere. I have to be fairly close. The more familiar someone's… _voice_ is, the farther away I can hear them. But still, no more than a few miles." He paused thoughtfully. "It's a little like being in a huge hall filled with people, everyone talking at once. It's just a hum; a buzzing of voices in the background. Until I focus on one voice, and then what they're thinking is clear.

"Most of the time I tune it all out; it can be very distracting. And then it's easier to seem _normal"_ he frowned as he said the word "when I'm not accidentally answering someone's thoughts rather than their words."

"If you ask me being normal is over rated; course I think that because I've give up trying to normal." I grinned.

"Yes, it is…" He agreed, smiling back at me.

"So, why do you think you can't hear me?" I asked curiously.

He looked at me, his eyes mysterious.

"I don't know," he murmured. "The only guess I have is that maybe your mind doesn't work the same way the rest of theirs do. Like your thoughts are on the AM frequency and I'm only getting FM." He grinned at me, suddenly amused.

"My mind doesn't work right? I'm a freak?" Even tho I meant what I said about normal. It still bothered me to hear it; probably because his theory hit home. I'd always suspected as much, and it embarrassed me to have it confirmed.

"I hear voices in my mind and you're worried that _you're_ the freak," he laughed. "Don't worry, it's just a theory…" His face tensed. "Which brings us back to you."

I sighed. How to begin?

"Aren't we past all the evasions now?" he reminded me softly.

I looked away from his face for the first time, trying to find words. I happened to notice the speedometer.

"OH MY GOD!" I shouted. "Slow down!"

"What's wrong?" He was startled. But the car didn't lose speed.

"You're going a hundred miles an hour!" I was still shouting. I shot a panicky glance out the window, but it was too dark to see much. The road was only visible in the long patch of bluish brightness from the headlights. The forest along both sides of the road was like a black wall; as hard as a wall of steel if we veered off the road at this speed.

"Relax, Diana." He rolled his eyes, still not slowing.

"Are you trying to kill us?" I demanded; I did like the feel of going fast, but not this fast.

"We're not going to crash."

I tried to adjust my voice. "Why are you in such a hurry?"

"I always drive like this." He turned to smile crookedly at me.

"Keep your eyes on the road!"

"I've never been in an accident, Diana; I've never even gotten a ticket." He grinned and tapped his forehead. "Built in radar detector."

"Very funny." I fumed. "I was raised to obey by traffic laws. Besides, if you hit a tree trunk, you can probably just walk away."

"Probably," he agreed with a short, hard laugh. "But you can't." He sighed, and I watched with relief as the needle gradually drifted toward eighty. "Happy?"

"Almost."

"I hate driving slow," he muttered.

"This is slow?"

"Enough commentary on my driving," he snapped. "I'm still waiting for your latest theory."

I my lips snapped closes. He looked down at me, his honey eyes unexpectedly gentle.

"I won't laugh," he promised.

"I'm more afraid that you'll be angry with me."

"Is it that bad?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

He waited. I was looking down at my hands, so I couldn't see his expression.

"Go ahead." His voice was calm.

"I don't know how to begin," I admitted.

"Why don't you start at the beginning… you said you didn't come up with this on your own."

"No."

"What got you started; a book? A movie?" he probed.

"No, it was Saturday, at the beach." I risked a glance up at his face. He looked puzzled.

"I ran into a friend; Jacob Black," I continued. "His dad and he helped me and mom move-in our house."

He still looked confused.

"His dad is one of the Quileute elders." I watched him carefully. His confused expression froze in place. "We went for a walk;" I edited all my scheming out of the story "and he was telling me some old legends, trying to scare me, I think. He told me one…" I hesitated.

"Go on," he said.

"About vampires." I couldn't look at his face now. But I saw his knuckles tighten convulsively on the wheel.

"And you immediately thought of me?" Still calm.

"No. He… mentioned your family."

He was silent, staring at the road.

I was worried suddenly, worried about protecting Jacob.

"He just thought it was a silly superstition," I said quickly. "He didn't expect me to think anything of it." It didn't seem like enough; I had to confess. "It was my fault; I forced him to tell me."

"Why?"

"Lauren said something about you; she was trying to provoke me. And an older boy from the tribe said your family didn't come to the reservation, only it sounded like he meant something different. So I got Jacob alone and I tricked him into telling," I admitted, hanging my head. That was so mean of me.

He startled me by laughing. I glared up at him. He was laughing, but his eyes were fierce, staring ahead.

"Tricked him how?" he asked.

"I tried to flirt; it worked better than I thought it would." Disbelief colored my tone as I remembered.

"I'd like to have seen that." He chuckled darkly. "And you accused me of dazzling people; poor Jacob Black."

I blushed and looked out my window into the night.

"What did you do then?" he asked after a minute.

"I know some stuff about vampires; but I also did some research online."

"And did that convince you?" His voice sounded barely interested. But his hands were clamped hard onto the steering wheel.

"No, not really. Most of it was kind of silly. And then…" I stopped.

"What?"

"I decided it didn't actually matter," I whispered.

"It didn't _matter_?" His tone made me look up; I had finally broken through his carefully composed mask. His face was disbelieving, with just a hint of the anger I'd feared.

"No," I said softly. "It doesn't matter to me what you are."

A hard, mocking edge entered his voice. "You don't care if I'm a monster? If I'm not _human_!"

"No."

He was silent, staring straight ahead again. His face was bleak and cold.

"You're angry," I sighed. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"No," he said, but his tone was as hard as his face. "I'd rather know what you're thinking; even if what you're thinking is insane."

"So I'm wrong again?" I challenged.

"That's not what I was referring to. _It doesn't matter_!" he quoted, gritting his teeth together.

"I'm right?" I gasped.

"Does it _matter_?"

I took a deep breath.

"Not really, no." I paused. "But I _am_ curious." My voice, at least, was composed.

He was suddenly resigned. "What are you curious about?"

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen," he answered promptly.

"Yes, I figured as much but, how long have you been seventeen?"

His lips twitched as he stared at the road. "A while," he admitted at last.

"Okay." I smiled, pleased that he was still being honest with me. He stared down at me with watchful eyes, much as he had before, when he was worried I would go into shock. I smiled wider in encouragement, and he frowned.

"Don't laugh; but how can you come out during the day?"

He laughed anyway. "Myth."

"Burned by the sun?"

"Myth."

"Sleeping in coffins?"

"Myth." He hesitated for a moment, and a peculiar tone entered his voice. "I can't sleep."

It took me a minute to absorb that. "At all?"

"Never," he said his voice nearly inaudible. He turned to look at me with a wistful expression. The golden eyes held mine, and I lost my train of thought. I stared at him until he looked away.

"That's too bad…" I said quickly.

"And, why is that?" He asked.

"You can't dream…"

He said nothing, still looking away; we were quiet for a few minutes.

"You haven't asked me the most important question yet." His voice was hard now, and when he looked at me again his eyes were cold.

I blinked. "Which one is that?"

"You aren't concerned about my diet?" he asked sarcastically.

"Oh," I murmured, "that."

"Yes, that." His voice was bleak. "Don't you want to know if I drink blood?"

I flinched. "Well, Jacob said something about that."

"What did Jacob say?" he asked flatly.

"He said you didn't… hunt people. He said your family wasn't supposed to be dangerous because you only hunted animals."

"He said we weren't dangerous?" His voice was deeply skeptical.

"Not exactly. He said you weren't _supposed_ to be dangerous. But the Quileutes still didn't want you on their land, just in case."

He looked forward, but I couldn't tell if he was watching the road or not.

"So was he right? About not hunting people?" I tried to keep my voice as even as possible.

"The Quileutes have a long memory," he whispered.

I took it as a yes.

"Don't let that make you complacent, though," he warned me. "They're right to keep their distance from us. We are still dangerous."

"I don't understand."

"We try," he explained slowly. "We're usually very good at what we do. Sometimes we make mistakes. Me, for example, allowing myself to be alone with you."

"This is a mistake?" I heard the sadness in my voice, but I didn't know if he could as well.

"A very dangerous one," he murmured.

We were both silent then. I watched the headlights twist with the curves of the road. They moved too fast; it didn't look real, it looked like a videogame. I was aware of the time slipping away so quickly, like the black road beneath us, and I was hideously afraid that I would never have another chance to be with him like this again; so open, the walls between us gone for once. His words hinted at an end, and I withdrew from the idea. I couldn't waste one minute I had with him.

"Please, tell me more," I asked desperately, not caring what he said, just so I could hear his voice again.

He looked at me quickly, startled by the change in my tone. "What more do you want to know?"

"Tell me why you hunt animals instead of people," I suggested, my voice still tinged with desperation. I realized my eyes were wet, and I fought against the grief that was trying to overpower me.

"I don't _want_ to be a monster." His voice was very low.

"But animals aren't enough?"

He paused. "I can't be sure, of course, but I'd compare it to living on tofu and soy milk; we call ourselves vegetarians, our little inside joke. It doesn't completely satiate the hunger; or rather thirst. But it keens us strong enough to resist. Most of the time." His tone turned ominous. "Sometimes it's more difficult than others."

"Is it very difficult for you now?" I asked.

He sighed. "Yes."

"But you're not hungry now," I said confidently; really stating, not asking.

"Why do you think that?"

"Your eyes. I told you I had a theory. I've noticed that people; men in particular. Are crabbier when they're hungry."

He chuckled. "You are observant, aren't you?"

I smiled but didn't answer; I just listened to the sound of his laugh, committing it to memory.

"Were you hunting this weekend, with Emmett?" I asked when it was quiet again.

"Yes." He paused for a second, as if deciding whether or not to say something. "I didn't want to leave, but it was necessary. It's a bit easier to be around you when I'm not thirsty."

"Why didn't you want to leave?"

"It makes me… anxious… to be away from you." His eyes were gentle but intense, and they seemed to be making my bones turn soft. "I wasn't joking when I asked you to try not to fall in the ocean or get run over last Thursday. I was distracted all weekend, worrying about you. And after what happened tonight, I'm surprised that you did make it through a whole weekend unscathed." He shook his head, and then seemed to remember something. "Well, not totally unscathed."

"What?"

"Your hands," he reminded me. I looked down at my palms, at the almost-healed scrapes across the heels of my hands. His eyes missed nothing.

"I fell," I sighed. I felt the twinge of happiness floater from his words of being anxious.

"That's what I thought." His lips curved up at the corners. "I suppose, being you, it could have been much worse; and that possibility tormented me the entire time I was away. It was a very long three days. I really got on Emmett's nerves." He smiled ruefully at me.

"Three days? Didn't you just get back today?"

"No, we got back Sunday."

"Then why weren't any of you in school?" I was frustrated, almost angry as I thought of how much disappointment I had undergone because of his absence.

"Well, you asked if the sun hurt me, and it doesn't. But I can't go out in the sunlight; at least, not where anyone can see."

"Why?"

"I'll show you sometime," he promised.

I thought about it for a moment.

"You might have called me," I decided.

He was puzzled. "But I knew you were safe."

"But _I_ didn't know where _you_ were. I —" I hesitated, dropping my eyes.

"What?" His velvety voice was compelling.

"I didn't like it. Not seeing you. It made me anxious, too." I blushed to be saying this out loud.

He was quiet. I glanced up, uneasy, and saw that his expression was pained.

"Ah," he groaned quietly. "This is wrong."

I couldn't understand his response. "What did I say? What mean _this is wrong_?" I was afraid of this…rejection…he's going to reject me! 'Damnit, Diana why could you keep your big mouth shut!' I thought to myself; looking away from him on.

"Don't you see, Diana? It's one thing for me to make myself miserable, but a wholly other thing for you to be so involved." He turned his anguished eyes to the road, his words flowing almost too fast for me to understand. "I don't want to hear that you feel that way." His voice was low but urgent. His words cut me. "It's wrong. It's not safe. I'm dangerous, Diana — please, grasp that."

"No." I tried very hard not to look like a sulky child.

"I'm serious," he growled.

I looked at him anger in my eyes; starting to shout. "So am I! I told you, it doesn't matter to m! I don't care what you are! It's too late!"

His voice whipped out, low and harsh. "Never say that."

I could feel tears forming; I looked away again quickly; fuming. Glad he couldn't know how much that hurt me. So I was right…He rejected me…even if it wasn't for the reason I thought it would be; it still was a rejection. I stared out at the road. We must be close now. He was driving much too fast.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, his voice still raw. I just shook my head, not sure if I could speak with sounding heartbroken. I could feel his gaze on my face, but I kept my eyes forward.

"Are you crying?" He sounded appalled. I hadn't realized the tears in my eyes had brimmed over. I quickly rubbed my hands across my cheeks; not wanting him to see me cry.

"No," I said, but my voice cracked.

I saw him reach toward me hesitantly with his right hand, but then he stopped and placed it slowly back on the steering wheel.

"I'm sorry." His voice burned with regret. I knew he wasn't just apologizing for the words that had upset me.

The darkness slipped by us in silence.

"Tell me something," he asked after another minute, and I could hear him struggle to use a lighter tone.

"What?"

"What were you thinking tonight, just before I came around the corner? I couldn't understand your expression; you looked scared, but you also looked like you were concentrating very hard on something."

"I was trying to think of way to defend myself." I thought of the dark-haired man with a surge of hate. Still not looking at him; I had my arms folded, eyes closed, and my head resting on the window.

"You were going to fight them?" This upset him. "Didn't you think about running?"

"I'm not very fast, I would have gone too tired, and not been able to fight back." I admitted.

"What about screaming for help?"

"I was getting to that part."

He shook his head. "You were right; I'm definitely fighting fate trying to keep you alive."

"Mm-hm…" I sighed. We were slowing, passing into the boundaries of Forks. It had taken less than twenty minutes.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" I demanded.

"Yes — I have a paper due, too." He smiled. "I'll save you a seat at lunch."

It was silly, after everything we'd been through tonight, how that little promise sent flutters through my stomach, and made me unable to speak.

We were in front of my house. The lights were on, my truck in its place, everything utterly normal. It was like waking from a dream. He stopped the car, but I didn't move.

"Do you _promise_ to be there tomorrow?"

"I promise."

I considered that for a moment, then nodded. I pulled his jacket off, taking one last whiff.

"You can keep it; you don't have a jacket for tomorrow," he reminded me.

I handed it back to him. "I don't want mom asking me how I got it."

"Oh, right." He grinned.

I hesitated, my hand on the door handle, trying to the moment longer.

"Diana?" he asked in a different tone — serious, but hesitant.

"Yes?" I turned back to him; way too eager.

"Will you promise me something?"

"Sure," I said, and instantly regretted my unreserved agreement. What if he asked me to stay away from him? I couldn't keep that promise.

"Don't go into the woods alone."

I stared at him in blank confusion. "Why?"

He frowned, and his eyes were tight as he stared past me out the window.

"I'm not always the most dangerous thing out there. Let's leave it at that."

I shuddered slightly at the sudden harshness in his voice, but I was relieved. This, at least, was an easy promise to keep. "Whatever you say, Edward." I just loved that name; Edward…

"I'll see you tomorrow," he sighed, and I knew he wanted me to leave now.

"Tomorrow, then." I opened the door unwillingly.

"Diana?" I turned and he was leaning toward me, his pale, glorious face just inches from mine. My eyes widen in surprise as my heart stopped beating.

"Sleep well," he said. His breath blew in my face, stunning me. It was the same wonderful scent that clung to his jacket, but in a more concentrated form. I blinked, thoroughly dazed. He leaned away.

I was unable to move until my brain had somewhat unscrambled itself. Then I stepped out of the car awkwardly, having to use the frame for support. I thought I heard him chuckle, but the sound was too quiet for me to be certain.

He waited till I had stumbled to the front door, and then I heard his engine quietly rev. I turned to watch the silver car disappear around the corner. I realized it was very cold. After he left; a silly smile went across my face as I sighed happily. So did in a way reject me; But at least I still knew he had felling for me.

I reached into my pocket for the key, unlocked the door, and stepped inside.

Mom called from the living room. "Diana?"

"Yeah, Mama, it's me." I walked in to see her. He was watching a show on discovery heath.

"You're home early."

"Am I?" I was surprised.

"It's not even eight yet," She told me. "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, it was lots of fun. They both found dresses."

"Are you all right?"

"I'm just tired. I did a lot of walking."

"Well, maybe you should go lie down." She sounded concerned. I wondered what my face looked like.

"I'm just going to call Jessica first."

"Weren't you just with her?" She asked, surprised.

"Yes; but I left my jacket in her car. I want to make sure she'll bring it tomorrow."

"Well, give her a chance to _get_ home first."

"Right," I agreed.

I went to the kitchen and fell exhausted into a chair. I was really feeling dizzy now. I wondered if I was going to go into shock after all. Get a grip, I told myself.

The phone rang suddenly, startling me. I yanked it off the hook.

"Hello?" I asked breathlessly.

"Diana?"

"Hey, Jess, I was just going to call you."

"You made it home?" Her voice sounded relieved…and surprised.

"Yes. Um…Jess I left my jacket in your car; could you bring it to me tomorrow?"

"Sure. But tell me what happened!" she demanded.

"Um…tomorrow in Trig, okay?"

She caught on quickly. "Oh, is your Mom there?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow, then. Bye!" I could hear the impatience in her voice.

"Bye, Jess."

I walked up the stairs slowly, a heavy daze clouding my mind. I went through the motions of getting ready for bed without paying any attention to what I was doing. It wasn't until I was in the shower; the water too hot, burning my skin. I realized I was freezing. I shuddered violently for several minutes before the steaming spray could finally relax my stiff muscles. Then I stood in the shower, too tired to move, until the hot water began to run out.

I stumbled out, wrapping myself securely in a towel, trying to hold the heat from the water in so the aching shivers wouldn't return. I dressed for bed swiftly and climbed under my blanket, curling into a ball, hugging myself to keep warm. A few small shudders trembled through me.

My mind still a little dazed, full of images I couldn't understand, and some I fought to repress. Nothing seemed clear at first, but as I fell gradually closer to unconsciousness, a few certainties became clear.

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him; and I didn't know how powerful that part might be, that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was absolutely and for all time in love with him. For the first time in my life I was really in love. I smiled softly to myself as I slowly fell asleep.


	11. Chapter 10 Cross examination

Chapter 10

Cross-examination

It was very hard, in the morning, to believe that last night wasn't a dream. Logic wasn't on my side, or common sense. I clung to the parts I couldn't have imagined; like his smell. I was sure I could never have dreamed that up on my own.

It was foggy and dark outside my window, absolutely perfect. He had no reason not to be in school today. I dressed in my heavy clothes, remembering I didn't have a jacket. Further proof that my memory was real; just knowing the night was real made me so happy.

When I got downstairs, Mom was gone again; so I decided since I was alone. That would sing out loud; I sang _So this is love _from Disney's Cinderella over and over, humming the parts that did have lyrics. I was running later than I'd realized. I swallowed a granola bar in three bites, chased it down with milk straight from the carton, and then hurried out the door; starting to sing the same song over again. Hopefully the rain would hold off until I could find Jessica.

It was unusually foggy; the air was almost smoky with it. The mist was ice cold where it clung to the exposed skin on my face. I couldn't wait to get the heat going in my truck. It was such a thick fog that I was a few feet down the driveway before I realized there was a car in it; a silver car. I quickly stopped singing; my heart pounded, faltered, and then picked up again in double time. I didn't see where he came from, but suddenly he was there, pulling the door open for me.

"Do you want to ride with me today?" he asked, amused by my expression as he caught me by surprise yet again. There was uncertainty in his voice. He was really giving me a choice; I was free to refuse, and part of him hoped for that. It was a vain hope.

I choked out the word, "S-Sure," tried to keep my voice calm. As I stepped into the warm car, I noticed his tan jacket was slung over the headrest of the passenger seat. The door closed behind me, and, sooner than should be possible, he was sitting next to me, starting the car.

"I brought the jacket for you. I didn't want you to get sick or something." His voice was guarded. I noticed that he wore no jacket himself, just a light gray knit V-neck shirt with long sleeves. Again, the fabric clung to his perfectly muscled chest. It was a colossal tribute to his face that it kept my eyes away from his body.

"Thank you," I said, I pulled the jacket onto my lap, pushing my arms through the too-long sleeves, curious to see if the scent could possibly be as good as I remembered. It was better.

"By the way…?" He asked smiling. "What were you singing?"

My eyes widen in surprise; I quickly took his jacket. Covering my head with it; my cheeks red. I could hear him chuckle from under the jacket.

"Diana."

"What…" I croaked.

"won't you tell me?" He removed the jacket off my head. So I covered my face with hands; feeling the warmth from cheeks on my palms.

I shook my head; hands still on face. "No."

He breathed in my ear, "Please."

I sighed; I can't say no when did that. "Fine…" I uncovered in embarrass; I looked at my hands "So this is love; from Disney's Cinderella." After saying those I watched his reaction from the corner of my eye. Waiting for him to anger; but he just turned on the engine.

He was smiled tho he did look a little guilty; "See, that wasn't so hard."

We drove through the fog-shrouded streets, always too fast, feeling awkward. Last night all the walls were down…almost all. I didn't know if we were still being as truthful today. It left me timid. I waited for him to speak.

He turned to smirk at me. "What, no twenty questions today?"

"Do my questions bug you?" I asked, relieved.

"Not as much as your reactions do." He looked like he was joking, but I couldn't be sure.

I frowned. "Are they that bad?"

"No, that's the problem. You take everything so coolly; it's unnatural. It makes me wonder what you're really thinking."

"I always tell you what I'm really thinking."

"You edit," he accused.

"Not a lot."

"Enough to drive me insane."

"You don't want to hear it," I mumbled, almost whispered. As soon as the words were out, I regretted them. The pain in my voice was very faint; I could only hope he hadn't noticed it.

He didn't respond, and I wondered if I had ruined the mood again. His face was unreadable as we drove into the school parking lot. I suddenly realized something.

"Where's your family?" I asked; more than happy to be alone with him, but remembering that his car was usually full.

"They took Rosalie's car." He shrugged as he parked next to a glossy red car with the top up. "Ostentatious, isn't it?"

"Ostentatious?" I asked.

"It means showy; maybe I should use smaller easier words for you to understand." He said teasingly.

I narrowed my eyes at him; then stacked out my tongue. He chuckled and I looked back at his sister's car.

"Wow," I breathed. "If she has _this_, why does she ride with you?"

"Like I said, it's ostentatious, I mean showy." He fought back another laugh; "We _try_ to blend in."

"You don't really do it very well." I laughed as we got out of the car. I wasn't late anymore; his crazy driving had gotten me to school in plenty of time. "So why did Rosalie drive today if it's more noticeable?"

"Hadn't you noticed? I'm breaking _all_ the rules now." He met me at the front of the car, staying very close to my side as we walked onto campus. I wanted to close that little space between us, to reach out and touch him, but I was afraid he wouldn't like me to.

"Why do you have cars like that at all?" I wondered aloud. "If you want to blend in?"

"An indulgence," he admitted with an impish smile. "We all like to drive fast."

"Of course," I muttered under my breath.

Under the shelter of the cafeteria roof's overhang, Jessica was waiting, her eyes about to bug out of their sockets. Over her arm, bless her, was my jacket.

"Hey, Jess," I said when we were a few feet away. "Thanks for remembering." She handed me my jacket without speaking.

"Good morning, Jessica," Edward said politely. It wasn't really his fault that his voice was so appealing. Or what his eyes were capable of.

"Er… hi." She shifted her wide eyes to me, trying to gather her jumbled thoughts. "I guess I'll see you in Trig." She gave me a meaningful look, and I suppressed a sigh. What on earth was I going to tell her?

"Yeah, I'll see you then."

She walked away, pausing twice to peek back over her shoulder at us.

"What are you going to tell her?" Edward murmured.

"Hey wait, I thought you couldn't read my mind!" I hissed.

"I can't," he said, startled. Then understanding brightened his eyes. "However, I can read hers; she'll be waiting to ambush you in class."

I groaned as I pulled off his jacket and handed it to him, replacing it with my own. He folded it over his arm.

"So what are you going to tell her?"

"I don't know; um…A little help, please?" I looked at with pleading eyes. "What does she want to know?"

He shook his head, grinning wickedly. "That's not fair."

"No, you not dishing it out what you know; _that's_ not fair."

"_Dishing it out_?" He teased again.

I ignored his teasing; "Well?"

He deliberated for a moment as we walked. We stopped outside the door to my first class.

"She wants to know if we're secretly dating. And she wants to know how you feel about me," he finally said.

"oh… so what should I say?"

People were passing us on their way to class, probably staring, but I was barely aware of them.

"Hmmm." He paused to catch a stray lock of hair that was escaping the twist on my cheek and wound it back into place behind my ear. My heart spluttered hyperactively. "I suppose you could say yes to the first… if you don't mind; it's easier than any other explanation."

"Oh… Sure, I don't mind," I said in a faint voice.

"And as for her other question… well, I'll be listening to hear the answer to that one myself." One side of his mouth pulled up into my favorite uneven smile. I couldn't catch my breath soon enough to respond to that remark. He turned and walked away.

"I'll see you at lunch," he called over his shoulder. Three people walking in the door stopped to stare at me.

I hurried pass them into class, flushed and irritated. He was such a cheater. Now I was even more worried about what I was going to say to Jessica. I sat in my usual seat, folding my arms on the desk, then resting my head on them.

"Morning, Diana," Mike said from the seat next to me. I looked up to see an odd, almost resigned look on his face. "How was Port Angeles?"

"It was…" There was no honest way to sum it up. "Great," I finished lamely. "Jessica got a really cute dress."

"Did she say anything about Monday night?" he asked, his eyes brightening. I smiled at the turn the conversation had taken.

"She said she had a really good time," I assured him.

"She did?" he said eagerly.

"Yup."

Mr. Mason called the class to order then, asking us to turn in our papers. English and then Government passed in a blur, while I worried about how to explain things to Jessica and distressed over whether Edward would really be listening to what I said through the medium of Jess's thoughts. How very inconvenient his little talent could be; when it wasn't saving my life.

The fog had almost dissolved by the end of the second hour, but the day was still dark with low clouds. I smiled up at the sky.

Edward was right, of course. When I walked into Trig Jessica was sitting in the back row, nearly bouncing off her seat. I unwillingly went to sit by her, trying to convince myself it would be better to get it over with as soon as possible.

"Tell me everything!" she commanded before I was in the seat.

"What do you want to know?"

"What happened last night?"

"He bought me dinner, and then he drove me home."

She glared at me, her expression stiff with disbelief. "How did you get home so fast?"

"He drives like a maniac. It was scary." I hoped he heard that.

"Was it like a date; did you tell him to meet you there?"

I hadn't thought of that. "Well, No; I was _very_ surprised to see him there."

Her lips puckered in disappointment at the crystal clear truthfulness in my voice.

"But he picked you up for school today?" she probed.

"Yes; that was a surprise, too. He noticed I didn't have a jacket last night," I explained.

"So are you going out again?"

"He offered to drive me to a friend's house Saturday because he thinks toy truck isn't up to it. Does that count?"

"No." She frowned.

"Well, then, no."

"But still, W-o-w." She overstated the word into three syllables. "Edward Cullen."

"I know," I agreed. _Wow_ didn't even cover it.

"Wait!" Her hands flew up, palms toward me like she was stopping traffic. "Has he kissed you?"

"No," I mumbled. "It's not like that."

She looked disappointed. I'm sure I did, too.

"Do you think Saturday… ?" She raised her eyebrows.

"I don't know; I guess it depends on if he stays to hang out with me friend and me. But, I really doubt it." The restlessness in my voice was poorly disguised. I'd have to remember to ask him if we could do something else; seeing the fact that he's not allowed in La push.

"What did you talk about?" She pushed for more information in a whisper. Class had started but Mr. Varner wasn't paying close attention and we weren't the only ones still talking.

"I don't know, Jess, …stuff," I whispered back. "We talked about the English essay a little." A very, very little. I think he mentioned it in passing.

"Please, Diana," she begged. "Give me some details."

"Well… I've got one. You should have seen the waitress flirting with him; it was over the top. But he didn't pay any attention to her at all." Let him make what he could of that.

"That's a good sign," she nodded. "Was she pretty?"

"Very; and probably nineteen or twenty."

"Even better. He must like you."

"I _think_ so, but it's hard to tell. He's always so mysterious," I sighed.

"I don't know how you're brave enough to be alone with him," she breathed.

"Why?" I was shocked, but she didn't understand my reaction.

"He's so…intimidating. I wouldn't know what to say to him." She made a face, probably remembering this morning or last night, when he'd turned the overwhelming force of his eyes on her.

"I do have some trouble at times; when I'm around him," I admitted.

"Oh well. He _is_ unbelievably gorgeous." Jessica shrugged as if this excused any flaws. Which, in her book, it probably did.

"There's a lot more to him than that."

"Really? Like what?"

I wished I hadn't said anymore; she may have let it go. Almost wishing as much as I was hoping he'd been kidding about listening in.

"It's hard to explain it right… but he's even more unbelievable _behind_ the face." The vampire who wanted to be good; who ran around saving people's lives so he wouldn't be a monster… Truly a Vampire Prince charming… I stared toward the front of the room. On imagining Edward dressing like a prince then scraping the image for him in a more Gothic Prince look…Gothic looked a lot better…If Forks ever had a anime con or something like it; I'd have to beg him to go with me and Cosplay.

"Is _that possible_?" She giggled.

I ignored her, trying to look like I was paying attention to Mr. Varner; but still thinking of different Cosplays Edward would look good in.

"So you like him, then?" She wasn't about to give up.

"Yes," I said, trying to be brief.

"I mean, do you _really_ like him?" she urged.

"Yes," I said again, blushing. I hoped that detail wouldn't register in her thoughts.

She'd had enough with the single syllable answers. "How _much_ do you like him?"

"A Lot," I whispered back. "More than I should; A lot more then he likes me. But I can help that." I sighed, one blush blending into the next.

Then, thankfully, Mr. Varner called on Jessica for an answer.

Thankfully; she didn't get a chance to start on the subject again during class, and as soon as the bell rang, I took evasive action.

"In English, Mike asked me if you said anything about Monday night," I told her.

"You're kidding! What did you say?!" she gasped, completely sidetracked.

"I told him you said you had a lot of fun; he looked pleased."

"Tell me exactly what he said, and your exact answer!"

We spent the rest of the walk dissecting sentence formation and most of Spanish on a minute description of Mike's facial expressions. I wouldn't have helped draw it out for as long as I did if I wasn't worried about the subject returning to me.

And then the bell rang for lunch. As I jumped up out of my seat, shoving my books roughly in my bag, my uplifted expression must have tipped Jessica off.

"You're not sitting with us today, are you?" she guessed.

"I don't _think_ so." I couldn't be sure that he wouldn't disappear inconveniently again.

But outside the door to our Spanish class, leaning against the wall; looking more like an angel or even a god than anyone had a right to, Edward was waited for me. Jessica took one look, rolled her eyes, and left.

"See you later, Diana." Her voice was thick with implications. I might have to turn off the ringer on the phone.

"Hello." His voice was amused and irritated at the same time. He had been listening, it was obvious.

"Hi."

I couldn't think of anything else to say, and he didn't speak; biding his time, I supposed; so it was a quiet walk to the cafeteria. Walking with Edward through the crowded lunchtime rush was a lot like my first day here; everyone stared.

He led the way into the line, still not speaking, though his eyes returned to my face every few seconds, their expression speculative. It seemed to me that irritation was winning out over amusement as the dominant emotion in his face. I toyed nervously with the bottom on my sweater.

He stepped up to the counter and filled a tray with food.

"Why, so much?" I objected. "You're not getting all that for me, are you?"

He shook his head, stepping forward to buy the food.

"Half is for me, of course."

I raised an eyebrow.

He led the way to the same place we'd sat that one time before. From the other end of the long table, a group of seniors gazed at us in amazement as we sat across from each other. Edward seemed oblivious.

"Take whatever you want," he said, pushing the tray toward me.

"I was wondering," I said as I picked up a bag of chips, grabbing both side it with my hands, and opening it, "what if someone asked you to eat food?"

"You're always so curious." He grimaced, shaking his head. He glared at me, holding my eyes as he lifted the slice of pizza off the tray, and deliberately bit off a mouthful, chewed quickly, and then swallowed. I watched, surprised.

"If someone asked you to eat dirt, you could, couldn't you?" he asked condescendingly.

I wrinkled my nose. "Yeah, I guess so," I stunk out my tongue in discussed. "I'd never do it tho."

He laughed. "Of course, you won't." Something over my shoulder seemed to catch his attention.

"Jessica's analyzing everything I do; she'll break it down for you later." He pushed the rest of the pizza toward me. The mention of Jessica brought a hint of his former irritation back to his features.

I put down the chips and took a bite of the pizza, looking away, knowing he was about to start.

"So the waitress was pretty, was she?" he asked carelessly.

"Yes, you didn't notice?"

"No. I wasn't paying attention. I had a lot on my mind."

"Poor girl."

"Something you said to Jessica… well, it bothers me." He refused to be distracted. His voice was husky, and he glanced up from under his lashes with troubled eyes.

"I'm not surprised you heard something you didn't like. You know what they say about eavesdroppers," I reminded him.

"I warned you I would be listening."

"And I warned you that you didn't want to know everything I was thinking."

"You did," he agreed, but his voice was still rough. "You aren't precisely right, though. I do want to know what you're thinking; everything. I just wish…that you wouldn't be thinking some things." I scowled.

"But that's not really the point at the moment."

"Then what is?" We were tending toward each other across the table now. He had his large pale hands folded under his chin; I leaned forward, my right hand under my chin. I had to remind myself that we were in a crowded lunchroom, with most likely many curious eyes on us. It was too easy to get wrapped up in our own private, tense little bubble.

"Do you truly believe that you care more for me than I do for you?" he murmured, leaning closer to me as he spoke, his dark golden eyes piercing.

I tried to remember how to exhale. I had to look away before it came back to me.

"You're doing it again," I muttered.

His eyes opened wide with surprise. "What?"

"Dazzling me," I admitted, trying to concentrate as I looked back at him.

"Oh." He frowned.

"It's not your fault," I sighed. "You can't help it."

"Are you going to answer the question?"

I looked down. "Yeah."

"Yes, you are going to answer, or yes, you really think that?" He was irritated again.

"Yes, I really think that." I kept my eyes down on the table. The silence dragged on. I refused to be the first to break it this time, fighting hard against the temptation to peek at his expression.

Finally he spoke, voice velvet soft. "You're wrong."

I glanced up to see that his eyes were gentle.

"You can't really know that," I disagreed in a whisper. I shook my head in doubt, though my heart throbbed at his words and I wanted so badly to believe them.

"What makes you think so?" His liquid topaz eyes were piercing; trying pointlessly, I assumed, to lift the truth straight from my mind.

I stared back, struggling to think clearly in spite of his face, to find some way to explain. As I searched for the words, I could see him getting impatient; frustrated by my silence, he started to scowl. I lifted my hand from my chin, and held up one finger.

"Give me a minute; let me think," I insisted. His expression cleared, now that he was satisfied that I was planning to answer. I dropped my hand to the table, moving my left hand so that my palms were pressed together. I stared at my hands, twisting and untwisting my fingers, as I finally spoke.

"Well, aside from the obvious of course, sometimes…" I hesitated. "I can't be sure; but at times. It seems like you're trying to say goodbye when you're saying something else. Does that make scene?" That was the best I could sum up the sensation of anguish that his words triggered in me at times.

"Perceptive," he whispered. And there was the anguish again, surfacing as he confirmed my fear. "That's exactly why you're wrong, though," he began to explain, but then his eyes narrowed. "What do you mean, 'the obvious'?"

"Well, look at me," I said, unnecessarily as he was already staring. " For one thing, I'm absolutely not the kind of girl for a…" I stopped changing the sentence. "I'm ordinary!; well, except for all the bad things like all the near-death experiences and being so clumsy that I'm almost disabled. And look at you." I waved my hand toward him and all his bewildering perfection.

His brow creased angrily for a moment, then smoothed as his eyes took on a knowing look. "You don't see yourself very clearly, you know. I'll admit you're dead-on about the bad things," he chuckled blackly, "but you didn't hear what every human male in this school was thinking on your first day."

I blinked, dumbfounded. "I doubt that so highly…" I mumbled to myself.

"Trust me just this once; you are the opposite of ordinary."

My embarrassment was much stronger than my pleasure at the look that came into his eyes when he said this. I quickly reminded him of my original argument.

"But I'm not saying goodbye," I pointed out.

"Don't you see? That's what proves me right. I care the most, because if I can do it." He shook his head, seeming to struggle with the thought. "If leaving is the right thing to do, then I'll hurt myself to keep from hurting you, to keep you safe."

I glared. "And you don't think I would do the same?"

"You'd never have to make the choice."

"I think; if you cared for something so much; you'd fight to keep it alive." I said, not wanting to argue with him; but just wanting to let him know how I felt in the matter.

Thankfully he didn't think to disagree, "Again, you'll never have to make the choice."

Unexpectedly, his random mood shifted again; a mischievous, overwhelming smile rearranged his features. "Of course, keeping you safe is beginning to feel like a full-time occupation that requires my constant presence."

"I swear this kind of stuff never happened to me till I moved to forks." I reminded him, grateful for the lighter subject. I didn't want him to talk about goodbyes anymore.

"really?" He said with doubt in voice.

"Yup, and at least no one has tried to do away with me today" I pointed out.

"Yet," he added.

"Yet," I agreed; I would have argued, but now I wanted him to be expecting disasters.

"I have another question for you." His face was still casual.

"Go ahead."

"Do you really need to go to your friend's house Saturday, or was that just an excuse to _get_ out of saying no to all your admirers?"

I made a face at the memory. "You know, I haven't completely forgiven you for the Tyler thing yet," I warned him. "It's your fault that he's thinks I'm going to prom with him."

"Oh, he would have found a chance to ask you without me; I just really wanted to watch your face," he chuckled, I would have been angrier if his laughter wasn't so fascinating. "If I'd asked you, would you have turned _me_ down?" he asked, still laughing to himself.

"Probably not," I admitted. "But I would have canceled later; faked an illness."

He was puzzled. "Why would you do that?"

I shook my head sadly. "I don't really like school dances; I find them well, boring."

"Boring; Diana, are you hiding the fact that you can't walk across a flat, stable surface without finding something to trip over?"

"I'm not that clumsy..."

"Regardless." He was very confident. "I think you'd like dances if had the right dance partner, it's all in the leading." He could see that I was about to protest, and he cut me off. "But you never told me; are you resolved on going to visit your friend, or do you mind if we do something different?"

As long as the "we" part was in, I didn't care about anything else.

"Well, I was going to change anyway…"

"were you?" He said puzzled.

"yes, let's just say my friend's house is on forbidden land, for Cullens at least." A second after I said this, He know what I meant; I think was about to ask who was my friend. But quickly cut him off. " I'm open to alternatives, but I do have a favor to ask."

He looked wary, as he always did when I asked an open-ended question. "What?"

"Can use my car?"

He frowned. "Why?"

"Well, mostly because when I told my mom I was going to visit a friend, she specifically asked if I was going alone and, at the time, I was. If she asked again, I probably wouldn't lie, but I don't think she _will_ ask again, and leaving my truck at home would just bring up the subject unnecessarily. And also, because you're driving scares me."

He rolled his eyes. "Of all the things about me that could frighten you, you worry about my driving." He shook his head in disgust, but then his eyes were serious again. "Won't you want to tell your mother that you're spending the day with me?" There was an undercurrent to his question that I didn't understand.

"Mom isn't king on me being alone with boys…" I was definite about that. "Where are we going, anyway?"

"The weather will be nice, so I'll be staying out of the public eye… and you can stay with me, if you'd like to." Again, he was leaving the choice up to me.

"And you'll show me what you meant, about the sun?" I asked, excited by the idea of unraveling another of the unknowns.

"Yes." He smiled, and then paused. "But if you don't want to be… alone with me, see your mother rule on boys; I'd still rather you didn't go alone to your friend's home. I shudder to think of the trouble you could find on your way there."

I rolled my eyes. "Your silly, I'd make there in one piece; with or with you."

"I'd rather you stayed near me." His eyes did that unfair smoldering thing again.

I couldn't argue, with the eyes or the motivation, and it was a moot point anyway. "As it happens, I don't mind being alone with you."

"I know," he sighed, brooding. "You should still tell your mother, though."

"Why?"

His eyes were suddenly fierce. "To give me some small incentive to bring you back."

I gulped. But, after a moment of thought, I was sure. "I think I'll take my chances."

He exhaled angrily, and looked away.

"Let's talk about something else," I suggested.

"What do you want to talk about?" he asked. He was still annoyed.

I glanced around us, making sure we were well out of anyone's hearing. As I cast my eyes around the room, I caught the eyes of his sister, Alice, staring at me. The others were looking at Edward. I smiled friendly back at her, and then looked away swiftly, back to him, and I. asked the first thing that came to mind.

"Why did you go to that Goat Rocks place last weekend… to hunt?"

"Yes, there are a good amount of bears."

"Bears?" I gasped, and he smirked. "You know, bears are not in season," I added sternly, to hide my shock.

"If you read carefully, the laws only cover hunting with weapons," he informed me.

He watched my face with enjoyment as that slowly sank in.

"Bears?" I repeated.

"Grizzly is Emmett's favorite." His voice was still offhand, but his eyes were analyzing my reaction. I tried to pull myself together.

"Hmmm," I said, taking another bite of pizza as an excuse to look down. I chewed slowly, and then took a long drink of Coke without looking up.

"So," I said after a moment, finally meeting his now-anxious gaze. "What's your favorite?"

He raised an eyebrow and the corners of his mouth turned down in disapproval. "Mountain lion."

"Oh," I said in a politely disinterested tone, looking for my soda again.

"Of course," he said, and his tone mirrored mine, "we have to be careful not to impact the environment with injudicious hunting. We try to focus on areas with an overpopulation of predators; ranging as far away as we need. There's always plenty of deer and elk here, and they'll do, but where's the fun in that?" He smiled teasingly.

"Where indeed," I murmured around another bite of pizza.

"Early spring is Emmett's favorite bear season; they're just coming out of hibernation, so they're more irritable." He smiled at some remembered joke.

"Nothing more fun than a mad bear," I agreed.

He snickered, shaking his head. "Tell me what you're really thinking, please."

"I'm trying to picture it; but it's hard," I admitted. "How do you hunt a bear without weapons?"

"Oh, we have weapons." He flashed his bright teeth in a brief, threatening smile. I should have guessed that; I did love fictional vampires after all. Still new the real one; so I wasn't sure how I felt about them. I knew one; I did like the good ones. He continued as I was in med thought. "Just not the kind they consider when writing hunting laws. If you've ever seen a bear attack on television, you should be able to visualize Emmett hunting."

I a shiver that flashed down my spine, I peeked across the cafeteria toward Emmett, grateful that he wasn't looking my way. The thick bands of muscle that wrapped his arms and torso were somehow even more menacing now.

Edward followed my gaze and chuckled. I stared at him, unnerved.

"Are you like a bear, too?" I asked in a low voice.

"More like the lion, or so they tell me," he said lightly. "Perhaps our preferences are indicative."

I'd smiled. "Maybe," I started. But my mind was filled with opposing images that I couldn't merge together. "That's something I might get to see?"

"Absolutely not!" His face turned even paler than usual, and his eyes were suddenly furious. I leaned back, stunned and though I'd never admit it to him; frightened by his reaction. He leaned back as well, folding his arms across his chest.

"Too scary for me?" I asked when I could control my voice again.

"If that were it, I would take you out tonight," he said, his voice cutting. "You _need_ a healthy dose of fear. Nothing could be more beneficial for you."

"Then why?" I pressed, trying to ignore his angry expression.

He glared at me for a long minute.

"Later," he finally said. He was on his feet in one lithe movement. "We're going to be late."

I glanced around, startled to see that he was right and the cafeteria was nearly empty. When I was with him, the time and the place were such a blur that I completely lost track of both. I jumped up, grabbing my bag from the back of my chair.

"Later, then," I agreed. I wouldn't forget.


	12. Chapter 11 Problems

**Chapter 11**

**Problems**

As we enter the room; all eyes were on us, watching as we walked together to our lab table. I noticed that he didn't do his normal angling of the chair to sit as far from me as the desk would allow. Instead, he sat quite close beside me, our arms almost touching; I couldn't help but smile at this.

Mr. Banner backed into the room; pulling a tall metal frame on wheels that held a heavy-looking, outdated TV and VCR. A movie day, the lift in the class atmosphere was almost tangible.

Mr. Banner shoved the tape into the reluctant VCR and walked to the wall to turn off the lights.

The room went black; I crossed my arms on the table, resting my head on top of them. The opening credits began, lighting the room by a token amount. My eyes flickered to him. I smiled at him warmly, his arms across his chest, hands balling into fists peering down at me. He grinned back, his eyes somehow managing to smolder, even in the dark. I looked away before he dazzles me again. It was absolutely ridiculous how he had that effect on me.

The hour seemed very long. I didn't pay the movie any attention. Occasionally I would permit myself a quick glance in his direction, but he never seemed to relax. I tried unsuccessfully to not fall asleep, my eyes felt so heavy; a few times I did nod off but I quickly opened my eyes before I could fully dozes off. I breathed a sigh of relief when Mr. Banner flicked the lights back on at the end of class, and stretched my arms, moving them out in front of me, flexing my stiff fingers. Edward chuckled beside me.

"Well, that was interesting," he murmured. His voice was dark and his eyes were cautious.

"Uh-huh," was all I was able to respond.

"Shall we?" he asked, rising fluidly.

"Time for Gym." I groaned.

He walked me to my next class in silence and paused at the door; I turned to him to say goodbye but the expression on his face startled me. It was torn, almost pained, and yet so intensely beautiful. My goodbye stuck in my throat.

He raised his hand, hesitant, conflict raging in his eyes, and then swiftly brushed the length of my cheekbone with his fingertips. His skin was as icy as ever, but the trail his fingers left on my skin was alarmingly warmer then usual. Like I'd been burned, but didn't feel the pain of it yet.

He turned without a word and strode quickly away from me. I watched him go confused; I wished He could have stayed and I won't have to go to gym…God, I hate gym…

I walked into the gym, a light lightheaded; I guess to much blood flowing to my cheeks. I drifted to the locker room, changing in a shorts and a t-shirt, only vaguely aware that there were other people surrounding me. Reality didn't fully set in until I was handed a racket. It wasn't heavy, yet it felt very unsafe in my hand. I could see a few of the other kids in class eyeing me furtively. Coach Clapp ordered us to pair up into teams.

Luckily, some remainder of Mike's good manners still survived; he came to stand beside me.

"Do you want to be a team?"

"Thanks, Mike; But you don't have to do this, you know." I grimaced apologetically.

"Don't worry; I'll keep out of your way." He grinned. Sometimes it was so easy to like Mike.

It didn't go smoothly. I managed to hit myself in the head with my racket and clip Mike's shoulder on the same swing. I think I apologized like a million times to him before spending the rest of the hour in the back corner of the court, the racket held safely at my side. In spite of being handicapped by me, Mike was pretty good; he won three games out of four single-handedly, of course. He gave me an unearned high five when the coach finally blew the whistle ending class.

"So," he said as we walked off the court.

"So?"

"You and Cullen, huh?" he asked, his tone rebellious. My previous feeling of affection disappeared.

"Yeah, I guess…I'm not even sure that we are a couple, and beside that's not really any of your concern, Mike." I warned; I really wasn't sure about us; Edward didn't really say that we really were one just that it would a good reason for Jessica. Speaking of her; she needs a nice trip straight to the pits of Hades.

"I don't like it," he muttered.

"You don't have to," I snapped.

"He looks at you like…like you're something to eat," he continued, ignoring me.

I tried my best to not laugh my butt off, seeing how he was kind of right; but a small giggle managed to get out despite my best efforts. He frowned at me. I waved and fled to the locker room.

I changed quickly, something stronger than butterflies beating recklessly against the walls of my stomach, my brief argument with Mike already a distant memory. I couldn't help but wondered if Edward would be waiting, or if I should meet him at his car. What if his family was there? I felt a wave of real terror. Did they know that I knew? Was I supposed to know that they knew that I knew, or not? Hm…That's a tongue twirler…

By the time I walked out of the gym, I had just about decided to walk straight home without even looking toward the parking lot. But my worries were unnecessary. Edward was waiting, leaning carelessly against the side of the gym, his breathtaking face untroubled now. As I walked to his side, I felt an odd sense of freedom.

"Hi," I breathed, smiling hugely.

"Hello." His answering smile was brilliant. "How was Gym?"

My face fell a bit. "Horrible, as always."

"Really?" He looked amused. His eyes shifted their focus slightly, looking over my shoulder and narrowing. I glanced behind me to see Mike's back as he walked away.

"What?" I asked, curious.

His eyes slid back to mine, still tight. "Newton's getting on my nerves."

"You weren't listening again?" I was horror-struck. All traces of my sudden good mood vanished.

"How's your head?" he asked innocently.

"For the love of peat! You're unbelievable!" I turned, stomping away in the general direction of the parking lot, though I hadn't ruled out walking at this point, tho I hate the idea of walking.

He kept up with me easily.

"You really seem to not like gym; it made me curious." He didn't sound apologetic, so I ignored him.

We walked in silence; an angry and embarrassed silence for me, to his car. But I had to stop a few steps away; a crowd of people, all boys, were surrounding it.

Then I realized they weren't surrounding his car, they were actually circled around Rosalie's red car, with unmistakable lust in their eyes. None of them even looked up as Edward slid between them to open his door. I climbed quickly in the passenger side also unnoticed.

"Ostentatious," he muttered.

"Remember; use small words…" I smiled to myself.

He chuckled. "So what kind of car is it?" I asked.

"An M3."

"I don't speak Ca_r and Driver_."

"It's a BMW." He rolled his eyes, not looking at me, trying to back out without running over the car fanatics.

I nodded; I think I've heard of that one.

"Are you still angry?" he asked as he carefully planned his way out.

"Most definitely." I said, closing my eyes as I rested back into the seat.

He sighed. "Will you forgive me if I apologize?"

"Maybe… if you mean it. And if you promise not to do it again," I insisted; opening my eyes a bit to peek at look at his reaction.

His eyes were suddenly insightful. "How about if I mean it, _and_ I agree to let you drive Saturday?" he countered my conditions.

I considered, and decided it was probably the best offer I would get. "Alright," I agreed.

"Then I'm very sorry I upset you." His eyes burned with sincerity for a protracted moment; then turned playful. "And I'll be on your doorstep bright and early Saturday morning."

"Um, it doesn't help with the Mom situation if you're at my doorstep well she's home and, or an unexplained Volvo is left in the driveway."

His smile was condescending now. "I wasn't intending to bring a car."

"Then how would you —"

He cut me off. "Don't worry about it. I'll be there, no car."

I let it go. I had a more pressing question.

"Is it later yet?" I asked meaningfully.

He frowned. "I supposed it is later."

I kept my expression polite as I waited.

He stopped the car. I looked up, surprised; of course we were already at my house, parked behind the truck. It was easier to ride with him if I only looked when it was over. When I looked back at him, he was staring at me, measuring with his eyes.

"And you still want to know why you can't see me hunt?" He seemed serious, but I thought I saw a trace of humor deep in his eyes.

"Well," I explained, "I was mostly wondering about your reaction."

"Did I frighten you?" Yes, there was definitely humor there.

"Not really, no." I lied. He didn't buy it.

"I apologize for scaring you," he continued with a slight smile, but then all evidence of teasing disappeared. "It was just the very thought of you being there…while we hunted." His jaw tightened.

"Would it really be bad thing?"

He spoke from between clenched teeth. "Extremely."

"Why…?"

He took a deep breath and stared through the windshield at the thick, rolling clouds that seemed to press down, almost within reach.

"When we hunt," he spoke slowly, unwillingly, "we give ourselves over to our senses…govern less with our minds. Especially our sense of smell. If you were anywhere near me when I lost control that way…" He shook his head, still gazing resentfully at the heavy clouds.

I kept my expression firmly under control, expecting the swift flash of his eyes to judge my reaction that soon followed. I hoped my face didn't give anything away; I was a little scared at this fact, that didn't stop the still wanting feeling I had to be with him.

Our eyes held, and the silence deepened, and changed. Flickers of the electricity I'd a sudden feeling that my head was swimming realizing I wasn't breathing. When I drew in a jagged breath, breaking the stillness, he closed his eyes.

"Diana, I think you should go inside now." His low voice was rough, his eyes on the clouds again.

I semi-unwillingly opened the door, and the frosty draft that burst into the car helped clear my head. Afraid I might stumble in my woozy state; I stepped carefully out of the car and shut the door behind me without looking back. The whir of the automatic window unrolling made me turn.

"Oh, Diana?" he called after me, his voice more even. He leaned toward the open window with a faint smile on his lips.

"Yes?"

"Tomorrow it's my turn."

"Your turn, for what?"

He smiled wider, flashing his gleaming teeth. "Ask the questions."

And then he was gone, the car speeding down the street and disappearing around the corner before I could even collect my thoughts. I let a small laugh before smiling as I walked to the house. It was clear he was planning to see me tomorrow, if nothing else.

That night Edward starred in my dreams, as usual. However, the mood of my unconsciousness had changed. It thrilled with the craziness of yesterday; I tossed and turned restlessly, waking often. It was only in the early hours of the morning that I finally sank into an exhausted, dreamless sleep.

When I woke I was still tired. I pulled on my green turtleneck and a pair of clean black cotton pants. Breakfast was the usual, quiet event. Mom fried eggs for herself; I had a bagel with cream cheese with a slice of American cheese in the middle. I wondered if she had forgotten about this Saturday. She quickly answered my unspoken question as she stood up to take her plate to the sink.

"About this Saturday…" she began, walking across the kitchen and turning on the faucet.

I winced. "Yeah?"

"Are you still going to Jacob's house?" he asked.

"That was the plan." I grimaced, wishing she hadn't brought it up I really didn't want her to find about Edward just yet and really didn't want to lie to her.

She washed water her dish before placing it the dish washer. "And you're sure you can't make it back in time for the dance?"

"I'm not going to the dance, Mom." I glared; why is she so sudden interested if I do school dances or not?

"Didn't anyone ask you?" she asked; the concern very plain in her voice.

"It's a girl's choice dance, mom."

"Oh." She frowned.

Mom left then, with a goodbye wave, and I went upstairs to brush my teeth and gather my things. When I heard the van pull away, I could only wait a few seconds before I had to peek out of my window. The silver car was already there, waiting in Mom's spot on the driveway. I bounded happily down the stairs and out the front door, wondering how long this bizarre routine would continue. I never wanted it to end.

He waited in the car, not appearing to watch as I shut the door behind me without bothering to lock the dead-bolt. I walked to the car, pausing shyly before opening the door and stepping in. He was smiling, relaxed and, as usual so perfect and beautiful to an unbearable degree, in a good way of course.

"Good morning." His voice was silky. "How are you today?" His eyes wandered over my face, as if his question was something more than simple good manners.

"Good, thanks." I was always good; much more than just good, when I was near him.

His gaze lingered on the circles under my eyes. "You look tired."

"I always look tired." I smirked

He smirked back. "More tired then usual."

"I couldn't sleep," I confessed.

"Neither could I," he teased as he started the engine. I was becoming used to the quiet purr. I was sure the roar of my truck would scare me, whenever I got to drive it again.

I laughed. ""That's right. I slept just a little bit more than you did, huh?"

"I'd wager you did."

"I was wondering about something, that I want to ask you about." I started.

He chuckled. "Not a chance. It's my day to ask questions."

"Oh, yeah; So…Um…What do you want to know?" I couldn't imagine anything about me that could be in anyway interesting to him.

"What's your favorite color?" he asked; his face was a funny serious, that I couldn't help but let out a small giggle.

"Black, Red, and Green."

"Why, three different colors?" He was still serious that I had to purées my lips for a bit to not start laughing.

"Be…Because they go so well together."

He snorted, dropping his serious expression. "Is that the only reason?" he asked skeptically.

"Yup, I love how red and black go so well together and how red green go together," I complained.

He considered for a moment, staring into my eyes.

"You're right," he decided, serious again. "That is a good reason." He reached over, swiftly, but somehow still hesitantly, to sweep some of my hair that got loss, behind my ear. Making my heart through a big fit.

We were at the school with in what seemed seconds. He turned back to me as he pulled into a parking space.

"What music is in your CD player right now?" he asked his face as serious as if he'd asked for a murder confession.

I realized I'd never removed the evanescense CD from my CD player. When I said the name of the band, he looked at me confused. "It's a gothic band." I explained

"I never thought you'd be a goth." He raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not; well not actually I like that style of clothes and music. But I'm not really all brooding and deep, if that makes any scene."

He seemed to be thinking about what I was trying to say; He then nodded. "I think I can see your interest in it." He looked me over from top to bottom.

"What?" I asked a little confused; myself now.

"Nothing, I'm just trying to picture you wearing that type of clothing."

"oh…well?" I asked, now curious.

"I'd say you would good in anything you wear…" That made me blush in turn made him smile. "…But I'd have to say that style would suit you very well…"

"Thanks" I smiled.

"You're very welcome."

It continued like that for the rest of the day. While he walked me to English, when he met me after Spanish, all through the lunch hour, he questioned me relentlessly about every unimportant detail of my existence. Movies I'd liked and hated, the very few places I'd been and the many places I wanted to go, hobbies and books.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd talked so much. More often than not, I felt self-conscious, certain I must be boring him. But the absolute absorption of his face, and his never-ending stream of questions, compelled me to continue. Mostly his questions were easy, only a very few triggering my easy blushes. But when I did flush, it brought on a whole new round of questions.

He'd been tossing questions at me with such speed; that I would answer with out thinking, and then I would have to check myself. I felt like I was taking one of those psychiatric tests where you answer with the first word that comes to mind.

"What kinds of flowers do you prefer?" he fired off.

I sighed; "Red Roses…"

"Are these questions bothering you?" He sounded apologetic.

"No, it's just your going so fast I don't think my brain can keep up."

"Sorry, I'll go slower." He smiled that half smile I loved.

"Thanks."

"Anytime," He said before continuing with the psychoanalysis.

Biology was another lay back day. Edward had continued with his quizzing up until Mr. Banner entered the room, dragging the audiovisual frame again. As the teacher approached the light switch, I noticed Edward slide his chair slightly farther away from mine. I row an eye brow, a little confused; but brushed it off.

I leaned forward on the table, resting my chin on my folded arms, I took this chant to rest from all the questions; I slowly closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. When I woke; Mr. Banner had just turned the lights on, I glanced at Edward; he was looking at me, his eyes unsure.

He rose in silence and then stood still, waiting for me. We walked toward the gym in silence, like yesterday. And, also like yesterday, he touched my face wordlessly; this time with the back of his cool hand, stroking once from my temple to my jaw. Before he turned and walked away. I sighed happily; touching the cheek he had just touched.

Gym passed quickly as I watched Mike's one-man badminton show. He didn't speak to me today, either in response to my mostly likely in love expression or because he was still angry about our fight yesterday. Somewhere, in a corner of my mind, I felt bad about that. But I couldn't focus on him. My mind was filled with thoughts of Edward.

I hurried to change afterward, very eager, knowing the faster I moved, the sooner I would be with Edward. Eventually I made it out the door, feeling the same freedom when I saw him standing there, a wide smile automatically spreading across my face. He smiled in reaction before launching into more cross-examination.

His questions were different now, not as easily answered. He wanted to know what I missed about Florida, insisting on descriptions of anything he wasn't familiar with. We sat in front of my house for hours, as the sky darkened and rain plummeted around us in a sudden overflow.

I tried to describe impossible things like the feeling overflowing happiness I got from just going to Disney. That just going to that theme park was like being a kid again. I found myself using my hands as I tried to describe it to him. Finally, when I had finished detailing my cluttered room at up stairs, he paused instead of responding with another question.

"Are you done?" I asked in relief.

"Not even close; but your Mother will be home soon."

"Mom!" I suddenly recalled her existence, and sighed. I looked out at the rain-darkened sky, but it gave nothing away. "How late is it?" I wondered out loud as I glanced at my cell phone's clock. I was surprised by the time; mom would be driving home now.

"It's twilight," Edward murmured, His voice was thoughtful, as if his mind were somewhere far away. I stared at him as he gazed unseeingly out the windshield.

I was still staring when his eyes suddenly shifted back to mine.

"It's the safest time of day for us," he said, answering the unspoken question in my eyes. "The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way… the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?" He smiled wistfully.

"predictable?" I asked.

He chuckled before answering. "It means unsurprising, expected, boring."

" Oh…Well I like the night. Without the dark, we'd never see the Moon or the stars." I frowned. "Be like where I used to live you can't really see them much; mostly just the moon."

He laughed, and the mood unexpectedly lightened.

"She will be here in a few minutes. So, unless you want to tell her that you'll be with me Saturday…" He raised one eyebrow.

"Thanks, but no thanks." I gathered my stuff, realizing I was stiff from sitting still so long. "So is it my turn tomorrow, then?"

"Certainly not!" His face was teasingly outraged. "I told you I wasn't done, didn't I?"

"What more could there be?"

"You'll find out tomorrow." He reached across to open my door for me, and his sudden closeness sent my heart into hyper drive.

But his hand froze on the handle.

"Not good," he muttered.

"What?" I was surprised to see that his jaw was clenched, his eyes disturbed.

He glanced at me for a brief second. "Another problem," he said glumly.

He flung the door open in one swift movement, and then moved, almost cringed, swiftly away from me.

The flash of headlights through the rain caught my attention as a dark car pulled up to the curb just a few feet away, facing us.

"Your Mother is around the corner," he warned, staring through the downpour at the other vehicle.

I hopped out at once, despite my confusion and curiosity. The rain was louder as it was soaked into my sweater.

I tried to make out the shapes in the front seat of the other car, but it was too dark. I could see Edward illuminated in the glare of the new car's headlights; he was still staring ahead, his gaze locked on something or someone I couldn't see. His expression was a strange mix of frustration and defiance.

Then he revved the engine, and the tires squealed against the wet pavement. The sliver car was out of sight in seconds.

"Hey, Diana," called a familiar, husky voice from the driver's side of the little black car.

"Jacob?" I asked, squinting through the rain. The rain drops on glasses making it even harder to see him. Just then, Mom's van swung around the corner, her lights shining on the dwellers of the car in front of me.

Jacob was already climbing out, his wide grin visible even through the darkness. In the passenger seat was a much older man, a heavyset man with a memorable face; a face that overflowed, the cheeks resting against his shoulders, with creases running through the russet skin like an old leather jacket. And the surprisingly familiar eyes, black eyes that seemed at the same time both too young and too ancient for the broad face they were set in. Jacob's father, Billy Black. I knew him immediately, though I couldn't recall the last I've seen him; and though I managed to forget his name when Mom had spoken of him. He was staring at me, examining my face, so I smiled uncertainly at him. His eyes were wide, as if in shock or fear, his nostrils flared. My smile faded.

Another problem, Edward had said.

Billy still stared at me with intense, worried eyes. I groaned inside. Had Billy recognized Edward so easily? Did he really believe the impossible legends his son had made fun of?

The answer was clear in Billy's eyes. Yes. Yes, he did.


	13. Chapter 12 Harmonizing

**Chapter 12**

**Harmonizing**

"Billy! Jacob!" Mom called as soon as she got out of the van.

I turned toward the house, signaling to follow Jacob as I ducked under the porch. I heard Mom greeting them behind me.

I unlocked the door and flicked on the porch light. I went inside, leaving the door open behind me and turning on light; I stood in the door, watching worriedly as Jacob helped Billy out of the car and into his wheelchair.

I backed out of the way as the three of them hurried in, shaking off the rain.

"This is a surprise," Mom was saying.

"It's nice to see you," Billy answered. "I hope it's not a bad time." His dark eyes flashed up to me again, their expression unreadable.

"No, it's great. Stay as long as you both like; my home is your home."

Jacob grinned. "I think that's the plan; our TV broke last week and dad and I were hoping to watch the game."

Billy made a face at his son. "And, of course, Jacob was anxious to see Diana again," he added. Jacob scowled and ducked his head while I fought back a giggle. Maybe I'd been too convincing on the beach.

"Are you hungry?" I asked, turning toward the kitchen. I was eager to escape Billy's searching gaze.

"Naw, we ate just before we came," Jacob answered.

"How about you, Mom?" I called over my shoulder as I fled around the corner.

"Sure," she replied, her voice moving in the direction of the front room and the TV. I could hear Billy's chair follow.

I started to make some turkey sandwiches; I was slicing up a tomato when I sensed someone behind me.

"So, how are things?" Jacob asked.

"Pretty good," I smiled. His eagerness was hard to resist. "How about you? Did you finish your car?"

"No." He frowned. "I still need parts. We borrowed that one." He pointed with his thumb in the direction of the front yard.

"Sorry. I haven't seen any… what was it you were looking for?"

"Master cylinder." He grinned. "Is something wrong with the truck?" he added suddenly.

"No."

"Oh. I just wondered because you weren't driving it."

I stared down at the sandwiches, putting the tomato aside; I start to put mayo on the bread. "I got a ride with a friend."

"Nice ride." Jacob's voice was admiring. "I didn't recognize the driver, though. I thought I knew most of the kids around here."

I nodded, keeping my eyes down as I prepared the sandwiches.

"My dad seemed to know him from somewhere."

"Jacob, could you hand me some plates? They're in the cupboard next to the sink."

"Sure."

He got the plates in silence. I hoped he would let it drop now.

"So who was it?" he asked, setting two plates on the counter next to me.

I sighed in defeat. "Edward Cullen."

To my surprise, he laughed. I glanced up at him. He looked a little embarrassed.

"Guess that explains it, then," he said. "I wondered why my dad was acting so strange."

"That's right." I faked an innocent expression. "He doesn't like the Cullens."

"Superstitious old man," Jacob muttered under his breath.

"You don't think he'd say anything to Mom?" I couldn't help asking, the words coming out in a low rush.

Jacob stared at me for a moment, and I couldn't read the expression in his dark eyes. "I doubt it," he finally answered. "I think She'd chew him out if he said anything. Your mom seems to really like the Cullens; I don't think he'd bring it up again."

"Oh," I said, trying to sound uncaring.

I stayed in the room after I carried the food out to mom, pretending to watch the game while Jacob chattered at me. I was really listening to the parents's conversation, watching for any sign that Billy was about to rat me out, trying to think of ways to stop him if he began.

It was a long night. I had a lot of homework that was going undone, but I was afraid to leave Billy alone with Mom. Finally, the game ended. Mom wasn't a fan sports but she seem to have a lot of fun just watching the game and chatting with Billy. If I wasn't so directed by what Billy may say; I'd start wondering if there was something going on between those two.

"Are you and your friends coming back to the beach soon?" Jacob asked as he pushed his father over the lip of the threshold.

"I'm not sure."

"That was fun, Rachel," Billy said.

"Come up for the next game," She encouraged; which surprised me.

"Sure, sure," Billy said. "We'll be here. Have a good night." His eyes shifted to mine, and his smile disappeared. "You take care, Diana," he added seriously.

"Thanks," I muttered, looking away.

I headed for the stairs while Mom waved from the doorway.

"Wait, Diana," he said.

I cringed. Had Billy said something before I joined them in the TV room?

But Mom was relaxed, still grinning from the unexpected visit.

"I didn't get a chance to talk to you tonight, Honey. How was your day?"

"Good." I paused with one foot on the first stair, searching for details I could safely share. "My badminton team won all four games."

"Wow, I didn't know you could play badminton."

"Well, actually I can't, but my partner is really good," I admitted.

"Who is it?" She asked with token interest.

"Um… Mike Newton," I told her unwillingly.

"Oh yeah; you said you were friends with a boy name Mike" She perked up. "Why didn't you ask him to the dance this weekend?"

"Mom!" I groaned. "He's kind of dating my friend Jessica. Besides, you know I don't like dances."

"Oh yeah," she muttered. Then she smiled at me apologetically. "So I guess it's good you'll be gone Saturday… I've made plans to look for a good library after church, But if you wanted to put your trip off till someone could go with you, I'd stay home. I know I leave you here alone too much."

"Mom, It's fine really; this isn't really much different from what things were like back in Florida. You're doing an awesome job." I smiled, hoping my relief didn't show. "I've never minded being alone." I grinned at her, and she smiled.

I slept better that night, too tired to dream. When I woke to the pearl gray morning, my mood was blissful. The tense evening with Billy and Jacob seemed harmless enough now; I decided to forget it completely. I caught myself whistling while I was pulling my hair back into a pony tail, and later again as I skipped down the stairs. Mom noticed.

"You're cheerful this morning," she commented over breakfast.

I shrugged. "It's Friday."

I hurried so I would be ready to go the second Mom left. I had my bag ready, shoes on, teeth brushed, but even though I rushed to the door as soon as I was sure Mom would be out of sight, Edward was faster. He was waiting in his shiny car, windows down, engine off.

I didn't hesitate this time, climbing in the passenger side quickly, the sooner to see his face. He grinned his crooked smile at me. I couldn't imagine how an angel could be any more wonderful. There was nothing about him that could be improved upon.

"How did you sleep?" he asked. I wondered if he had any idea how appealing his voice was.

"Fine. How was your night?"

"Pleasant." His smile was amused; I felt like I was missing an inside joke.

"Can I ask what you did?" I asked.

"No." He grinned. "Today is still _mine_."

He wanted to know about people today: more about my family back in Florida, their hobbies, what we'd done in our free time together. My few school friends, embarrassing me when he asked about boys I'd dated. I was relieved that I'd never dated anyone, so that particular conversation couldn't last long. He seemed as surprised as Jessica and Angela by my lack of romantic history.

"So you never met anyone you wanted?" he asked in a serious tone that made me wonder what he was thinking about.

I was honest. "Not in Florida."

His lips pressed together into a hard line.

We were in the cafeteria at this point. The day had sped by in the blur that was rapidly becoming routine. I took advantage of his brief pause to take a bite of my chesseburger.

"I should have let you drive yourself today," he announced, in relation to of nothing, while I chewed.

"Why?" I asked.

"I'm leaving with Alice after lunch."

"Oh." I blinked, bewildered and disappointed. "That's okay; it's not that bad of a walk." I lied; anything that with walking long ways were bad in my book.

He frowned at me impatiently. "I'm not going to make you walk home. We'll go get your truck and leave it here for you."

"I don't have my key with me," I sighed. "I really don't mind walking." I lied again; I didn't want him to feel bad. But what I really minded was losing my time with him.

He shook his head. "Your truck will be here, and the key will be in the ignition; unless you're afraid someone might steal it." He laughed at the thought.

"yeah, right; like anyone would want my truck," I agreed, I was pretty sure my key was in my dresser in my room. Even if he broke into my house, or whatever he was planning, he'd never find it. He seemed to feel the challenge in my consent. He smirked, overconfident.

"So where are you going?" I asked as casually as I could manage.

"Hunting," he answered grimly. "If I'm going to be alone with you tomorrow, I'm going to take whatever precautions I can." His face grew gloomy… and pleading. "You can always cancel, you know."

I looked down, afraid of the persuasive power of his eyes. I refused to be convinced to fear him, no matter how real the danger might be. _It doesn't matter_, I repeated in my head.

"Sorry but No," I whispered, glancing back at his face. "ain't goin' happen."

"Perhaps you're right," he murmured bleakly. His eyes seemed to darken in color as I watched.

I changed the subject. "What time will I see you tomorrow?" I asked, already depressed by the thought of him leaving now.

"That depends… it's a Saturday, don't you want to sleep in?" he offered.

"No," I answered surprisingly too fast; see I did love my sleep. He restrained a smile.

"The same time as usual, then," he decided. "Will Rachel be there?"

"No, she's has church." I beamed at the memory of how conveniently things had worked out.

His voice turned sharp. "And if you don't come home, what will she think?"

"I have no idea," I answered coolly. "She knows I've been meaning to do the laundry. Maybe she'll think I fell in the washer."

He scowled at me and I scowled back. His anger was much more impressive than mine.

"What are you hunting tonight?" I asked when I was sure I had lost the glowering contest.

"Whatever we find in the park. We aren't going far." He seemed confused by my casual reference to his secret realities.

"Why are you going with Alice?" I wondered.

"Alice is the most… supportive." He frowned as he spoke.

"And the others?" I asked nervously. "What are they?"

His brow puckered for a brief moment. "Incredulous, for the most part."

I sighed "I'm sorry, Incr-" He cut me off.

"Uncertain" He said, smiling. "And you don't have to apologize; I don't mind at all."

"Thanks" I said, still apologetic.

"Anytime."

I peeked quickly behind me at his family. They sat staring off in different directions, exactly the same as the first time I'd seen them. Only now they were four; their beautiful, bronze-haired brother sat across from me, his golden eyes troubled.

"They don't like me," I guessed.

"That's not it," he disagreed, but his eyes were too innocent. "They don't understand why I can't leave you alone."

I grimaced. "Neither do I, really; Not that I'm complaining."

Edward shook his head slowly, rolling his eyes toward the ceiling before he met my gaze again. "I told you; you don't see yourself clearly at all. You're not like anyone I've ever known. You fascinate me."

I glared at him, sure he was teasing now.

He smiled as he making sense of my expression. "Having the advantages I do," he murmured, touching his forehead discreetly, "I have a better than average grasp of human nature. People are predictable. But you… you never do what I expect. You always take me by surprise."

I looked away, my eyes wandering back to his family, embarrassed and displeased. His words made me feel like a freak. I wanted to laugh at myself for expecting anything else.

"That part is easy enough to explain," he continued. I felt his eyes on my face but I couldn't look at him yet, afraid he might read the embarrassment in my eyes. "But there's more… and it's not so easy to put into words."

I was still staring at the Cullens while he spoke. Suddenly Rosalie, his blond and breathtaking sister, turned to look at me. No, not to look to glare, with dark, cold eyes. I wanted to look away, but her gaze held me until Edward broke off mid-sentence and made an angry noise under his breath. It was almost a hiss.

Rosalie turned her head, and I was relieved to be free. I looked back at Edward and I knew he could see the confusion and fear that widened my eyes.

His face was tight as he explained. "I'm sorry about that. She's just worried. You see…it's dangerous for more than just me if, after spending so much time with you so publicly…" He looked down.

"If?"

"If this ends…badly." He dropped his head into his hands, as he had that night in Port Angeles. His anguish was plain; I yearned to comfort him, but I was at a loss to know how. My hand reached toward him involuntarily; quickly, though, I dropped it to the table, fearing that my touch would only make things worse. I realized slowly that his words should frighten me. I waited for that fear to come, but all I could seem to feel was an ache for his pain.

And frustration; frustration that Rosalie had interrupted whatever he was about to say. I didn't know how to bring it up again. He still had his head in his hands.

I tried to speak in a normal voice. "And you have to leave now?"

"Yes." He raised his face; it was serious for a moment, and then his mood shifted and he smiled. "It's probably for the best. We still have fifteen minutes of that wretched movie left to endure in Biology, I don't think I could take any more. Tho, you seem to get past it very well." He poked fun at how I would nap while the movie was on.

I was about to say something. But Alice; her short, inky hair in a halo of spiky dismay around her beautiful, elfin face; was suddenly standing behind his shoulder. Her slight frame was slender, graceful even in absolute stillness.

He greeted her without looking away from me. "Alice."

"Edward," she answered, her high soprano voice almost as attractive as his.

"Alice, Diana; Diana, Alice," he introduced us, signing casually with his hand, a wry smile on his face.

"Hello, Diana." Her brilliant obsidian eyes were unreadable, but her smile was friendly. "It's nice to finally meet you."

Edward flashed a dark look at her.

"Hi, Alice," I murmured shyly.

"Are you ready?" she asked him.

His voice was aloof. "Nearly. I'll meet you at the car."

She left without another word; her walk was so fluid, so graceful that I felt a sharp pang of jealousy.

"Would it be okay if say I 'have fun and be safe,' or is that the wrong sentiment?" I asked, turning back to him.

"No, 'have fun and be safe' works as well as anything." He grinned.

"Have fun and be safe." I worked to sound wholehearted. Of course I didn't fool him.

"I'll try." He still grinned. "And you try to be safe too, please."

"Safe in Forks. Oh, what a challenge."

"For you it _is_ a challenge." His jaw hardened. "Promise."

"I promise to try to be safe," I delivered. "I'll do the laundry tonight; that ought to be fraught with peril."

"Don't fall in," he mocked.

"I'll do my best not too."

He stood then, and I rose, too.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I sighed.

"It seems like a long time to you, doesn't it?" he mused.

I nodded unhappily.

"I'll be there in the morning," he promised, smiling his crooked smile. He reached across the table to touch my face, lightly brushing along my cheekbone again. Then he turned and walked away. I stared after him until he was gone.

I was very tempted to ditch the rest of the day, at the very least Gym, but a warning instinct stopped me. I knew that if I disappeared now, Mike and others would assume I was with Edward. And Edward was worried about the time we'd spent together publicly… if things went wrong. I refused to dwell on the last thought; instead I'll make things safer for him and finish the rest of the school day.

Tomorrow would be critical; I naturally knew and sensed he knew too. Our relationship couldn't continue to balance, as it did, on the point of a knife. We would fall off one edge or the other, depending entirely upon his decision, or his instincts. Some how we had to put them in hormone; my decision was made; it was made before I'd ever consciously chosen, and I was committed to seeing it through. Because there was nothing more terrifying to me, more unbearable, than the thought of turning away from him. It was impossibility for me.

In Gym, Mike was speaking to me again; he wished me a good time at my friend's house. I carefully explained that I'd canceled my trip, worried about my truck.

"Are you going to the dance with Cullen?" he asked, suddenly sulky.

"No, I'm not going to the dance."

"What are you doing, then?" he asked, too interested.

"Laundry, and then I have to study for the Trig test or I'm going to fail." Which was most likely to happen; I never really studied.

"Is Cullen helping you study?"

"_Edward_," I stressed, "is not going to help me study. He's gone away somewhere for the weekend." I felt a little bad lying to mike, but the last thing I wanted was for to everyone to know I was spending a whole day with Edward. Plus, he jealous manner wasn't helping either.

"Oh." He perked up. "You know, you could come to the dance with our group anyway, that would be cool. We'd all dance with you," he promised.

I could just picture Jessica's face if that happened which made my tone sharper then necessary.

"I'm _not_ going to the dance, Mike, okay?"

"Fine." He sulked again. "I was just offering." I sighed.

When the school day had finally ended, I walked to the parking lot without any real interest. I still didn't really want to walk home, but I couldn't see how he would have recovered my truck. Then again, I was starting to believe that nothing was impossible for him. The later gut feeling proved correct as I saw my truck sitting in the same space he'd parked his car in this morning. I shook my head, truly unbelievable, as I opened the unlocked door and saw the key in the ignition.

There was a piece of white paper folded on my seat. I got in and closed the door before I unfolded it. Two words were written in his elegant script.

_Be safe._

I smiled warmly at two very well written words before turning my key. The sound of the truck roaring to life frightened me. I laughed at myself.

When I got home, the handle of the door was locked, the dead bolt unlocked, just as I'd left it this morning. Inside, I went straight to my room. It looked just the same as I'd left it, too. I shrugged as I begin to change into shorts and shirt.

Following the same instinct that had prompted me to lie to Mike, I called Jessica on the pretense of wishing her luck at the dance. When she offered the same wish for my day with Edward, I told her about the cancellation. She was more disappointed than really necessary for a third-party observer to be. I said goodbye quickly after that.

Mom was distracted at dinner; she was really into her show. I felt so guilty for deceiving her that; I almost took Edward's advice and told her where I would be, almost.

After dinner, I folded clothes and moved another load through the dryer. Unfortunately it was the kind of job that only keeps hands busy. My mind definitely had too much free time, and it was getting out of control. Changing between eagerness so strong that it was very nearly painful, and a creepy fear that picked at me. I had to keep reminding myself that I'd made my choice, and I wasn't going back on it. I pulled his note out of my pocket much more often than necessary to remind myself that; he wants me to _be safe_, I had to tell myself again and again. I would just hold on to the faith that, in the end, that desire would win out over the others. And what was my other choice; to cut him out of my life? Impossible. Besides, since I'd come to Forks, it really seemed like my life was _about_ him; I chuckled at that fact, and to think drawing and watching anime used to be what my life was all about.

But a tiny voice in the back of my mind worried, wondering if it would hurt _very_ much…if it ended badly. A few vampire films and anime flashed into my mind; I sighed, what am I getting myself into.

I was relieved when it was late enough to be acceptable for bedtime. I was still stressing but I knew the second I closed my eyes to sleep I feel a lot better. Everything was ready for the morning; I finally lay in my bed. I felt hyper; I couldn't stop thinking about Edward. I got up and went though my CDs until I found my good charlotte CD. After putting it in my CD player and placing my ear phones on I then lay down again. Listening to each song till, I gladly sank into unconsciousness.

I woke early, having slept soundly and dreamlessly; I think thanks to listening my CD which was still playing when I woke. Though I was well rested, I slipped right back into the same frantic turmoil from the night before. I showered and dressed in a rush, I wore my favorite T-shirt and a pair cotton navy blue pants. I sneaked a quick look out the guest room's window to see that Mom was already gone. A thin, cottony layer of clouds veiled the sky. They didn't look very long-term; I shrugged as moved away from window and headed to the stair.

I ate breakfast, hurrying to clean up when I was done. I peeked out the window again, but nothing had changed. I had just finished brushing my teeth and was heading back downstairs again when a quiet knock sent my heart thudding against my rib cage with a grin on my face.

I flew to the door; I had a little trouble with the simple lock, but I yanked the door open at last, and there he was. All the worry dissolved as soon as I looked at his face, peaceful taking its place. I breathed a sigh of relief; yesterday's fears seemed very foolish with him here.

He wasn't smiling at first, his face was serious. But then his expression lightened as he looked me over, and he laughed.

"Good morning," he chuckled.

"Something wrong?" I glanced down to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything important, like pants.

"We match." He laughed again. I realized he had a long, black sweater on, with a white collar showing underneath, and navy blue jeans. I laughed with him, hiding a secret twinge of jealousy, why did he have to look like a runway model when I couldn't?

I locked the door behind me while he walked to the truck. He waited by the passenger door. with a martyred expression that was easy to understand.

"We made a deal, But cab drive if you want. Just try not to drive super fast like you usual do my car won't be able to take it." I said, he nodded; walking around then climbing into the driver's seat, and reaching over to unlock passenger door for me.

"Where are we going?" I asked while hopped into my seat.

"First put your seat belt on, I'm nervous already."

I gave him an 'Oh, please…' look as I obeyed.

" Where are we going?" I repeated with a sigh as he started the engine.

"You'll see…"

It was surprisingly difficult to concentrate on the looking at the sights while feeling his gaze on my face. Even tho his gazes were just a few seconds long, each still very distracting for me. We were soon out of the town limits. Thick underbrush and green-swathed trunks replaced the lawns and houses.

"We're almost there; now we drive until the pavement ends."

"And what's there, at the end of pavement?" I wondered.

"A trail."

"We're hiking?" Thank goodness I'd worn my black tennis shoes.

"Is that a problem?" He sounded as if he'd expected as much.

"No." I tried to make the lie sound confident. But if he thought my truck was slow…

"Don't worry, it's only five miles or so, and we're in no hurry."

Five miles. I didn't answer, so that he wouldn't hear my voice crack in panic. Five miles; I'll be gasping and wishing to the gods and goddess above for the ability to fly, after only walking maybe a mile or two. This was going to be humiliating.

We drove in silence for a while as I contemplated the coming horror.

"What are you thinking?" he asked impatiently after a few moments.

I lied again. "Just wondering where we're going."

"It's a place I like to go when the weather is nice." We both glanced out the windows at the thinning clouds after he spoke.

"So did you tell your mother what you were up to?" he asked.

"Nope."

"But Jessica thinks we're going to Seattle together?" He seemed cheered by the idea.

"No, I told her you canceled on me; which is true."

"No one knows you're with me?" Angrily, now.

"That depends…I assume you told your sister, Alice?"

"That's very helpful, Diana," he snapped.

I pretended I didn't hear that.

"Are you so depressed by Forks that it's made you suicidal?" he demanded when I ignored him.

"I'm not depressed..." I lied. "Besides you said it might cause trouble for you…us being together publicly," I reminded him.

"So you're worried about the trouble it might cause _me_; _if you_ don't come _home_?" His voice was still angry, and acidly sarcastic.

I nodded with a simple, "uh-huh…" keeping my eyes looking out the window.

He muttered something under his breath, speaking so quickly that I couldn't understand.

We were silent for the rest of the drive. I could feel the waves of enraged disapproval rolling off of him, and I could think of nothing to say. And I was looking so forward to this day.

The road ended, contracting to a thin foot trail with a small wooden marker. I still didn't look at him; as I got out of car. It was warm now, warmer than it had been in Forks since the day I'd arrived, almost muggy under the clouds. I was glad that my favorite shirt was light especially if I had five miles of hiking ahead of me.

I heard his door slam making me looked over; I noticed that he removed his sweater. He was facing away from me, into the unbroken forest beside my truck.

"This way," he said, glancing over his shoulder at me, eyes still annoyed. He started into the dark forest.

So it was going to be one of those days, prefect…Just prefect. " I sighed as I hurried around the truck to catch up to him.

"No trail?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"I won't let you get lost." He turned then, with a mocking smile, and I stifled a gasp. His white shirt was sleeveless, and he wore it unbuttoned, so that the smooth white skin of his throat flowed continuous over the lines of his pale chest, his perfect musculature no longer merely hinted at behind the cover of his clothing. He was too perfect, I realized with a piercing stab of despair. There was no way this godlike creature could be meant for me. Not a chance, in a million, zillion years.

He stared at me, bewildered by my sorrow filled expression.

"Do you want to go home?" he said quietly, a different pain than mine saturating his voice.

"No!" I said a little too quickly; walking forward till I was close beside him, concerned not to waste one second of whatever time I might have with him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice gentle.

"I'm not a good hiker," I answered dully; tho that wasn't my main reason of being sadden. "You'll have to be very patient."

"I can be patient; if I make a great effort." He smiled, holding my glance, trying to lift me out of my sudden, unexplained sadness.

I tried to smile back, but the smile was unconvincing. He examined my face.

"I'll take you home," he promised. I couldn't tell if the promise was unconditional, or limited to a direct leaving. I knew he thought it was fear that upset me, and I was more then grateful again that I was the one person's mind he couldn't hear.

"If you want me to hack five miles through the jungle before sundown, you'd better start leading the way," I said acidly. He frowned at me, struggling to understand my tone and expression.

He gave up after a moment and led the way into the forest.

It wasn't as hard as I had feared. The way was mostly flat, and he held the damp ferns and webs of moss aside for me. When his straight path took us over fallen trees or boulders, he would help me, lifting me by the elbow, and then releasing me instantly when I was clear. His cold touch on my skin never failed to make my heart thud unsteadily. Twice, when that happened, I caught a look on his face that made me sure he could somehow hear it.

I tried to keep my eyes away from his face as much as possible, but I slipped often. Each time, his beauty pierced me through with sadness.

For the most part, we walked in silence. Occasionally he would ask a random question that he hadn't gotten to in the past two days of questioning. He asked about my birthdays, my grade school teachers, my childhood pets; Telling him about all the different pets my family had when I younger; but now all I had was a dog named Princess, who was back in Florida with Vanessa.

The hike took me most of the morning, but he never showed any sign of impatience. The forest spread out around us in a boundless labyrinth of ancient trees, it was so much like a labyrinth I felt as if we would suddenly find David Bowie sitting on log, playing with some clear round glass balls. I began to be nervous that we would never find our way out again; but Edward was perfectly at ease, comfortable in the green maze, never seeming to feel any doubt about our direction.

After several hours, the light that filtered through the canopy transformed, the murky emerald tone shifting to a brighter jade. The day had turned sunny, just as he'd foretold. For the first time since we'd entered the woods, I felt a thrill of excitement; which quickly turned to impatience.

"Are we there yet?" I teased, pretending to scowl.

"Nearly." He smiled at the change in my mood. "Do you see the brightness ahead?"

I peered into the thick forest. "Um, not really, should I?"

He smirked. "Maybe it's a bit soon for _your_ eyes."

"Time to visit the eye doctor," I muttered. His smirk grew more pronounced.

"Don't you mean optometrist." He teased.

"Same difference." I teased back; I'm so glad that the mood is beginning to light. For second there I thought doing this wasn't a good idea.

After another hundred yards, I could definitely see some light in the trees ahead, a glow that was yellow instead of green. I picked up the pace, my eagerness growing with every step. He let me lead now, following noiselessly.

I reached the edge of the pool of light and stepped through the last fringe of ferns into the loveliest, most glorious place I had ever seen. The meadow was small, perfectly round, and filled with wildflowers; violet, yellow, and soft white. Somewhere nearby, I could hear the sounds of a stream. The sun was directly overhead, filling the circle with a haze of buttery sunshine. I walked slowly, captivated, through the soft grass, swaying flowers, and warm, gilded air. I halfway turned smiling big, wanting to share this with him, but he wasn't behind me where I thought he'd be. I spun around, searching for him with sudden alarm.

"Edward?" Panic clear in my voice.

Finally I spotted him, still under the dense shade of the canopy at the edge of the hollow, watching me with cautious eyes. Only then did I remember what the beauty of the meadow had driven from my mind; the mystery of Edward and the sun, which he'd promised to illustrate for me today.

I took a step back toward him, my eyes alight with curiosity. His eyes were wary, unwilling. I smiled encouragingly and beckoned to him with my hand, taking another step back to him. He held up a hand in warning, and I hesitated.

Edward seemed to take a deep breath, and then he stepped out into the bright glow of the midday sun.


	14. Chapter 13 Confessions

**Chapter 13**

**Confessions**

Edward in the sunlight was shocking, but also amazing. I still couldn't _get_ used to it, though I'd been staring at him all afternoon. His skin, whiten despite the faint flush from yesterday's hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, shining chest, his brilliant arms bare. His gleaming, pale purple lids were shut, though of course he didn't sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, gleaming like crystal.

Now and then, his lips would move, so fast it looked like they were trembling. But, when I asked, he told me he was singing to himself; it was too low for me to hear.

I enjoyed the sun; I never thought I would be so happy to be in the sun. I would have liked to lie back, as he did, and let the sun warm my face. But I stayed lying on my side, unwilling to take my eyes off him. The wind was gentle; it tangled my hair and ruffled the grass that swayed around his motionless form.

The meadow, so spectacular to me at first, paled next to his brilliance.

Afraid, even now, that he would disappear like a mirage, too beautiful to be real… hesitantly, I reached out one finger and stroked the back of his gleaming hand, where it lay within my reach. I marveled again at the perfect texture, satin smooth, cool as stone. When I looked up again, his eyes were open, watching me. A golden today, lighter, warmer after hunting. His quick smile turned up the corners of his flawless lips.

"I don't scare you?" he asked playfully, but I could hear the real curiosity in his soft voice.

"No more than usual."

He smiled wider; his teeth flashed in the sun.

I inched closer, stretched out my whole hand now to trace the contours of his forearm with my fingertips. I saw that my fingers trembled, and knew it wouldn't escape his notice.

"Do you mind?" I asked, for he had closed his eyes again.

"No," he said without opening his eyes. "You can't imagine how that feels." He sighed.

I smiled; continuing l to lightly trail my hand over the perfect muscles of his arm; following the faint pattern of bluish veins inside the crease at his elbow. With my other hand, I reached to turn his hand over. Realizing what I wished, he flipped his palm up in one of those blindingly fast, disconcerting movements of his. It startled me; my fingers froze on his arm for a brief second.

"Sorry," he murmured. I looked up in time to see his golden eyes close again. "It's too easy to be myself with you."

"It's okay, and I'm glad you feel so comfortable with me." He didn't say anything, just smiled.

I lifted his hand, turning it this way and that as I watched the sunlight gleam on his palm. I held it closer to my face, trying to see the hidden facets in his skin.

"Tell me what you're thinking," he whispered. I looked to see his eyes watching me, suddenly intent. "It's still so strange for me, not knowing."

"The rest of us feel that way all the time."

"It's a hard life." Did I imagine the hint of regret in his tone? "But you didn't tell me."

"I _was_ wishing I could know what you were thinking…" I hesitated.

"And?"

"I was wishing that I could believe that you were real. And I was wishing that I wasn't scared."

"I don't want you to be afraid." His voice was just a soft murmur. I heard what he couldn't truthfully say, that I didn't need to be afraid, that there was nothing to fear.

"Well, that's not exactly the fear I meant, though that's certainly something to think about."

So quickly that I missed his movement, he was half sitting, propped up on his right arm, his left palm still in my hands. I sat up as well; crossing my legs; I suddenly noticed that now his angel's face was only a few inches from mine. I might have; should have, flinched away from our unexpected closeness, but I was unable to move. His golden eyes mesmerized me.

"What are you afraid of, then?" he whispered intently.

But I couldn't answer. As I had just that once before, I smelled his cool breath in my face. Sweet, delicious, the scent made my mouth water. It was unlike anything else. Automatically, unthinkingly, I leaned closer.

And he was gone, his hand ripped from mine. In the time it took my eyes to focus, he was twenty feet away, standing at the edge of the small meadow, in the deep shade of a huge fir tree. He stared at me, his eyes dark in the shadows, his expression unreadable.

I could feel the hurt and shock on my face. My empty hands stung. I looked away from him; looking down at my hands.

"I'm…sorry…Edward… I'm so sorry," I whispered, almost in a whimper; still feeling the pain of him moving away from me. I knew he could hear.

"Give me a moment," he called, just loud enough for my less sensitive ears. I sat very still.

After ten unbelievably long seconds, I watched him walk back, slowly for him. He stopped, still several feet away, and sank gracefully to the ground, crossing his legs too. His eyes never left mine. He took two deep breaths, and then smiled in apology.

"I am so very sorry." He hesitated. "Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?"

I nodded once, not quite able to smile at his joke. Adrenaline pulsed through my veins as the realization of danger slowly sank in. He could smell that from where he sat. His smile turned scornful.

"I'm the world's best predator, aren't I? Everything about me invites you in; my voice, my face, and even my _smell_. As if I need any of that!" Unexpectedly, he was on his feet again, bounding away, instantly out of sight; I jumped to my feet trying to follow him with my eyes. He appeared beneath the same tree as before, having circled the meadow in half a second.

"As if you could outrun me," he laughed bitterly.

He reached up with one hand and, with a deafening crack, effortlessly ripped a two-foot-thick branch from the trunk of the spruce. He balanced it in that hand for a moment, and then threw it with blinding speed, shattering it against another huge tree, which shook and trembled at the blow.

And he was in front of me again, standing two feet away, still as a stone.

"As if you could fight me off," he said gently.

I stood still a much possible, more frightened of him than I had ever been. I'd never seen him so completely freed of that carefully cultured public image. He'd never been less human. Face paler then usual, eyes wide, I stood like a bird locked in the eyes of a snake.

His lovely eyes seem to glow with rash excitement. Then, as the seconds passed, they dimmed. His expression slowly folded into a mask of ancient sadness.

"Don't be afraid," he murmured, his velvet voice accidentally seductive. "I promise…" He hesitated. "I _swear_ not to hurt you." He seemed more concerned with convincing himself than me.

"Don't be afraid," he whispered again as he stepped closer, with exaggerated slowness. Part of me wanted to take a step back away from him, but I stay in place. He sat gracefully, with intentionally unhurried movements. He looked up at me, still apologetic.

"Diana?" Concern clear in his voice.

"Give me…a minute." I said, shakily. I took three deep shaky breaths. Sitting back on the ground; till our faces were on the same level, just a foot apart.

"Please forgive me," he said formally. "I _can_ control myself. You caught me off guard. But I'm on my best behavior now."

He waited, but I still couldn't speak.

"I'm not thirsty today, honestly." He winked.

At that I had to laugh, though I still sounded shaky and breathless.

"Are you all right?" he asked tenderly, reaching out slowly, carefully, to place his marble hand back in mine.

I looked at his smooth, cold hand, and then at his eyes. They were soft, apologetic. I looked back at his hand, and then deliberately returned to tracing the lines in his hand with my fingertip. I looked up and smiled timidly.

His answering smile was dazzling.

"So where were we, before I behaved so rudely?" he asked in the gentle rhythm of an earlier century.

"I honestly can't remember."

He smiled, but his face was ashamed. "I think we were talking about why you were afraid, besides the obvious reason."

"Oh, right."

"Well?"

I looked down at his hand and doodled aimlessly across his smooth, iridescent palm. The seconds ticked by.

"How easily frustrated I am," he sighed. I looked into his eyes, unexpectedly grasping that this was every bit as new to him as it was to me. As many years of bottomless experience as he had, this was hard for him, too. I took courage from that thought.

"I was afraid… because, for, well, obvious reasons, I can't _stay_ with you. And I'm afraid that I'd like to stay with you, much more than I should." I looked down at his hands as I spoke. It was difficult for me to say this aloud.

"Yes," he agreed slowly. "That is something to be afraid of, indeed. Wanting to be with me. That's really not in your best interest."

I frowned.

"I should have left long ago," he sighed. "I should leave now. But I don't know if I can."

"I don't want you to leave, please don't" I mumbled sadly, staring down again.

"Which is exactly why I should. But don't worry. I'm essentially a selfish creature. I crave your company too much to do what I should."

"I'm glad."

"Don't be!" He withdrew his hand, more gently this time; his voice was harsher than usual. Harsh for him, still more beautiful than any human voice. It was hard to keep up; his sudden mood changes left me always a step behind, dazed and a little annoyed.

"It's not only your company I crave! Never forget _that_. Never forget I am more dangerous to you than I am to anyone else." He stopped, and I looked to see him gazing unseeingly into the forest.

I thought about that for a moment.

"What do you mean, by that last part anyway," I said.

He looked back at me and smiled, his mood shifting yet again; Making me wonder if vampires go to therapists.

"How do I explain?" he mused. "And without frightening you again… hmmmm." Without seeming to think about it, he placed his hand back in mine; I held it tightly in both of mine. He looked at our hands.

"That's amazingly pleasant, the warmth." He sighed.

A moment passed as he assembled his thoughts.

"You know how everyone enjoys different flavors?" he began. "Some people love chocolate ice cream, others prefer strawberry?"

I nodded.

"Sorry about the food analogy; I couldn't think of another way to explain."

I smiled. He smiled ruefully back.

"You see, every person smells different, has a different essence. If you locked an alcoholic in a room full of stale beer, he'd gladly drink it. But he could resist, if he wished to, if he were a recovering alcoholic. Now let's say you placed in that room a glass of hundred-year-old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac; and filled the room with its warm aroma, how do you think he would fare then?"

We sat silently, looking into each other's eyes, trying to read each other's thoughts.

He broke the silence first.

"Maybe that's not the right comparison. Maybe it would be too easy to turn down the brandy. Perhaps I should have made our alcoholic a heroin addict instead."

"So what you're saying is, I'm your brand of heroin?" I teased, trying to lighten the mood again.

He smiled swiftly, seeming to appreciate my effort. "Yes, you are _exactly_ my brand of heroin."

"Does that happen often?" I asked.

He looked across the treetops, thinking through his response.

"I spoke to my brothers about it." He still stared into the distance. "To Jasper, every one of you is much the same. He's the most recent to join our family. It's a struggle for him to abstain at all. He hasn't had time to grow sensitive to the differences in smell, in flavor." He glanced swiftly at me, his expression apologetic.

"Sorry," he said.

"I don't mind. Please don't worry about offending me, or frightening me, or whichever. That's the way you think. I can understand, or I can try to at least. Just explain however you can."

He took a deep breath and gazed at the sky again.

"So Jasper wasn't sure if he'd ever come across someone who was as" he hesitated, looking for the right word "_appealing_ as you are to me. Which makes me think not. Emmett has been on the wagon longer, so to speak, and he understood what I meant. He says twice, for him, once stronger than the other."

"And for you?"

"Never."

The word hung there for a moment in the warm breeze.

"What did Emmett do?" I asked to break the silence.

It was the wrong question to ask. His face grew dark, his hand clenched into a fist inside mine. He looked away. I waited, but he wasn't going to answer.

"I guess, I already know," I finally said.

He lifted his eyes; his expression was wistful, pleading.

"Even the strongest of us fall off the wagon, don't we?"

"What are you asking? Do want my permission?" My voice was sharper than I'd intended. I tried to make my tone kinder; I could guess what his honesty must cost him. "I mean, is there no hope for us, then?" How calmly I could discuss my own death!

"No, no!" He was instantly contrite. "Of course there's hope! I mean, of course I won't…" He left the sentence hanging. His eyes burned into mine. "It's different for us. Emmett… these were strangers he happened across. It was a long time ago, and he wasn't as… practiced, as careful, as he is now."

He fell silent and watched me intently as I thought it through.

"So if we'd met… oh, in a dark alley or something…" I trailed off.

"It took everything I had not to jump up in the middle of that class full of children and —" He stopped abruptly, looking away. "When you walked past me, I could have ruined everything Carlisle has built for us, right then and there. If I hadn't been denying my thirst for the last, well, too many years, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself." He paused, scowling at the trees.

He glanced at me grimly, both of us remembering. "You must have thought I was possessed."

"I couldn't understand why. How you could hate me so quickly…"

"To me, it was like you were some kind of demon, summoned straight from my own personal hell to ruin me. The fragrance coming off your skin… I thought it would make me deranged that first day. In that one hour, I thought of a hundred different ways to lure you from the room with me, to get you alone. And I fought them each back, thinking of my family, what I could do to them. I had to run out, to get away before I could speak the words that would make you follow…"

He looked up then at my staggered expression as I tried to absorb his bitter memories. His golden eyes scorched from under his lashes, hypnotic and deadly.

"You would have come," he promised.

I tried to speak calmly. "Most likely and without a doubt."

He frowned down at my hands, releasing me from the force of his stare. "And then, as I tried to rearrange my schedule in a pointless attempt to avoid you, you were there; in that close, warm little room, the scent was maddening. I so very nearly took you then. There was only one other frail human there, so easily dealt with."

I shivered in the warm sun, seeing my memories anew through his eyes, only now grasping the danger. Poor Ms. Cope; I shivered again at how close I'd come to being accidentally responsible for her death.

"But I resisted. I don't know how. I forced myself _not_ to wait for you, _not_ to follow you from the school. It was easier outside, when I couldn't smell you anymore, to think clearly, to make the right decision. I left the others near home; I was too ashamed to tell them how weak I was, they only knew something was very wrong; and then I went straight to Carlisle, at the hospital, to tell him I was leaving."

I stared in surprise.

"I traded cars with him, he had a full tank of gas and I didn't want to stop. I didn't dare to go home, to face Esme. She wouldn't have let me go without a scene. She would have tried to convince me that it wasn't necessary… By the next morning I was in Alaska." He sounded ashamed, as if admitting a great cowardice.

"I spent two days there, with some old acquaintances… but I was homesick. I hated knowing I'd upset Esme, and the rest of them, my adopted family. In the pure air of the mountains it was hard to believe you were so irresistible. I convinced myself it was weak to run away. I'd dealt with temptation before, not of this magnitude, not even close, but I was strong. Who were you, an insignificant little girl." he grinned suddenly, "to chase me from the place I wanted to be? So I came back…" He stared off into space.

I couldn't speak.

"I took precautions, hunting, feeding more than usual before seeing you again. I was sure that I was strong enough to treat you like any other human. I was arrogant about it.

"It was unquestionably a complication that I couldn't simply read your thoughts to know what your reaction was to me. I wasn't used to having to go to such circuitous measures, listening to your words in Jessica's mind… her mind isn't very original, and it was annoying to have to stoop to that. And then I couldn't know if you really meant what you said. It was all extremely irritating." He frowned at the memory.

"I wanted you to forget my behavior that first day, if possible, so I tried to talk with you like I would with any person. I was eager actually, hoping to decipher some of your thoughts. But you were too interesting, I found myself caught up in your expressions… and every now and then you would stir the air with your hand or your hair, and the scent would stun me again…

"Of course, then you were nearly crushed to death in front of my eyes. Later I thought of a perfectly good excuse for why I acted at that moment; because if I hadn't saved you, if your blood had been spilled there in front of me, I don't think I could have stopped myself from exposing us for what we are. But I only thought of that excuse later. At the time, all I could think was, 'Not her.'"

Those two small words filled me with a surprising joy. That maybe he had feeling for me, another thought crossed my mind; that maybe I was just reading to into those words.

He closed his eyes, lost in his agonized confession. I listened, more eager than rational. Common sense told me I should be terrified. Instead, I was relieved to finally understand. And I was filled with compassion for his suffering, even now, as he confessed his craving to take my life.

I finally was able to speak, though my voice was faint. "In the hospital?"

His eyes flashed up to mine. "I was appalled. I couldn't believe I had put us in danger after all, put myself in your power, you of all people. As if I needed another motive to kill you." We both flinched as that word slipped out. "But it had the opposite effect," he continued quickly. "I fought with Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper when they suggested that now was the time… the worst fight we've ever had. Carlisle sided with me, and Alice." He grimaced when he said her name. I couldn't imagine why. "Esme told me to do whatever I had to in order to stay." He shook his head indulgently.

"All that next day I eavesdropped on the minds of everyone you spoke to, shocked that you kept your word. I didn't understand you at all. But I knew that I couldn't become more involved with you. I did my very best to stay as far from you as possible. And every day the perfume of your skin, your breath, your hair… it hit me as hard as the very first day."

He met my eyes again, and they were surprisingly kindhearted.

"And for all that," he continued, "I'd have fared better if I _had_ exposed us all at that first moment, than if now, here; with no witnesses and nothing to stop me, I were to hurt you."

I was human enough to have to ask. "Why?"

"Diana." He said name carefully, then playfully ruffled my hair with his free hand. A shock ran through my body at his casual touch. "Diana, I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you. You don't know how it's tortured me." He looked down, ashamed again. "The thought of you, still, white, cold… to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of insight in your eyes when you see through my pretenses… it would be unendurable." He lifted his glorious, painful eyes to mine. "You are the most important thing to me now; the most important thing to me ever."

My head was spinning at the sudden change in direction our conversation had taken. From the cheerful topic of my impending demise, He was suddenly declaring himself to me. He waited, and even though I looked down to study our hands between us, I knew his golden eyes were on me. If let myself I would have squealed for joy; jumps in to his arms, and telling him that hearing him say those words made me the happiest I'd had ever been in my whole life. But, sadly my mind still had a small feeling of doubt. I continued to say nothing; knowing he will start to get impatient if I didn't or do something soon.

"You don't how happy I am to hear you say that…" I finally said. "You already know how I feel, of course; I'm here… Meaning I'd rather die than stay away from you." I sighed. "I'm an idiot, aren't I?"

"You _are_ an idiot," he agreed with a laugh.

I grimaced "Your supposed to say 'no, you not an idiot, Diana.'"

Our eyes met, we both laughed.

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…" he murmured. I looked away, hiding my eyes as I thrilling over the word of _love_.

"What a stupid lamb," I sighed.

"What a sick, masochistic lion." He stared into the shadowy forest for a long moment, and I wondered where his thoughts had taken him.

"Why… ?" I began, and then paused, not sure how to continue.

He looked at me and smiled; sunlight glinted off his face, his teeth.

"Yes?"

"Tell me why you ran from me before."

His smile faded. "You know why."

"No, I mean, _exactly_ what did I do wrong? I'll have to be on my guard, you see, so I better start learning what I shouldn't do. This, for example;" I stroked the back of his hand, "seems okay to do."

He smiled again. "You didn't do anything wrong, Diana. It was my fault."

"How is that your fault? I'm the one who sat up and then tried to move my face closer to yours." I stated.

"Diana, what you did was natural. Don't feel bad for doing something that anyone would have done if they were with someone they cared for." He countered.

"I want to help, if I can, to make this less hard for you. Since we're different from the norm, tell me what's okay and what's not."

"Well…" He reflected for a moment. "It was just how close you were. Most humans instinctively shy away from us, are repelled by our alienness… I wasn't expecting you to come so close. And the smell of your _throat_." He stopped mid-sentence, looking to see if he'd upset me. I wasn't upset by it; more that those vampire Mangas and films flashed in my mind again.

"Okay, then," I said jokily, trying to ease the suddenly tense mood. "No throat contact."

It worked; he laughed. "No, really, it was more the surprise than anything else."

He raised his free hand and placed it gently on the side of my neck. I sat very still, the chill of his touch a natural warning, a warning telling me to be terrified. But I felt no fear; there were, however, other feelings…

"You see," he said. "Perfectly fine."

My blood was racing, and I wished I could slow it, sensing that this must make everything so much more difficult; the thudding of my pulse in my veins. He must be able to hear it.

"The blush on your cheeks is lovely," he murmured. He gently freed his other hand. My hands fell limply into my lap. Softly he brushed my cheek, and then held my face between his marble hands.

"Be very still," he whispered.

"O-Okay…" I croaked; my cheeks now on fire; his cool hands on my cheeks were a nice relief from the heat.

Slowly, never moving his eyes from mine, he leaned toward me. Then suddenly, but very gently, he rested his cold cheek against the hollow at the base of my neck. I was quite unable to move, even if I'd wanted to. I listened to the sound of his even breathing, watching the sun and wind play in his bronze hair, more human than any other part of him.

With deliberate slowness, his hands slid down the sides of my neck. I shivered, and I heard him catch his breath. But his hands didn't pause as they softly moved to my shoulders, and then stopped.

His face drifted to the side, his nose skimming across my collarbone. He came to rest with the side of his face pressed tenderly against my chest.

Listening to my heart.

"Ah," he sighed. "Your heart is having a flied day." He joked; But, he was right my heart had went crazy the second he started this. I hoped that my rapid heart rate didn't make this more difficult for him.

I don't know how long we sat without moving. It could have been hours. Eventually the throb of my pulse quieted, but he didn't move or speak again as he held me. I knew at any moment it could be too much, and my life could end; so quickly that I might not even notice. But I couldn't make myself be afraid. I couldn't think of anything, except the fact that he was touching me.

And then, too soon, he released me.

His eyes were peaceful.

"It won't be so hard again," he said with satisfaction.

"Was that very hard for you?"

"Not nearly as bad as I imagined it would be. And you?"

"No, it wasn't bad… for me."

He smiled at my tone. "You know what I mean."

I smiled.

"Here." He gently took my hand and placed it against his cheek. "Do you feel how warm it is?"

And it was almost warm, his usually icy skin. But I barely noticed, for I was touching his face, something I'd dreamed of constantly since the first day I'd seen him.

"Don't move," I whispered.

No one could be still like Edward. He closed his eyes and became as still as stone, a carving under my hand.

I moved even more slowly than he had, careful not to make one unexpected move. I caressed his cheek, delicately stroked his eyelid, the purple shadow in the hollow under his eye. I traced the shape of his perfect nose, and then, so carefully with my thumb, his flawless lips. His lips parted under my thumb, and I could feel his cool breath on my fingertip. I wanted to lean in, to inhale the scent of him. So I dropped my hand and leaned away, not wanting to push him too far.

He opened his eyes, and they were hungry. Not in a way to make me fear, but rather to tighten the muscles in the pit of my stomach and send my pulse beating through my veins again.

"I wish," he whispered, "I wish you could feel the… complexity… the confusion… I feel. That you could understand."

He raised his hand to my hair; then carefully brushed it across my face.

"Tell me, help me understand." I breathed.

"I don't think I can. I've told you, on the one hand, the hunger, the thirst; that, deplorable creature that I am, I feel for you. And I think you can understand that, to an extent. Though" he half smiled; "as you are not addicted to any illegal substances, you probably can't empathize completely.

"But…" His fingers touched my lips lightly, making me shiver again. "There are other hungers. Hungers I don't even understand, that are foreign to me."

"I may understand _that_ better than you think."

"I'm not used to feeling so human. Is it always like this?"

"For me?" I paused. "No, never. Never before this. I've never felt this way about anyone before."

He held my hands between his. They felt so feeble in his iron strength.

"I don't know how to be close to you," he admitted. "I don't know if I can."

I leaned forward very slowly, cautioning him with my eyes. I placed my cheek against his stone chest. Enjoying the cool temperature of his chest on my still very warm cheeks. I could hear his breath, and nothing else.

"This is enough," I sighed, closing my eyes.

In a very human gesture, he put his arms around me and pressed his face against my hair.

"You're better at this than you give yourself credit for," I noted.

"I have human instincts; they may be buried deep, but they're there."

We sat like that for another seemly endless moment; I wondered if he was as unwilling to move as I was. But I could see the light was fading, the shadows of the forest beginning to touch us, and I sighed.

"You have to go."

"I thought you couldn't read my mind."

"It's getting clearer." I could hear a smile in his voice.

He took my shoulders and I looked into his face.

"Can I show you something?" he asked, sudden excitement flaring in his eyes.

"Sure, what is it?"

"I'll show you how _I_ travel in the forest. And don't worry, you'll be very safe, and we'll get to your truck much faster." His mouth twitched up into that crooked smile so beautiful my heart nearly stopped.

"Will you turn into a bat?" I asked, curious.

He laughed, louder than I'd ever heard. "Like I haven't heard _that_ one before!"

"uh-huh, I'm sure you get that all the time."

"Come on, climb on my back."

I waited to see if he was kidding, but, apparently, he meant it. He smiled as he read my hesitation, and reached for me. My heart reacted; even though he couldn't hear my thoughts, my pulse always gave me away. He then proceeded to sling me onto his back, with very little effort on my part, besides, when in place, clamping my legs and arms so tightly around him that it would choke a normal person. It was like clinging to a stone.

"I'm heavier than your average backpack," I warned.

"Hah!" he snorted. I could almost hear his eyes rolling. I'd never seen him in such high spirits before.

He startled me, suddenly grabbing my hand, pressing my palm to his face, and inhaling deeply.

"Easier all the time," he muttered.

And then he was running.

He streaked through the dark, thick underbrush of the forest like a bullet, like a ghost. There was no sound, no evidence that his feet touched the earth. His breathing never changed, never indicated any effort. But the trees flew by at deadly speeds, always missing us by inches.

I couldn't close my eyes, though the cool forest air whipped against my face and burned them. I felt as if I were stupidly sticking my head out the window of an airplane in flight. And, for the first time in my life, I felt the dizzy faintness of motion sickness. But I also felt a huge trilled; go at this speed was truly amazing.

Then it was over. We'd hiked hours this morning to reach Edward's meadow, and now, in a matter of minutes, we were back to the truck.

"Exhilarating, isn't it?" His voice was high, excited.

He stood motionless, waiting for me to climb down. I tried, but my muscles wouldn't respond. My arms and legs stayed locked around him.

"Diana?" he asked, worried now.

"I think I need to lie down," I gasped.

"Oh, sorry." He waited for me, but I still couldn't move.

"I think I need help," I admitted.

He laughed quietly, and gently unloosened my stranglehold on his neck. There was no resisting the iron strength of his hands. Then he pulled me around to face him, cradling me in his arms like a small child. He held me for a moment, then carefully placed me on the springy ferns.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

I couldn't be sure how I felt when my head was spinning so crazily. "Dizzy, I think."

"Put your head between your knees."

I tried that, and it helped a little. I breathed in and out slowly, keeping my head very still. I felt him sitting beside me. The moments passed, and eventually I found that I could raise my head. There was a hollow ringing sound in my ears.

"I guess that wasn't the best idea, maybe you should have closed your eyes." he mused.

"No, really that was remarkable; I'm just not using to going that fast."

"Hah! You're as white as a ghost; no, you're as white as _me_! "

I laughed "Really, I enjoyed that a lot."

"Really?" He asked; a hint doubt in his voice.

"Really…" I said, truthfully.

"Remember that next time."

"Next time?"

He laughed his mood still happy.

"Show-off," I muttered.

"Open your eyes, Diana," he said quietly.

I obeyed; he was right there, his face so close to mine. His beauty stunned my mind, it was too much, an excess I couldn't grow accustomed to.

"I was thinking, while I was running…" He paused.

"About not running into a tree, I hope."

"Silly Diana," he chuckled. "Running is second nature to me; it's not something I have to think about."

"Show-off," I muttered again.

He smiled.

"No," he continued, "I was thinking there was something I wanted to try." And he took my face in his hands again.

I couldn't breathe; was this it, was I really going to get my first kiss?! And with it being Edward no less. Despite the bad start of this morning; today truly was the best day of my life.

He hesitated, not in the normal way, the human way.

Not the way a man might hesitate before he kissed a woman, to gauge her reaction, to see how he would be received. Perhaps he would hesitate to extend the moment, that ideal moment of eagerness, sometimes better than the kiss itself.

Edward hesitated to test himself, to see if this was safe, to make sure he was still in control of his need.

And then his cold, marble lips pressed very softly against mine.

What neither of us was prepared for was my response.

Blood boiled under my skin, burned in my lips. My breath came in a wild gasp. My fingers knotted in his hair, clutching him to me. My lips parted as I breathed in his thrilling scent.

Immediately I felt him turn to expressionless stone beneath my lips. His hands gently, but with irresistible force, pushed my face back. I opened my eyes and saw his guarded expression.

"Oops," I breathed.

"That's an understatement."

His eyes were wild, his jaw clenched in serious self-control, yet he didn't fall from his perfect expression. He held my face just inches from his. He dazzled my eyes.

"Should I… ?" I tried to unfasten myself, to give him some room.

His hands refused to let me move so much as an inch.

"No, it's tolerable. Wait for a moment, please." His voice was polite, controlled.

I kept my eyes on his, watched as the excitement in them faded and gentled.

Then he smiled a surprisingly playful grin.

"There," he said, obviously pleased with himself.

"You okay?" I asked.

He laughed aloud. "I'm stronger than I thought. It's nice to know."

"I wish I could say the same. I'm sorry, I guess waiting so long for my first kiss kind of made me a little too eager."

"You _are_ only human, after all."

"Thanks so much," I said, my voice sour.

He was on his feet in one of his flexible, almost invisibly quick movements. He held out his hand to me, an unexpected gesture. I was so used to our standard of careful non-contact. I took his icy hand, needing the support more than I thought. My balance had not yet returned.

"Are you still faint from the run? Or was it my kissing expertise?" How lighthearted, how human he seemed as he laughed now, his face untroubled. He was a different Edward than the one I had known. And I felt all the more love-struck by him. It would cause me physical pain to be separated from him now.

"I can't be sure, I'm still woozy," I managed to respond. "I think it's some of both, though."

He laughed.

"You're intoxicated by my very presence, aren't you?" He was grinning that playful smirk again.

"That's an understatement," I sighed. "And are you not affected at all?" I asked, annoyed. "By my presence?"

Again his mobile features transformed, his expression became soft, warm. He didn't answer at first; he simply bent his face to mine, and brushed his lips slowly along my jaw, from my ear to my chin, back and forth. I trembled.

"Regardless," he finally murmured, "you do have some power over me."


	15. Chapter 14 Mind Over Matter

**Chapter 14**

**Mind Over Matter**

I noticed that he could drive well, when he kept the speed reasonable, I would have noticed before if I had looked away from so much and if we didn't have that dumb fight.

Like so many things, it seemed to be effortless to him. He barely looked at the road, yet the tires never strayed as much as a centimeter from the center of the lane. He drove one-handed, holding my hand on the seat. Sometimes he gazed into the setting sun; sometimes he glanced at me, my face, my hair blowing out the open window, our hands twined together.

He had turned the radio to an oldies station, and he sang along with a song I'd never heard of. He knew every line.

"You have a pretty sing voice," I commented.

He smiled his uneven smile. "Thank you; as do you have a lovely sing voice as well."

I blushed; "You like fifties music?" I asked.

"Music in the fifties was good. Much better than the sixties or the seventies, ugh!" He shuddered. "The eighties were bearable."

"So am ever going to find out, how old you are?" I asked, uncertain, not wanting to upset his cheerful humor.

"Does it matter much?" His smile, to my relief, remained unclouded.

"No, but I still wonder…" I grimaced. "There's nothing like an unsolved mystery to keep you up at night."

"I wonder if it will upset you," he reflected to himself. He gazed into the sun; the minutes passed.

"Let's see what happens," I finally said.

He sighed, and then looked into my eyes, seeming to forget the road completely for a time. Whatever he saw there must have encouraged him. He looked into the sun; the light of the setting orb glittered off his skin in ruby-tinged sparkles, then he spoke.

"I was born in Chicago in 1901." He paused and glanced at me from the corner of his eyes. I was mentally added up the years.

"So you're 103 years old." I said

He continued to watch me; my face was carefully unsurprised, now patient for the rest. He smiled a tiny smile and continued. "Carlisle found me in a hospital in the summer of 1918. I was seventeen, and dying of the Spanish influenza."

He heard my intake of breath, though it was barely audible to my own ears. He looked down into my eyes again.

"I don't remember it well, it was a very long time ago, and human memories fade." He was lost in his thoughts for a short time before he went on. "I do remember how it felt, when Carlisle saved me. It's not an easy thing, not something you could forget."

"Your parents?"

"They had already died from the disease. I was alone. That was why he chose me. In all the chaos of the epidemic, no one would ever realize I was gone."

"How did he… save you?"

A few seconds passed before he answered. He seemed to choose his words carefully.

"It was difficult. Not many of us have the restraint necessary to accomplish it. But Carlisle has always been the most humane, the most compassionate of us… I don't think you could find his equal throughout all of history." He paused. "For me, it was merely very, very painful."

I could tell from the set of his lips, he would say no more on this subject. I had to try and suppress my curiosity, though I did have some idea from the media view on it. There other thing I'd need to think through on this issue, things that were only beginning to occur to me. No doubt his quick mind had already realized what I was thinking about and how to avoid this subject with me again.

His soft voice interrupted my thoughts. "He acted from loneliness. That's usually the reason behind the choice. I was the first in Carlisle's family, though he found Esme soon after. She fell from a cliff. They brought her straight to the hospital morgue, though, somehow, her heart was still beating."

"So you'd have to be dying, to become a vampire…"

"No, that's just Carlisle. He would never do that to someone who had another choice." The respect in his voice was thoughtful whenever he spoke of his father figure. "It is easier he says, though," he continued, "if the blood is weak." He looked at the now-dark road, and I could feel the subject closing again.

"And Emmett and Rosalie?"

"Carlisle brought Rosalie to our family next. I didn't realize till much later that he was hoping she would be to me what Esme was to him, he was careful with his thoughts around me." He rolled his eyes. "But she was never more than a sister. It was only two years later that she found Emmett. She was hunting; we were in Appalachia at the time, and found a bear about to finish him off. She carried him back to Carlisle, more than a hundred miles, afraid she wouldn't be able to do it herself. I'm only beginning to guess how difficult that journey was for her." He threw a pointed glance in my direction, and raised our hands, still folded together, to brush my cheek with the back of his hand. I smiled, warmly at him.

"But she made it," I encouraged.

"Yes," he murmured. "She saw something in his face that made her strong enough. And they've been together ever since. Sometimes they live separately from us, as a married couple. But the younger we pretend to be, the longer we can stay in any given place. Forks seemed perfect, so we all enrolled in high school." He laughed. "I suppose we'll have to go to their wedding in a few years, _again_."

"Alice and Jasper?"

"Alice and Jasper are two very rare creatures. They both developed a conscience, as we refer to it, with no outside guidance. Jasper belonged to another… family, a _very_ different kind of family. He became depressed, and he wandered on his own. Alice found him. Like me, she has certain gifts above and beyond the norm for our kind."

"Really?" I interrupted, captivated. "But you said you were the only one who could hear people's thoughts."

"That's true. She knows other things. She _sees_ things; things that might happen, things that are coming. But it's very subjective. The future isn't set in stone. Things change."

His jaw set when he said that, and his eyes darted to my face and away so quickly that I wasn't sure if I only imagined it.

"What kind of things does she see?"

"She saw Jasper and knew that he was looking for her before he knew it himself. She saw Carlisle and our family, and they came together to find us. She's most sensitive to non-humans. She always sees, for example, when another group of our kind is coming near. And any threat they may pose."

"Are there a lot of vampires?" I was surprised. How many of them could walk among us undetected?

"No, not many. But most won't settle in any one place. Only those like us, who've given up hunting you people," a sly glance in my direction, "can live together with humans for any length of time. We've only found one other family like ours, in a small village in Alaska. We lived together for a time, but there were so many of us that we became too noticeable. Those of us who live… differently tend to band together."

"And the others?"

"Nomads, for the most part. We've all lived that way at times. It gets tedious, like anything else. But we run across the others now and then, because most of us prefer the North."

"Why is that?"

We were parked in front of my house now, and he'd turned off the truck. It was very quiet and dark; there was no moon. The van wasn't there so I knew mom wasn't home yet.

"Did you have your eyes open this afternoon?" he teased. "Do you think I could walk down the street in the sunlight without causing traffic accidents? There's a reason why we chose the Olympic Peninsula, one of the most sunless places in the world. It's nice to be able to go outside in the day. You wouldn't believe how tired you can get of nighttime in eighty-odd years."

"So that's where the legends came from?"

"Probably."

"And Alice came from another family, like Jasper?"

"No, and that _is_ a mystery. Alice doesn't remember her human life at all. And she doesn't know who created her. She awoke alone. Whoever made her walked away, and none of us understand why, or how, he could. If she hadn't had that other sense, if she hadn't seen Jasper and Carlisle and known that she would someday become one of us, she probably would have turned into a total savage."

There was so much to think through, so much I still wanted to ask. But, before I could even ask; to my great embarrassment, my stomach growled. I hadn't even noticed I was hungry. I realized now that I was starving. Strange for me, but today events must have distracted me from my hunger.

"I'm sorry; I'm keeping you from dinner."

"I'm fine, really."

"I've never spent much time around anyone who eats food. I forget."

"I want to stay with you, please don't go." It was easier to say in the darkness, knowing as I spoke how my voice would betray me, my hopeless addiction to him.

"Can't I come in?" he asked.

"Would you like to?" I sounded eager for a _yes_. Though, it was funny to picture this godlike creature sitting in my TV room couch or at dinner table.

"Yes, if it's all right." I heard the door close quietly, and almost at the same time he was outside my door, opening it for me.

"Very human," I complimented him.

"It's definitely resurfacing."

He walked beside me in the night, so quietly I had to peek at him continuously to be sure he was still there. In the darkness he looked much more normal. Still pale, still dreamlike in his beauty, but no longer the fantastic gleaming creature of our sunlit afternoon.

He reached the door ahead of me and opened it for me. I paused halfway through the frame.

"The door was unlocked?"

"No, I used the key from under the eave."

I stepped inside, flicked on the porch light, and turned to look at him with my eyebrows raised. I was sure I'd never used that key in front of him.

"I was curious about you."

"You spied on me?" I wasn't sure if I should be outraged or flattered.

He was unapologetic. "What else is there to do at night?" Is spying on someone normal for a vampire?

I let it go for the moment and went down the hall to the kitchen. He was there before me, needing no guide. He sat in the very chair I'd tried to picture him in. His beauty lit up the kitchen. It was a moment before I could look away.

I started to get my dinner, taking last night's meatloaf from the fridge, placing a square on a plate with some yellow, heating it in the microwave. It revolved, filling the kitchen with the smell of herbs and spices. I didn't take my eyes from the plate of food as I spoke.

"How often?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

"Hmmm?" He sounded as if I had pulled him from some other train of thought.

I still didn't turn around. "How often did you come here?"

"I come here almost every night."

I whirled, stunned. "What? Why?!"

"You're interesting when you sleep." He spoke matter-of-factly. "Sometime, you talk."

"What?! No!" I gasped, heat flooding my face all the way to my hairline. I gripped the kitchen counter for support. I didn't know I talked in my sleep, but I did know that I snored; my friends teased me about it. I hadn't thought it was something I needed to worry about here, though. But, not only that I talked in my sleep; I preyed I didn't say anything on the nights my dreams were highly sexual.

"I…I talk?!" I asked; clearly and highly embarrassed.

"At times, yes…On those nights you move a lot in your sleep. Most of the times you are laying on your back when you spoke." He watched my face, His expression shifted instantly to chagrin. "Are you very angry with me?"

"That depends!" I felt and sounded like I'd had the breath knocked out of me.

He waited.

"On?" he urged.

"What you heard!" I whimpered.

Instantly, silently, he was at my side, taking my hands carefully in his.

"Don't be upset!" he pleaded. He dropped his face to the level of my eyes, holding my gaze. Still embarrassed, I looked away.

"You miss your friends," he whispered. "Once you said, 'It's too _green.'"_ He laughed softly, hoping, not to offend me further.

"Anything else?" I demanded.

He knew what I was getting at. "You did say my name," he admitted.

I sighed in defeat. "A lot?"

"How much do you mean by 'a lot,' exactly?"

"Oh no!" I hung my head. "I must have sounded so dumb." I could just picture what I could have said with his name. Why me?!

He pulled me against his chest, softly, naturally.

"Don't be self-conscious," he whispered in my ear. "If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it."

Then we both heard the sound tires on the brick driveway, saw the headlights flash through the front windows, down the hall to us. I stiffened in his arms.

"Should your Mother know I'm here?" he asked.

"No…You know about her rule, right?" I tried to think of an excuse for him being here.

"Another time then…"

And I was alone.

"Edward, don't go!" I hissed.

I heard a ghostly chuckle, then nothing else.

My Mother's key turned in the door.

"Diana?" She called.

"In here." I hoped she couldn't hear the panic-stricken edge to my voice. I grabbed my dinner from the microwave and sat at the table as she walked in. Her footsteps sounded so noisy after my day with Edward.

"Can you warm me up some of that? I'm worn-out."

I took my food with me, eating it as I got her dinner. I filled two glasses with juice while her food was heating, and gulped mine. As I set the glass down, I noticed the juice trembling and realized my hand was shaking. She sat down at the dinner table.

"Thanks," She said as I placed her food on the table.

"How was your day?" I asked. The words were rushed; I was dying to escape to my room.

"Good. Church was nice and I found a wonderful library not far from here…how about you? Did you get everything done that you wanted to?"

"Not really, it was too nice out to stay indoors." I took a big bite of my meatloaf.

"It was a nice day," she agreed.

Finished with the last bite of my meatloaf and rice, I lifted my glass and chugged the remains of my juice.

"You're in a hurry?"

"Yeah, I'm tired. I'm going to bed early."

"You look kinda hyper up," he noted.

"Do I?" was all I could manage in response. I quickly put my dishes in the dish washer.

"No plans tonight?" She asked suddenly.

"No, Mom, I just want to get some sleep."

"None of the boys in town your type, eh?" She was suspicious, but trying to play it cool.

"No, none of the boys have caught my eye yet." Why, does she have this sudden interest in my love life; Mom must be worried about me…

"I thought maybe that Mike Newton… you said he was friendly."

"He's_ Just_ a friend, Mom."

"Well, you're too good for them all, anyway. Wait till you get to college to start looking, their a lot more mature at that age."

"Sounds good to me, I do like them mature" I agreed as I headed up the stairs.

"'Night, honey," She called after me.

"See you in the morning, Ma."

I worked on making my walk up stairs sound slow and tired. Once I got to my room shut the door loud enough for her to hear, and then walked quietly to the window. I threw it open and leaned out into the night. My eyes scanned the darkness, the dense shadows of the trees.

"Edward?" I whispered, feeling completely idiotic.

The quiet, laughing response came from behind me. "Yes?"

I jumped, gasping a bit as one hand pressing on my chest; I whirled.

He lay, smiling hugely, across my bed, his hands behind his head, the picture of ease.

"Oh, you surprised!" I breathed, sitting on the small build in couch in front of my window.

"I'm sorry." He pressed his lips together, trying to hide his amusement.

"Just give me a minute to restart my heart."

He sat up slowly, so as not to startle me again. Once he was in front of me, he leaned forward and reached out with his long arms to pick me up, carrying me to my bed. He sat me on the bed then sat himself next to me.

"Why don't you sit with me," he suggested, putting a cold hand on mine. "How's the heart?"

"You tell me; I'm sure you hear it better than I can."

I felt his quiet laughter shake the bed.

We sat there for a moment in silence, both listening to my heartbeat slow. The thought of having Edward in my room, something I have been fantasies is so many dreams though in those dream mom wasn't in the house.

"I'll be right, back" I said as I started to get up.

"Certainly."

"Stay," I said, trying to look serious.

"Yes, ma'am." And he made a show of becoming a statue on the edge of my bed.

I went to my dresser, grabbing my rarely used Betty Boop pajamas and a set of clean panties. I left the light on and slipped out, closing the door.

I could hear the sound of the TV as I walked to the bathroom. I closed and locked bathroom door behind me, wondering if mom heard me.

Before did anything I had to be a total dork for a moment; I squealed and danced for joy. Not only did I get my first kiss today but Edward was in my room waiting for me. Today so the best day ever; after a few more minutes of my dorky moment, I tried to do what I had to in a hurry; brushing my teeth, trying to removing all traces of food. But the hot water of the shower couldn't be rushed. It felt so good on my tense muscles, calming my pulse. I tried not to think of Edward, sitting in my room, waiting, because then I may to start squealing again; Mom or even worse Edward may check on me to see if I was alright. Finally, I couldn't delay anymore. I shut off the water, toweling myself dry, rushing again. I pulled on my t-shirt, underwear, then pants.

I rubbed the towel through my hair, and then yanked the brush through it and quickly putting it in a bun. I threw the towel in the hamper, then spraying myself with a little cherry bloom perfume.

I quietly walked to my bedroom door, quickly going inside of it closing and locking the door tightly behind me.

Edward hadn't moved a tiny proportion of an inch, a carving of perfect statue settled on my bed. I smiled, and his lips twitched, the statue coming to life.

His eyes appraised me, taking in the damp hair, and betty boop Pajamas. He raised one eyebrow. "Nice."

I grimaced.

"No, it looks good on you; you look cute."

"Thanks," I whispered. I went back to his side, sitting cross-legged beside him. I looked at the lines in the wooden floor.

"What was all that for?"

"I wanted to smell nice for you." I wondered if he noticed my perfume.

"Oh." He pressed his lips again, he looked as if was holding back a laugh.

"uh…" I then got what he must have thought. "Oh, you know what I mean…" He lifted my chin, examining my face.

"By the way, why were you shrieking? You sounded as if you saw a ghost. " He asked, as I blushed.

Of course he heard me. "Oh, that…that was nothing, really…"

He looked at me, puzzled. "You look very warm."

"I guess, I stayed in the warm water to long."

He bent his face slowly to mine, laying his cool cheek against my skin. I tired my best to stay perfectly still.

"Mmmmmm…" he breathed.

It was very hard, while he was touching me, to form a question. It took me a minute to begin.

"It seems to be… getting easier for you, now, to be close to me."

"Does it seem that way to you?" he murmured, his nose gliding to the corner of my jaw. I felt his hand, lighter than a moth's wing, brushing a stray piece of damp hair back, so that his lips could touch the hollow under my ear.

"Much, much easier," I said, trying to exhale.

"Hmm."

"So I was wondering…" I began again, but his fingers were slowly tracing my collarbone, and I lost my train of thought.

"Yes?" he breathed.

"…Why is that," my voice shook, embarrassing me, "do you think?"

I felt the tremble of his breath on my neck as he laughed. "Mind over matter." As I he continued I felt as If we slip into one of my fantasy dreams.

I pulled back; as I moved, he froze; and I could no longer hear the sound of his breathing.

We stared cautiously at each other for a moment, and then, as his clenched jaw gradually relaxed, his expression became puzzled.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No, the opposite. You're driving me crazy," I explained.

He considered that for a bit, and when he spoke, he sounded pleased. "Really?" A victorious smile slowly lit his face.

"Would you like a round of applauses or a high five?" I asked sarcastically.

He grinned.

"I'm just pleasantly surprised," he explained. "In the last hundred years or so," his voice was teasing, "I never imagined anything like this. I didn't believe I would ever find someone I wanted to be with… in another way than my brothers and sisters. And then to find, even though it's all new to me, that I'm good at it… at being with you…"

"You're good at everything," I pointed out.

He shrugged, allowing that, and we both laughed in whispers.

"But how can it be so easy now?" I pressed. "This afternoon…"

"It's not _easy_," he sighed. "But this afternoon, I was still… undecided. I am sorry about that, it was unforgivable for me to behave so."

"Not unforgivable," I disagreed.

"Thank you." He smiled. "You see," he continued, looking down now, "I wasn't sure if I was strong enough…" He picked up one of my hands and pressed it lightly to his face. I smiled. "And while there was still that possibility that I might be… overcome." He breathed in the scent at my wrist, "I was… susceptible. Until I made up my mind that I _was_ strong enough, that there was no possibility at all that I would… that I ever could…"

I'd never seen him struggle so hard for words. It was so… human.

"So there's no chance now?"

"Mind over matter," he repeated, smiling, his teeth bright even in the darkness. Seeing his teeth reminded me of the question I was going to ask a while, but he stopped me because it was his turn to ask the questions. I decided to ask another day, the question would just spoil his good mood.

"Wow, that was easy," I said.

He threw back his head and laughed, quietly as a whisper, but still wildly.

"Easy for _you_!" he adjusted, touching my nose with his fingertip.

And then his face was abruptly serious. Again with the mood changes, maybe he should see a doctor.

"I'm trying," he whispered, his voice pained. "If it gets to be… too much, I'm fairly sure I'll be able to leave."

I scowled. I didn't like the talk of leaving.

"And it will be harder tomorrow," he continued. "I've had the scent of you in my head all day, and I've grown amazingly desensitized. If I'm away from you for any length of time, I'll have to start over again. Not quite from scratch, though, I think."

"Don't leave, then," I grinned, unable to hide the longing in my voice.

"That suits me," he replied, his face relaxing into a gentle smile. "Bring on the shackles; I'm your prisoner." But his long hands formed cuffs around _my_ wrists as he spoke. He laughed his quiet, musical laugh. He'd laughed more tonight than I'd ever heard in all the time I'd spent with him.

"You seem more… cheerful than usual," I observed. "I haven't seen you like this before."

"Isn't it supposed to be like this?" He smiled. "The glory of first love, and all that; it's incredible, isn't it, the difference between reading about something, seeing it in the pictures, and experiencing it?"

"Very different," I agreed.

"For example," his words flowed swiftly now, I had to concentrate to catch it all. "The emotion of jealousy, I've read about it a hundred thousand times, seen actors portray it in a thousand different plays and movies. I believed I understood that one pretty clearly. But it shocked me…" He grimaced. "Do you remember the day that Mike asked you to the dance?"

I nodded, though I remembered that day for a different reason. "The day you started talking to me again."

"I was surprised by the flare of resentment, almost fury that I felt; I didn't recognize what it was at first. I was even more aggravated than usual that I couldn't know what you were thinking, why you refused him. Was it simply for your friend's sake? Was there someone else? I knew I had no right to care either way. I _tried_ not to care."

"And then the line started forming," he chuckled. I scowled in the darkness.

"I waited, unreasonably anxious to hear what you would say to them, to watch your expressions. I couldn't deny the relief I felt, watching the annoyance on your face. But I couldn't be sure.

"That was the first night I came here. I struggled all night, while watching you sleep, with the chasm between what I knew was _right_, moral, ethical, and what I _wanted_. I knew that if I continued to ignore you as I should, or if I left for a few years, till you were gone, that someday you would say yes to Mike, or someone like him. It made me angry."

"And then," he whispered, "as you were moving and sleeping, you said my name. You spoke so clearly, at first I thought you'd woken. But you rolled on to your back restlessly and mumbled my name once more, and sighed. The feeling that coursed through me then was unnerving, staggering. And I knew I couldn't ignore you any longer." He was silent for a moment, probably listening to the suddenly uneven pounding of my heart.

"But jealousy… it's a strange thing. So much more powerful than I would have thought. And unreasonable! Just now, when Rachel asked you about that vile Mike Newton…" He shook his head angrily.

"I should have known you'd be listening," I groaned.

"Of course."

"_That_ made you feel jealous, though, really?" I held back a giggle. 'Edward, you are too cute.'

"I'm new at this; you're resurrecting the human in me, and everything feels stronger because it's fresh."

"But really," I teased, "for that to bother you, after I have to hear that Rosalie; Rosalie! The incarnation of pure beauty, _Rosalie_ was meant for you. Emmett or no Emmett, how can I compete with that?"

"There's no competition." His teeth gleamed. He drew my trapped hands around his back, holding me to his chest. I kept as still as I could, even breathing with caution.

"I _know_ there's no competition," I mumbled into his cold skin. "That's the problem."

"Of course Rosalie _is_ beautiful in her way, but even if she wasn't like a sister to me, even if Emmett didn't belong with her, she could never have one tenth, no, one hundredth of the attraction you hold for me." He was serious now, thoughtful. "For almost ninety years I've walked among my kind and yours… all the time thinking I was complete in myself, not realizing what I was seeking. And not finding anything, because you weren't alive yet."

My face still resting on his chest; listening to his breaths coming and going, I felt my face's warmth grow, highly.

"Seems hardly fair, doesn't it?" He teased.

"I guess…" I responded, wondering what he was getting at."

He nodded, agreeing with amusement. "Maybe I should make this harder for you, definitely." He freed one of his hands, released my wrist, only to gather it carefully into his other hand. He stroked my wet hair softly. "You only have to risk your life every second you spend with me, that's surely not much. You only have to turn your back on nature, on humanity… what's that worth?"

"Very little, I don't feel withdrawn from anything."

"Not yet." And his voice was abruptly full of ancient grief.

I tried to pull back, to look in his face, but his hand locked my wrists in an unbreakable hold.

"What..." I started to ask, when his body became alert. I froze, but he suddenly released my hands, and disappeared. I narrowly avoided falling on my face.

"Lie down!" he hissed. I couldn't tell where he spoke from in the darkness.

I rolled under my blanket; I heard the door handled jig then a knock at the door. She didn't say anything; I guessed she was waiting for me to reply. I stayed still, breathing evenly, overstating the movement.

A long minute passed. I listened, not sure if I'd heard her walk away. Then Edward's cool arm was around me, under the covers, his lips at my ear.

"You are a terrible actress; I'd say that career path is out for you."

"Oh, darn it," I muttered, humorously. My heart was crashing in my chest.

He hummed a melody I didn't recognize; it sounded like a lullaby.

He paused. "Should I sing you to sleep?"

"Right," I laughed. "Like I can sleep with you here!"

"You do it all the time," he reminded me.

"But I didn't _know_ you were here," I replied coldly.

"So if you don't want to sleep…" he suggested, ignoring my tone. My breath caught.

"If I don't want to sleep… ?"

He chuckled. "What do you want to do then?"

I couldn't answer at first.

I shrugged "I'm not sure," I finally said.

"Tell me when you decide."

I could feel his cool breath on my neck, feel his nose sliding along my jaw, inhaling.

"I thought you were desensitized."

"Just because I'm resisting the wine doesn't mean I can't appreciate the bouquet," he whispered. "You have a very floral and sweet smell, like lavender with honey… or freesia with Caramel," he noted. "It's mouthwatering."

"Thanks, I think."

He chuckled, and then sighed.

"I've decided what I want to do," I told him. "I want to hear more about you."

"Ask me anything."

I sifted through my questions for the most important. "Why do you do it?" I said. "I still don't get why you work so hard to resist what you are. Please don't misunderstand me, of course I'm glad that you do. I just don't see why you would bother in the first place."

He hesitated before answering. "That's a good question, and you are not the first one to ask it; the others, the majority of our kind who are quite content with our lot. Hey, too, wonder at how we live. But you see, just because we've been… dealt a certain hand… it doesn't mean that we can't choose to rise above, to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted. To try to retain whatever essential humanity we can."

I lay unmoving, locked in awed silence.

"Did you fall asleep?" he whispered after a few minutes.

"No."

"Is that all you were curious about?"

I rolled my eyes. "Not even quite."

"What else do you want to know?"

"Why can you read minds, why only you? And Alice, seeing the future… why is that?"

I felt him shrug in the darkness. "We don't really know. Carlisle has a theory… he believes that we all bring something of our strongest human traits with us into the next life, where they are intensified; like our minds, and our senses. He thinks that I must have already been very sensitive to the thoughts of those around me. And that Alice had some precognition, wherever she was."

"What did he bring into the next life, and the others?"

"Carlisle brought his compassion. Esme brought her ability to love passionately. Emmett brought his strength, Rosalie her… tenacity. Or you could call it pigheadedness." he chuckled, I softly giggled. "Jasper is very interesting. He was quite charismatic in his first life, able to influence those around him to see things his way. Now he is able to manipulate the emotions of those around him, calm down a room of angry people, for example, or excite a lethargic crowd, conversely. It's a very subtle gift."

I considered the impossibilities he described, trying to take it in. He waited patiently while I thought.

"So where did it all start? I mean, Carlisle changed you, and then someone must have changed him, and so on…"

"Well, where did you come from? Evolution? Creation? Couldn't we have evolved in the same way as other species, predator and prey? Or, if you don't believe that all this world could have just happened on its own, which is hard for me to accept myself, is it so hard to believe that the same force that created the delicate angelfish with the shark, the baby seal and the killer whale, could create both our kinds together?"

"Let me get this straight; I'm the baby seal, right?"

"Right." He laughed, and something touched my hair, his lips maybe?

I wanted to turn toward him, to see if it was really his lips against my hair. But I had to be good; I didn't want to make this any harder for him than it already was.

"Are you ready to sleep?" he asked, interrupting the short silence. "Or do you have any more questions?"

"Only a million, zillion more."

"We have tomorrow, and the next day, and the next…" he reminded me. I smiled, euphoric at the thought.

"Are you sure you won't disappear in the morning?" I wanted this to be certain. "You are mythical, after all."

"I won't leave you." His voice had the seal of a promise in it.

"Two more, then I'll go to sleep…"

He chuckled. "And what would they be?"

"Well, the first one is something I've being wondering for a while." I paused.

"Yes?"

"Do you have fangs?"

He didn't answer at first. "If I did have fangs, what would you do."

I smiled to myself. "Well, I would like to see them, if that isn't a bother to you."

"I'm more worried about how you'll react to them."

"Oh, so you do have fangs?" I sounded excited; clearly my vampire fan-girl side was show.

"Yes, but their tugged away; we usual only use them for hunting and for intimidation."

"Is it okay, if I see them?" I asked, still sounding eager.

He considered it for a moment; as I waited; I heard an almost flicking sound. Like the sound a light switch makes when turned on or off, if it wasn't so quiet I may have not heard it.

"Edward?" He loosened his hold on me so I could look up. There on his top set of teeth were to fangs. They did make him look more intimidating. "Do you mind if I…" He stopped me, already knowing what I wanted; He opened his mouth a little more.

"Please, stay clear of the tips; their very sharp." He cautioned.

I nodded, slowly I moved a hand to his lips; trying to be gentle, I started to touch his lips with the tips of my fingers. The corners craving upward, making sure to be very careful; with my first finger I gently brushed the side of one of his fangs. I giggled lightly before hugging him. He froze in my arms, quickly realizing I look up at him apologetically.

"Sorry"

He unfroze. "It's alright." He smiled.

I softly rest my head on his chest. "Thanks, for letting me be the Vampire dork fan-girl that I am."

He chuckled. "Anytime." I heard the flicking sound again; must likely he put them away.

"You said you had two questions, what is it?"

I blushed. The darkness was no help, I'm sure he could feel the sudden warmth under my skin.

"Forget it. I changed my mind."

"Diana, you know can ask me anything."

I didn't answer, and he groaned.

"I keep thinking it will get less frustrating, not hearing your thoughts. But it just gets worse and _worse_."

"I'm glad you can't read my thoughts. It's bad enough that you eavesdrop on my sudden sleep-talking and…snoring." I sighed

"Please?" His voice was so persuasive, so impossible to resist.

I shook my head.

"If you don't tell me, I'll just assume it's something much worse than it is," he threatened darkly. "Please?" Again, that pleading voice.

"Well," I began, glad that he couldn't see my face.

"Yes?"

"You said that Rosalie and Emmett will get married soon… Is that… marriage… the same as it is for humans?"

He laughed in earnest now, understanding. "Is _that_ what you're getting at?"

I squirmed, unable to answer.

"Yes, I suppose it is much the same," he said. "I told you, most of those human desires are there, just hidden behind more powerful desires."

"Oh," was all I could say.

"Was there a purpose behind your curiosity?"

"Well, I did wonder… about you and me… someday…"

He was instantly serious, I could tell by the sudden stillness of his body. I froze, too, reacting automatically.

"I don't think that… that… would be possible for us."

"Because it would be too hard for you, if I were that… close?"

"That's certainly a problem. But that's not what I was thinking of. It's just that you are so soft, so fragile. I have to mind my actions every moment that we're together so that I don't hurt you. I could kill you quite easily, Diana, simply by accident." His voice had become just a soft murmur. He moved his icy palm to rest it against my cheek. "If I was too hasty… if for one second I wasn't paying enough attention, I could reach out, meaning to touch your face, and crush your skull by mistake. You don't realize how incredibly _breakable_ you are. I can never, never afford to lose any kind of control when I'm with you."

He waited for me to respond, growing anxious when I didn't. "Are you scared?" he asked.

I waited for a minute to answer, so the words would be true. "Not really."

He seemed to deliberate for a moment. "I'm curious now, though," he said, his voice light again. "Have _you_ ever… ?" He trailed off suggestively.

"No, of course not." I flushed. "I told you I've never felt like this about anyone before, not even close."

"I know. It's just that I know other people's thoughts. I know love and lust don't always keep the same company."

"They do for me. Now, anyway, that they exist for me at all," I sighed.

"That's nice. We have that one thing in common, at least." He sounded satisfied.

"Your human instincts…" I began. He waited. "Well, do you find me attractive, in _that_ way, at all?"

He laughed and lightly rumpled my nearly dry hair.

"I may not be a human, but I am a man," he assured me.

I yawned.

"I've answered your questions, now you should sleep," he insisted.

"I'm not sure if I can."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No!" I said little too loudly.

He laughed, and then began to hum that same, unfamiliar lullaby; the voice of an archangel, soft in my ear.

More tired than I realized, exhausted from the long day of mental and emotional stress like I'd never felt before, and more joy I had ever felt in one day. I drifted to sleep in his cold arms.


	16. Chapter 15 Cullens

**Chapter 15**

** Cullens **

I slowly woke on my back; my eyes opening slightly dazed. Something, a dream trying to be remembered, struggled to break into my now awake mind. I groaned and rolled on my side, closing my eyes; hoping for more sleep would come. And then the previous day flooded back into my awareness. I sat up so fast it made my head spin.

"Your hair looks like a haystack… but I like it." His at ease voice came from the corner of my bed.

"Edward! You stayed!" I rejoiced, and thoughtlessly threw myself across the bed and into his lap. In the instant that my thoughts caught up with my actions, I froze, tho something I wanted to do yesterday but couldn't because may cross a wrong line. I stared up at him, apologetic; hoping I didn't upset him.

But he laughed.

"Of course," he answered, startled, but seeming pleased by my reaction. His hands rubbed my back.

I laid my head carefully against his shoulder, breathing in the smell of his skin.

"I was so sure it was a dream."

"You're not that creative," he scoffed; I huffed in disagreement.

"Mom!" I remembered, thoughtlessly jumping up again and heading to the door; unlocking it quietly then peeking my head out to listen if she was awake.

"She left an hour ago…"

"Why?" I asked, didn't think she had work today; she usually had weekends off.

"The hospital called; someone called in sick. So they needed her to fill in." He explained, like he heard the whole conversion; which when I thought about it; he must have.

I stayed where I stood, wanting to return to him badly, but afraid I might have morning breath.

"You're not usually this confused in the morning," he noted. He held his arms open for me to return. A nearly took his appealing invitation.

"I need human minute, sorry" I admitted.

"Not to worry, I'll wait."

I walked happily, to the bathroom, my emotion unrecognizable. The face in the mirror was practically a stranger; eyes too bright, excited spots of red across my cheekbones. After I brushed my teeth, I worked to straighten out the tangled chaos that was my hair. I brushed my hair trying to tame it down, putting it into a ponytail. I tried to breathe normally, with a little success. After washing my face and drying it; I nearly ran back to my room.

It seemed like a miracle that he was there, his arms still waiting for me. He reached out to me, and my heart thumped unsteadily.

"Welcome back," he murmured, taking me into his arms.

He rubbed my again; for a while in silence, when I noticed that his clothes were changed, his hair look recently washed and smooth.

"You left?" I accused, touching the collar of his fresh shirt.

"I could hardly leave in the clothes I came in; what would the neighbors think?"

I laughed.

"You were very deeply asleep; I didn't miss anything." His eyes gleamed. "The talking came earlier."

I sighed. "I talked again?" I must have since I woke on my back. "So what did I say this time?"

His gold eyes grew very soft. "You said you loved me."

"Oh," I sounded a little embarrassed. "But, knew that already, right?" I asked him, ducking my head.

"Yes, But it was nice to hear, just the same."

I hid my face against his shoulder.

"I love you," I whispered.

"You are my life now," he answered simply.

I hugged him. "Edward, thank you so much."

"For what?"

"For saying that, it makes me so happy."

"Diana."

"Yes?" I looked up at him, my heart filled with joy and happiness.

He smiled. "Hold still." I smiled wide; quickly relaxing my face, I closed my eyes doing my best to stay still.

"now be good." He whispered, before lightly pressing his cool lips to mine. Sadly pulling away too soon, Tho I wished the kiss was longer I sighed happily. Carefully resting my head back on his shoulder as the room grew lighter.

"Breakfast time," he said eventually, in an informal way to prove, that he remembered all my human needs.

So I clutched my throat with both hands and stared at him with wide eyes. Shock crossed his face.

"Just kidding!" I snickered. "And you said I couldn't act! HA!"

He frowned in disgust. "That wasn't funny."

"It was so funny, and you know it." But I examined his gold eyes carefully, to make sure that he forgave me. Apparently, I was.

"Shall I rephrase?" he asked. "Breakfast time for the human."

"Alrighty."

He threw me over his stone shoulder, gently, but with a swiftness that left me breathless. I protested as he carried me easily down the stairs, but he ignored me. He sat me right side of the dinner table, on a chair.

The kitchen was bright, happy, seeming to absorb my mood.

"So what's for breakfast?" I asked pleasantly.

That threw him for a minute.

"Er, I'm not sure. What would you like?" His marble brow puckered.

I grinned, hopping up.

"That's all right, I'll find something." I grinned.

I got a bowl and a box of fruits loops. I could feel his eyes on me as I poured the milk, grabbing a bottle of Sunny-Dee then a spoon. I sat my food on the table, and then paused.

"Would you like anything?" I asked, not wanting to be rude.

He rolled his eyes. "Just eat, Diana."

I sat at the table, watching him now. I smiled, as I took a bite. He was gazing at me, studying my every movement. It made me self-conscious. I cleared my mouth to speak, to distract him.

"So any plans; anything you would like to do?" I asked.

"Hmmm…" I watched him frame his answer carefully. "What would you say to meeting my family?"

I paused and some what froze.

"Are you afraid now?" He sounded hopeful.

"Yes," I admitted; how could I deny it; he could see my eyes.

"Don't worry." He smirked. "I'll protect you."

"That's not why I'm scared; I'm not afraid of _them_," I explained. "I'm afraid they won't… like me. Won't they be, well, upset that you would bring someone… like me… home to meet them? Do they know that I know about your secret?"

"Oh, they already know everything. They'd taken bets yesterday, you know." he smiled, but his voice was harsh, "on whether I'd bring you back, though why anyone would bet against Alice, I can't imagine. At any rate, we don't have secrets in the family. It's not really feasible, what with my mind reading and Alice seeing the future and all that."

"Also Jasper making you feel, all warm and fuzzy about spilling your guts, can't forget that."

"You paid attention," he smiled approvingly.

"I do have my moments." I giggled. "So…Um…Did Alice see me coming?"

His reaction was strange. "Something like that," he said uncomfortably, turning away so I couldn't see his eyes. I stared at him, now curious.

"Is that any good?" he asked, turning back to me unexpectedly and eyeing my breakfast with a teasing look on his face. "Honestly, it doesn't look very appetizing."

"I like it, but I guess it's no bad-tempered grizzly…" I murmured, ignoring him when he glowered. I was still wondering why he responded that way when I mentioned Alice. I hurried through my cereal, still wondering.

He stood in the middle of the kitchen, as still as a statue again, staring distractedly out the window over the sink.

Then his eyes were back on me, and he smiled his heartbreaking smile.

"You should introduce me to your Mother, too."

"She already knows you; she's met your dad." I reminded him.

"As your boyfriend, I mean."

I blushed at the word, quickly with a hand covering my mouth to hide the big dorky smile that went across my face. I tried my hardest not to giggle. I'd had always dreamed of having a boyfriend. And not only did I have one, but for him to Edward; the most wonderful person I had ever met. So hearing him finally say it made me so happy. When I thought about it I felt something more then just a love for a boyfriend. Tho I was sure exactly what I was feeling; this kind of stuff still so new to me.

I think he got worried because when he spoke he sounded concerned. "Diana, Are you alright?"

I didn't say anything, I simple nodded.

"You don't want me to your boyfriend?" He sounded sad.

I quickly looked at him; shocked. "I didn't say that!" I said in a rush. Hoping my reaction didn't scary him off.

"Then why did yo-" But I stopped before he could finish.

"Edward, I've…The thing is…" I had a hard time putting my words together.

"Diana?" He sounded concerned again.

"Sorry, if my reaction worried you. I was just so happy to hear you say that."

He smiled; seeming relieved. "I'm glad; but that doesn't really explain your reaction."

I chuckled, embarrassed. "I can something be a big dork about this kind of things; so I was trying to hide the big goofy smile I was making. And also holding back a few giggles."

He looked at me, puzzled. "Why?"

"I didn't want to weird you out." I said, still embarrassed; wishing he would just drop it.

He was suddenly gone from the kitchen; standing behind me. He surprised me; it took me a minute before I could look up at him, but when I did. He had a big smile on his face.

"Diana Martin, nothing you do will ever bother me." He said, still smiling.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything" He said as he sat in the chair next to me.

"You know I love you; but do you love me?"

"Of course." He softly crested my cheek in his hand; I smiled, resting my hand over his.

"Why? Are you in love with me or my scent?" I wasn't sure why I felt this sudden insecurity. Maybe the thought of meeting his family was making me feel unsure.

He crested my other cheek; gently hold my face. He smiled his croaked smile. "Diana, I love you. I love you more then anything in the world. Yes I do love your scent, but that isn't my only reason. I love your smile, the way you talk; I love how the littlest things we do together make you so happy." My cheeks warmed under his cold hand as he continued. "Even tho I don't really understand your fascination for fictionally Vampires; I still love you for it. So be yourself with me; as I am with you." He lightly kissed my nose, my cheek, my neck; then softly he let go of my face.

I smiled. "Thank you, Edward."

He smiled back. "Anytime."

"I should warn you; I'm very affectionate. I may suddenly hug you or kiss you."

He held my hands in his. "I welcome it; but how things are right now, I ask you try to give me a bit warning first."

I grinned. "Deal."

He brushed my cheek with the side of his hand. "Also remember, no matter what happens; I'll be here. I'll never leave you."

"You promise?"

He kissed my forehead slowly. "I promise."

Knowing he would just bring the subject up again. A little suspicious I asked. "Why, do you want to let mom know about us?"

"Isn't that customary?" he asked innocently.

"I don't know, you're my first boyfriend." I admitted; smiling again at the word _boyfriend_. Not only that fact; but I doubt normal rules of dating applied here. "That's not really necessary, you know. I don't expect you to… I mean, you don't have too."

His smile was patient. "I know."

I played with the remains of my cereal around the bowl.

"Are you going to tell Rachel I'm your boyfriend or not?" he demanded.

"When you think about it; is that what you are?"

"It's a loose interpretation of the word 'boy,' I'll admit."

"I don't know why but I feel as if you are something more, actually," I confessed looking at the table, not sure what I was saying.

"Well, I don't know if we need to give her all the gory details." He reached over to lift my chin with a cold, gentle finger. "But she will need some explanation for why I'm around here so much. I don't want your mother getting a restraining order put on me."

"So you'll keep your promise?" I asked, suddenly anxious. "You'll always be here?"

"As long as you want me," he assured me.

"I'll always want you," I told him. "Forever and ever."

He got up, walked slowly around to my other side, pausing a few feet away, he reached out to touch his fingertips to my cheek. His expression was intense.

"Does that upset you?" I asked.

He didn't answer. He stared into my eyes for an endless period of time.

"Are you finished?" he finally asked.

I jumped up. "Yup."

"Get dressed; I'll wait here."

Once back in my room; thoughts and questions mixing in my mind, but right now was not the time for that. I wasn't sure how to dress. How does someone dress when their vampire sweetheart takes them home to meet his vampire family?

I ended up in my only pair of navy blue jeans; deciding to go casual. I put on my red long sleeved shirt. I took a quick glance in the mirror, fixing my pony tail.

"Okay." I bounced down the stairs. "I'm decent and ready to go."

He was waiting at the foot of the stairs, closer than I'd thought, and I bounded right into him. He steadied me, holding me a careful distance away for a few seconds before suddenly pulling me closer.

"Wrong again," he murmured in my ear. "You are utterly indecent, no one should look so tempting; it's not fair."

"Tempting, how?" I asked. "I can change…"

He sighed, shaking his head. "You are _so_ absurd." He pressed his cool lips delicately to my forehead. The smell of his breath made it impossible to think.

"Shall I explain how you are tempting me?" he said. It was clearly a rhetorical question. His fingers traced slowly down my spine, his breath coming more quickly against my skin. My hands were limp on his chest, and I felt lightheaded. He tilted his head slowly and touched his cool lips to mine for the third time, very carefully, parting them slightly.

And then to my own surprise, I collapsed.

"Diana?" His voice was alarmed as he caught me and held me up.

"You made… me… faint," I accused him dizzily; why was this kiss any different from the kiss he gave me a few minutes ago? Maybe his scent over powered me somehow.

"_What am I going to do with you_?" he groaned in frustration. "Yesterday I kiss you, and you attack me! You were doing so well up stairs. But now you pass out on me!"

I laughed weakly, letting his arms support me while my head spun.

"So much for being good at everything," he sighed.

"That's the problem." I was still dizzy. "Edward, you're good. Far, far too good."

"Do you feel sick?" he asked.

"No, I don't know what happened." I shook my head apologetically, "I think I forgot to breathe this time."

"I can't take you anywhere like this."

"I'm fine," I insisted. "Your family is going to think I'm crazy and weird anyway, what's the difference?"

He measured my expression for a moment. "I'm very partial to that color with your skin," he offered unexpectedly. I flushed with pleasure, and looked away.

"Look, I'm trying really hard not to think about what I'm about to do, so can we go already?" I asked.

"And you're worried, not because you're headed to meet a houseful of vampires, but because you think those vampires won't approve of you, correct?"

"Yeah, that's one way to put it," I answered.

He shook his head. "You're incredible."

He drove my truck out of the main part of town; I had no idea where he was headed or where he lived. We passed over the bridge at the Calawah River, the road winding northward, the houses flashing past us growing farther apart, getting bigger. And then we were past the other houses altogether, driving through misty forest. I was trying to decide whether to ask or be patient, when he turned abruptly onto an unpaved road. It was unmarked, barely visible among the ferns. The forest encroached on both sides, leaving the road ahead only discernible for a few meters as it twisted, serpentlike, around the ancient trees.

And then, after a few miles, there was some thinning of the woods, and we were suddenly in a small meadow, or was it actually a lawn? The gloom of the forest didn't relent, though, for there were six primordial cedars that shaded an entire acre with their vast sweep of branches. The trees held their protecting shadow right up to the walls of the house that rose among them, making obsolete the deep porch that wrapped around the first story.

I don't know what I had expected, but it definitely wasn't anything like this. The house was timeless, graceful, and probably a hundred years old. It was painted a soft, faded white, three stories tall, rectangular and well proportioned. The windows and doors were either part of the original structure or a perfect restoration. My truck was the only car in sight. I could hear the river close by, hidden in the obscurity of the forest.

"Wow." I breathed.

"You like it?" He smiled.

"It's…amazing."

He lightly touched the end of my ponytail and chuckled.

"Ready?" he asked, opening my door.

"Not even a little bit, but let's go anyway." I tried to laugh, but it seemed to get stuck in my throat. I smoothed my hair nervously.

"You look lovely." He took my hand easily, without thinking about it.

We walked through the deep shade up to the porch. I knew he could feel my tension; his thumb rubbed the back of my hand.

He opened the door for me.

The inside was even more surprising, less expected, than the exterior. It was very bright, very open, and very large. This must have originally been several rooms, but the walls had been removed from most of the first floor to create one wide space. The back, south-facing wall had been entirely replaced with glass, and, beyond the shade of the cedars, the lawn stretched bare to the wide river. A massive curving staircase dominated the west side of the room. The walls, the high-beamed ceiling, the wooden floors, and the thick carpets were all varying shades of white.

Waiting to greet us, standing just to the left of the door, on a raised portion of the floor by a spectacular grand piano, were Edward's parents.

I'd seen Dr. Cullen before, of course, yet I couldn't help but be struck again by his youth, his outrageous perfection. At his side was Esme, I assumed, the only one of the family I'd never seen before. She had the same pale, beautiful features as the rest of them. Something about her heart-shaped face, her clouds of soft, caramel-colored hair, reminded me of the time of silent-movies. She was small, slender, yet less angular, more rounded than the others. They were both dressed casually, in light colors that matched the inside of the house. They smiled in welcome, but made no move to approach us. Trying not to frighten me, I guessed.

"Carlisle, Esme," Edward's voice broke the short silence, "this is Diana."

"You're very welcome, Diana." Carlisle's step was measured, careful as he approached me. He raised his hand tentatively, and I stepped forward to shake hands with him.

"It's nice to see you again, Dr. Cullen."

"Please, call me Carlisle."

"Carlisle." I grinned at him; I could feel Edward's relief at my side.

Esme smiled and stepped forward as well, reaching for my hand. Her cold, stone grasp was just as I expected.

"It's very nice to know you," she said sincerely.

"Thank you. I'm glad to meet you, too." And I was. It was like meeting a fairy tale; Snow White, in the flesh.

"Where are Alice and Jasper?" Edward asked, but no one answered, as they had just appeared at the top of the wide staircase.

"Hey, Edward!" Alice called enthusiastically. She ran down the stairs, a streak of black hair and white skin, coming to a sudden and graceful stop in front of me. Carlisle and Esme shot warning glances at her, but I liked it. It was natural; for her, anyway.

"Hi, Diana!" Alice said, and she bounced forward to kiss my cheek. If Carlisle and Esme had looked cautious before, they now looked staggered. There was shock in my eyes, too, but I was also very happy that she seemed to approve of me so completely. I was startled to feel Edward stiffen at my side. I glanced at his face, but his expression was unreadable.

"You do smell nice, I never noticed before," she commented, to my extreme embarrassment.

No one else seemed to know quite what to say, and then Jasper was there, tall and leonine. A feeling of ease spread through me, and I was suddenly comfortable despite where I was. Edward stared at Jasper, raising one eyebrow, and I remembered what Jasper could do.

"Hello, Diana" Jasper said. He kept his distance, not offering to shake my hand. But it was impossible to feel awkward near him.

"Hello, Jasper." I smiled at him shyly, and then at the others. "It's nice to meet you all; you have a very beautiful home," I added conventionally.

"Thank you," Esme said. "We're so glad that you came." She spoke with feeling, and I realized that she thought I was brave.

I noticed that Rosalie and Emmett were nowhere to be seen, and I remembered Edward's too-innocent denial when I'd asked him if the others didn't like me.

Carlisle's expression distracted me from this train of thought; he was gazing meaningfully at Edward with an intense expression. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward nod once.

I looked away, trying to be polite but curious of what they maybe talking about. My eyes wandered again to the beautiful instrument on the platform by the door. I suddenly remembered how I used to play at a young age. But it was around the time of the beginning of my parent's divorce and how every time mom wanted me to practice was at the same time dad would come and visit. I remember whining until she let me quit, because I hated having to practice when Dad visited.

Esme noticed my fixation.

"Do you play?" she asked, inclining her head toward the piano.

I shook my head. "Really long time ago when I kid, but not anymore. It's so beautiful. Is it yours?"

"No," she laughed. "Edward didn't tell you he was musical?"

"No." I looked at his suddenly innocent expression. "I should have known, tho."

Esme raised her delicate eyebrows in confusion.

"Edward can do everything, right?" I explained.

Jasper snickered and Esme gave Edward a disapproving look.

"I hope you haven't been showing off; it's rude," she scolded.

"Just a bit," he laughed freely. Her face softened at the sound, and they shared a brief look that I didn't understand, though Esme's face seemed almost smug.

"Well, play for her," Esme encouraged.

"You just said showing off was rude," he objected.

"There are exceptions to every rule," she replied.

"I'd like to hear you play," I also encouraged.

"It's settled then." Esme pushed him toward the piano. He pulled me along, sitting me on the bench beside him.

He gave me a long, annoyed look before he turned to the keys.

And then his fingers flowed swiftly across the ivory, and the room was filled with a composition so complex, so rich, it was impossible to believe only one set of hands played. I felt my chin drop, my mouth open in amazement, and heard low chuckles behind me at my reaction.

Edward looked at me casually, the music still surging around us without a break, and winked. "Do you like it?"

"You wrote this?" I gasped.

He nodded. "It's Esme's favorite."

I closed my eyes, shaking my head.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, you're just so amazing."

The music slowed, transforming into something softer, and to my surprise I noticed the melody of his lullaby intertwining through the profusion of notes.

"You inspired this one," he said softly. The music grew unbearably sweet.

I couldn't speak, tear beginning to form in my eyes.

"They like you, you know," he said conversationally. "Esme especially."

I glanced behind me, but the huge room was empty now.

"Where did they go?"

"Very subtly giving us some privacy, I suppose."

I sighed. "_They_ like me. But Rosalie and Emmett…"

He frowned. "Don't worry about Rosalie," he said his eyes wide and persuasive. "She'll come around."

"Emmett?"

"Well, he thinks _I'm_ a lunatic, it's true, but he doesn't have a problem with you. He's trying to reason with Rosalie."

"What is it that upsets her?" I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the answer.

He sighed deeply. "Rosalie struggles the most with… with what we are. It's hard for her to have someone on the outside know the truth. And she's a little jealous."

"_Rosalie_ is jealous of _me_?" I asked in disbelief. How could someone as breathtaking as Rosalie have any possible reason to feel jealous of someone like me?

"You're human." He shrugged. "She wishes that she were, too."

"Oh," I muttered, still stunned. "And Jasper, though…"

"That's really my fault," he said. "I told you he was the most recent to try our way of life. I warned him to keep his distance."

I thought about the reason for that, and shuddered.

"Esme and Carlisle… ?" I continued quickly, to keep him from noticing.

"Are happy to see me happy. Actually, Esme wouldn't care if you had a third eye and webbed feet. All this time she's been worried about me, afraid that there was something missing from my essential makeup, that I was too young when Carlisle changed me… She's ecstatic. Every time I touch you, she just about chokes with satisfaction."

"Alice seems very enthusiastic."

"Alice has her own way of looking at things," he said through tight lips.

"And you're not going to explain that, are you?"

He realized that I knew he was keeping something from me. I realized that he wasn't going to give anything away. Not now.

"So what was Carlisle telling you before?"

His eyebrows pulled together. "You noticed that, did you?"

I shrugged. "Of course."

He looked at me thoughtfully for a few seconds before answering. "He wanted to tell me some news, he didn't know if it was something I would share with you."

"Will you?"

"I have to, because I'm going to be a little… overbearingly protective over the next few days; or weeks, and I wouldn't want you to think I'm naturally a tyrant."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, exactly. Alice just sees some visitors coming soon. They know we're here, and they're curious."

"Visitors?"

"Yes… well, they aren't like us, of course, in their hunting habits, I mean. They probably won't come into town at all, but I'm certainly not going to let you out of my sight till they're gone."

I shivered.

"Finally, a rational response!" he murmured. "I was beginning to think you had no sense of self-preservation at all."

I let that one pass, looking away, my eyes wandering again around the spacious room.

He followed my gaze. "Not what you expected is it?" he asked, his voice smug.

"No," I admitted.

"No coffins, no piled skulls in the corners; I don't even think we have cobwebs… what a disappointment this must be for you," he continued slyly.

I ignored his teasing. "It's so light… so open."

He was more serious when he answered. "It's the one place we never have to hide."

The song he was still playing, my song, drifted to an end, the final chords shifting to a more melancholy key. The last note hovered poignantly in the silence.

"Thank you," I murmured. The tears in my eyes fell down my cheeks. I brushed at them, embarrassed.

He touched the corner of my eye, trapping one I missed. He lifted his finger, examining the drop of moisture broodingly. Then, so quickly I couldn't be positive that he really did, he put his finger to his mouth to taste it.

I looked at him questioningly, and he gazed back for a long moment before he finally smiled.

"Do you want to see the rest of the house?"

"No coffins?" I verified, the sarcasm in my voice not entirely masking the slight but genuine curiousness I felt.

He laughed, taking my hand, leading me away from the piano.

"No coffins."

We walked up the massive staircase, my hand trailing along the satin-smooth rail. The long hall at the top of the stairs was paneled with a honey-colored wood, the same as the floorboards.

"Rosalie and Emmett's room… Carlisle's office… Alice's room…" He gestured as he led me past the doors.

He would have continued, but I stopped dead at the end of the hall, staring in amazement at the ornament hanging on the wall above my head. Edward chuckled at my bewildered expression.

"You can laugh," he said. "It _is_ sort of ironic."

I didn't laugh. My hand raised automatically, fingers extended as if to touch the large wooden cross, its dark patina contrasting with the lighter tone of the wall. I didn't touch it, though I was curious if the aged wood would feel as silky as it looked.

"It must be very old," I guessed.

He shrugged. "Early sixteen-thirties, more or less."

I looked away from the cross to stare at him.

"Why do you keep it?" I wondered.

"Nostalgia. It belonged to Carlisle's father."

"He collected antiques?" I suggested doubtfully.

"No. He carved this himself. It hung on the wall above the pulpit in the vicarage where he preached."

I wasn't sure if my face betrayed my shock, but I returned to gazing at the simple, ancient cross, just in case. I quickly did the mental math; the cross was over three hundred and seventy years old. The silence stretched on as I struggled to wrap my mind around the concept of so many years.

"Are you all right?" He sounded worried.

"How old is Carlisle?" I asked quietly, ignoring his question, still staring up.

"He just celebrated his three hundred and sixty-second birthday," Edward said. I looked back at him, a million questions in my eyes.

He watched me carefully as he spoke.

"Carlisle was born in London, in the sixteen-forties, he believes. Time wasn't marked as accurately then, for the common people anyway. It was just before Cromwell's rule, though."

I kept my face composed, aware of his scrutiny as I listened.

"He was the only son of an Anglican pastor. His mother died giving birth to him. His father was an intolerant man. As the Protestants came into power, he was enthusiastic in his persecution of Roman Catholics and other religions. He also believed very strongly in the reality of evil. He led hunts for witches, werewolves… and vampires."

"They burned a lot of innocent people, of course the real creatures that he sought were not so easy to catch. When the pastor grew old, he placed his obedient son in charge of the raids. At first Carlisle was a disappointment; he was not quick to accuse, to see demons where they did not exist. But he was persistent, and more clever than his father. He actually discovered a coven of true vampires that lived hidden in the sewers of the city, only coming out by night to hunt. In those days, when monsters were not just myths and legends, that was the way many lived.

"The people gathered their pitchforks and torches, of course" his brief laugh was darker now, "and waited where Carlisle had seen the monsters exit into the street. Eventually one emerged."

His voice was very quiet; I strained to catch the words.

"He must have been ancient, and weak with hunger. Carlisle heard him call out in Latin to the others when he caught the scent of the mob. He ran through the streets, and Carlisle; he was twenty-three and very fast, was in the lead of the pursuit. The creature could have easily outrun them, but Carlisle thinks he was too hungry, so he turned and attacked. He fell on Carlisle first, but the others were close behind, and he turned to defend himself. He killed two men, and made off with a third, leaving Carlisle bleeding in the street."

He paused. I could sense he was editing something, keeping something from me.

"Carlisle knew what his father would do. The bodies would be burned; anything infected by the monster must be destroyed. Carlisle acted instinctively to save his own life. He crawled away from the alley while the mob followed the fiend and his victim. He hid in a cellar, buried himself in rotting potatoes for three days. It's a miracle he was able to keep silent, to stay undiscovered.

"It was over then, and he realized what he had become."

I'm not sure what my face was revealing, but he suddenly broke off.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I'm fine," I assured him. He must have seen the curiosity burning in my eyes.

He smiled. "I expect you have a few more questions for me."

"A few."

His smile widened over his brilliant teeth. He started back down the hall, pulling me along by the hand. "Come on, then," he encouraged. "I'll show you."


	17. Chapter 16 Carlisle

**Chapter 16 **

**Carlisle**

He led me back to the room that he'd pointed out as Carlisle's office. He paused outside the door.

"Come in," Carlisle's voice invited.

Edward opened the door to a high-ceilinged room with tall, west-facing windows. The walls were paneled again, in a darker wood, where they were visible. Most of the wall space was taken up by towering bookshelves that reached high above my head and held more books than I'd ever seen outside a library.

Carlisle sat behind a huge desk in a leather chair. He was just placing a bookmark in the pages of the thick volume he held. The room was how I'd always imagined a college dean's would look, only Carlisle looked too young to fit the part.

"What can I do for you?" he asked us pleasantly, rising from his seat.

"I wanted to show Diana some of our history," Edward said. "Well, your history, actually."

"I'm sorry, to bother you," I apologized.

"Not at all. Where are you going to start?"

"The Waggoner," Edward replied, placing one hand lightly on my shoulder and spinning me around to look back toward the door we'd just come through. Every time he touched me, in even the most casual way, my heart had a noticeable reaction. It was more embarrassing with Carlisle there.

The wall we faced now was different from the others. Instead of bookshelves, this wall was crowded with framed pictures of all sizes, some in vivid colors, and others dull monochromes. I wondered if they were linked to together, some binding pattern the collection had in common, but nothing seemed to match up to me.

Edward pulled me toward the far left side, standing me in front of a small square oil painting in a plain wooden frame. This one did not stand out among the bigger and brighter pieces; painted in varying tones, it portrayed a miniature city full of steeply slanted roofs, with thin spires atop a few scattered towers. A wide river filled the background, crossed by a bridge covered with structures that looked like tiny cathedrals.

"London in the sixteen-fifties," Edward said.

"The London of my youth," Carlisle added, from a few feet behind us. I flinched; I hadn't heard him move toward us. Edward squeezed my hand.

"Will _you_ tell the story?" Edward asked. I moved a little to see Carlisle's reaction.

He met my glance and smiled. "I would," he replied. "But I'm actually running a bit late. The hospital called this morning, Dr. Snow is taking a sick day. Besides, you know the stories as well as I do," he added, grinning at Edward now.

It was a strange combination to absorb, the everyday concerns of the town doctor stuck in the middle of a discussion of his early days in seventeenth-century London.

It was also unsettling to know that he spoke aloud only for my benefit.

After another warm smile for me, Carlisle left the room.

I stared at the little picture of Carlisle's hometown for a long moment.

"What happened next?" I finally asked, staring up at Edward, who was watching me. "When he realized what had happened?"

He glanced back to the paintings, and I looked to see which picture caught his interest now. It was a larger landscape in dull fall colors; an empty, shadowed meadow in a forest, with a craggy peak in the distance.

"When he knew what he had become," Edward said quietly, "he rebelled against it. He tried to destroy himself. But that's not easily done."

"How?"

"He jumped from great heights," Edward told me, his voice emotionless. "He tried to drown himself in the ocean… but he was young to the new life, and very strong. It is amazing that he was able to resist… feeding… while he was still so new. The instinct is more powerful then, it takes over everything. But he was so repelled by himself that he had the strength to try to kill himself with starvation."

"Is that possible?" My voice was faint.

"No, there are very few ways we can be killed."

I opened my mouth to ask, but he spoke before I could.

"So he grew very hungry, and eventually weak. He strayed as far as he could from the human populace, recognizing that his willpower was weakening, too. For months he wandered by night, seeking the loneliest places, loathing himself.

"One night, a herd of deer passed his hiding place. He was so wild with thirst that he attacked without a thought. His strength returned and he realized there was an alternative to being the vile monster he feared. Had he not eaten venison in his former life? Over the next months his new philosophy was born. He could exist without being a demon. He found himself again."

"He began to make better use of his time. He'd always been intelligent, eager to learn. Now he had unlimited time before him. He studied by night, planned by day. He swam to France and…"

"He _swam_ to France?"

"People swim the Channel all the time, Diana," he explained me patiently.

"Oh, I didn't know that. Go on."

"Swimming is easy for us…"

"Everything is easy for _you_," I grinned.

He waited, his expression amused.

"I'll try not to interrupt again, I promise."

He chuckled darkly, and finished his sentence. "Because, technically, we don't need to breathe."

"You —"

"No, no, you promised." He laughed, putting his cold finger lightly to my lips. "Do you want to hear the story or not?"

"I said I'd try not to. Besides you can't spring something like that on me, and expect me not to say anything," I mumbled against his finger.

He lifted his hand, moving it to rest against my neck. The speed of my heart reacted to that, but I continued.

"You don't have to _breathe_?" I asked in disbelief.

"No, it's not necessary. Just a habit." He shrugged.

"How long can you go without _breathing_?"

"Indefinitely, I suppose; I don't know. It gets a bit uncomfortable; being without a sense of smell."

"A bit uncomfortable," I mused.

I wasn't paying attention to my own expression, but something in it made him grow serious. His hand dropped to his side and he stood very still, his eyes intent on my face. The silence prolonged. His features were immobile as stone.

"What's wrong?" I whispered, touching his frozen face.

His face softened under my hands, and he sighed. "I keep waiting for it to happen."

"For what to happen?" I asked, get a bit confused.

"I know that at some point, something I tell you or something you see is going to be too much. And then you'll run away from me, screaming as you go." He smiled half a smile, but his eyes were serious. "I won't stop you. I want this to happen, because I want you to be safe. And yet, I want to be with you. The two desires are impossible to reconcile…" He trailed off, staring at my face. Waiting.

I groaned, he looked puzzled as I made the sound.

"What?" He asked; still confused.

"You keep doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Saying I shouldn't be with you, I'm not running or going anywhere and I never will. You're not getting rid of me that easily." I promised, giggle a bit.

He laughed too, smiling again. "We'll see."

I scowled at him. "So, go on; Carlisle was swimming to France."

He paused, getting back into his story. Automatically, his eyes flickered to another picture, the most colorful of them all, the most ornately framed, and the largest; it was twice as wide as the door it hung next to. The canvas overflowed with bright figures in swirling robes, writhing around long pillars and off marbled balconies. It looked like something from Greek mythology, or biblical, basing off the characters floating in the clouds above.

"Carlisle swam to France, and continued on through Europe, to the universities there. By night he studied music, science, medicine, and found his calling, his penance, in that, in saving human lives." His expression became awed, almost reverent. "I can't adequately describe the struggle; it took Carlisle two centuries of torturous effort to perfect his self-control. Now he is all but immune to the scent of human blood, and he is able to do the work he loves without agony. He finds a great deal of peace there, at the hospital…" Edward stared off into space for a long moment. Suddenly he seemed to recall his purpose. He tapped his finger against the huge painting in front of us.

"He was studying in Italy when he discovered the others there. They were much more civilized and educated than the wraiths of the London sewers."

He touched a rather cool group of four figures painted on the highest balcony, looking down calmly on the turmoil below them. I examined the grouping carefully and realized, with a startled laugh, that I recognized the golden-haired man.

"Solimena was greatly inspired by Carlisle's friends. He often painted them as gods," Edward chuckled. "Aro, Marcus, Caius," he said, indicating the other three, two black-haired, one snowy-white. "Nighttime patrons of the arts."

"What happened to them?" I wondered aloud, my fingertip hovering a centimeter from the figures on the canvas.

"They're still there." He shrugged. "As they have been for who knows how many millennia. Carlisle stayed with them only for a short time, just a few decades. He greatly admired their civility, their refinement, but they persisted in trying to cure his aversion to 'his natural food source,' as they called it. They tried to persuade him, and he tried to persuade them, to no avail. At that point, Carlisle decided to try the New World. He dreamed of finding others like himself. He was very lonely, you see."

"He didn't find anyone for a long time. But, as monsters became the stuff of fairy tales, he found he could interact with unsuspecting humans as if he were one of them. He began practicing medicine. But the companionship he craved evaded him; he couldn't risk familiarity."

"When the influenza epidemic hit, he was working nights in a hospital in Chicago. He'd been turning over an idea in his mind for several years, and he had almost decided to act; since he couldn't find a companion, he would create one. He wasn't absolutely sure how his own transformation had occurred, so he was hesitant. And he was loath to steal anyone's life the way his had been stolen. It was in that frame of mind that he found me. There was no hope for me; I was left in a ward with the dying. He had nursed my parents, and knew I was alone. He decided to try…"

His voice, nearly a whisper now, trailed off. He stared unseeingly through the west windows. I wondered which images filled his mind now, Carlisle's memories or his own. I waited quietly.

When he turned back to me, a gentle angel's smile lit his expression.

"And so we've come full circle," he concluded.

"So you've always been with Carlisle?" I asked.

"Almost always."

I was about to ask, what he meant by _almost always_; But He put his hand lightly on my waist and pulled me with him as he walked through the door. I stared back at the wall of pictures, wondering if I would ever get to hear the other stories.

Edward didn't say any more as we walked down the hall, so I decide ask, "Almost?"

He sighed, seeming hesitant to answer. "Well, I had a typical bout of rebellious adolescence, about ten years after I was… born… created, whatever you want to call it. I wasn't sold on his life of abstinence, and I resented him for curbing my appetite. So I went off on my own for a time."

"Really?" I was intrigued, rather than frightened, as I perhaps should have been.

He could tell. I vaguely realized that we were headed up the next flight of stairs, but I wasn't paying much attention to my surroundings.

"That doesn't repulse you?"

"No, not really."

"Why not?"

"In a way it sounds reasonable."

He barked a laugh, more loudly than before. We were at the top of the stairs now, in another paneled hallway.

"From the time of my new birth," he murmured, "I had the advantage of knowing what everyone around me was thinking, both human and non-human alike. That's why it took me ten years to defy Carlisle, I could read his perfect sincerity, understand exactly why he lived the way he did.

"It took me only a few years to return to Carlisle and recommit to his vision. I thought I would be exempt from the… depression… that accompanies a conscience. Because I knew the thoughts of my prey, I could pass over the innocent and pursue only the evil. If I followed a murderer down a dark alley where he stalked a young girl; if I saved her, then surely I wasn't so terrible."

I shivered, imagining only too clearly what he described; the alley at night, the frightened girl, the dark man behind her. And Edward, Edward as he hunted, terrible and glorious as a young god; unstoppable. Would she have been grateful, that girl, or more frightened than before?

"But as time went on, I began to see the monster in my eyes. I couldn't escape the debt of so much human life taken, no matter how justified. And I went back to Carlisle and Esme. They welcomed me back like the prodigal. It was more than I deserved."

We'd come to a stop in front of the last door in the hall.

"My room," he informed me, opening it and pulling me through.

His room faced south, with a wall-sized window like the great room below. The whole back side of the house must be glass. His view looked down on the winding River, across the untouched forest to the Mountain range. The mountains were much closer than I would have believed.

The western wall was completely covered with shelf after shelf of CDs. His room was better stocked than a music store. In the corner was a stylish looking sound system, the kind I was afraid to touch because I'd be sure to break something. There was no bed, only a wide and inviting black leather sofa. The floor was covered with a thick golden carpet, and the walls were hung with heavy fabric in a slightly darker shade.

He picked up a remote and turned the stereo on. It was quiet, but the soft jazz number sounded like the band was in the room with us. I went to look at his mind-boggling music collection.

"How do you have these organized?" I asked, unable to find any rhyme or reason to the titles.

He wasn't paying attention.

"Ummm, by year, and then by personal preference within that frame," he said absently.

I turned, and he was looking at me with a peculiar expression in his eyes.

"What?"

"I was prepared to feel… relieved. Having you know about everything, not needing to keep secrets from you. But I didn't expect to feel more than that. I _like_ it. It makes me… happy." He shrugged, smiling slightly.

"I'm glad," I said, smiling back. I'd worried that he might regret telling me these things. It was good to know that wasn't the case.

But then, as his eyes dissected my expression, his smile faded and his forehead creased.

"You're still waiting for the running and the screaming, aren't you?" I guessed.

A faint smile touched his lips, and he nodded.

"I hate to burst your bubble, but you're really not as scary as you think you are. I don't find you scary at all, actually," I lied casually.

He stopped, raising his eyebrows in blatant disbelief. Then he flashed a wide, wicked smile.

"You _really_ shouldn't have said that," he chuckled.

He growled a low sound in the back of his throat; his lips curled back over his perfect teeth. I half expected for his fangs to appear. They didn't as his body shifted suddenly, half-crouched, and tensed like a lion about to pounce.

I backed away from him, glaring.

"You wouldn't, dare." I warned.

I didn't see him leap at me, it was much too fast. I only found myself suddenly airborne, and then we crashed onto the sofa, knocking it into the wall. All the while, his arms formed an iron cage of protection around me, I was barely jostled. But I still was gasping as my mind tried to comprehend what had just happened.

He curled me into a ball against his chest, holding me more securely than iron chains. I glared at him; half alarmed, half anger; but he seemed well in control, his jaw relaxed as he grinned, and his eyes bright only with humor.

"You were saying?" he growled playfully.

"That you are a very, very, very scary vampire," I said with a hint of sarcasm, I still felt a little angry with for do that.

"Much better," he approved.

"Um." I wiggled. "Can I get up now or at least change positions?"

He just laughed.

"Can we come in?" a soft voice sounded from the hall.

I struggled to free myself, but Edward simply readjusted me so that I was somewhat more traditional way, of me seating on his lap. I could see it was Alice, then, and Jasper behind her in the doorway. My cheeks warmed, but Edward seemed at ease.

"Go ahead." Edward was still chuckling quietly.

Alice seemed to find nothing unusual in our embrace; she walked, almost danced, her movements were so graceful — to the center of the room, where she folded herself sinuously onto the floor. Jasper, however, paused at the door, his expression a trifle shocked. He stared at Edward's face, and I wondered if he was tasting the atmosphere with his unusual sensitivity.

"It sounded like you were having Diana for lunch, and we came to see if you would share," Alice announced.

I stiffened for an instant, until I realized Edward was grinning; whether at her comment or my response, I couldn't tell.

"Sorry, I don't believe I have enough to spare," he replied, his arms holding me recklessly close.

"Actually," Jasper said, smiling despite himself as he walked into the room, "Alice says there's going to be a real storm tonight, and Emmett wants to play ball. Are you game?"

The words were all common enough, but the way he said it confused me. I gathered that Alice was a bit more reliable than the weatherman, though.

Edward's eyes lit up, but he hesitated.

"Of course you should bring Diana," Alice chirped. I thought I saw Jasper throw a quick glance at her.

"Do you want to go?" Edward asked me, excited, his expression vivid.

"Sure." I couldn't say _no _to such a face. "Um, where are we going?"

"We have to wait for thunder to play ball; you'll see why," he promised.

"Should I bring an umbrella?"

They all three laughed aloud.

"Should she?" Jasper asked Alice.

"No." She was positive. "The storm will hit over town. It should be dry enough in the clearing."

"Good, then." The enthusiasm in Jasper's voice was catching, naturally. I found myself eager, rather than scared stiff.

"Let's go see if Carlisle will come." Alice bounded up and to the door in a fashion that would break any ballerina's heart.

"Like you don't know," Jasper teased, and they were swiftly on their way. Jasper managed to inconspicuously close the door behind them.

"What will we be playing?" I asked.

"_You_ will be watching," Edward clarified. "We will be playing baseball."

I rolled my eyes. "Vampires like baseball?"

"It's the American pastime," he said with mock solemnity.


End file.
